Disadvantages of joining a sorority?

Parents Forum
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<p>pizzagirl, ellebud, I think you really don’t understand the world outside of your little corner of it. </p>

<p>You both describe what you believe is socially appropriate, but I’m not sure you have any reasonable context in which to judge it.</p>

<p>There is a huge, exciting world that our girls can take part in. Why limit them to the bubble that exists within this superficial uniform, and your notion of propriety? These are 18 year old girls! Do we really want to limit their universe? I’m not sure what you think this is grooming them for - is it helping them be creative? Marry well? Cure cancer? </p>

<p>Seems pretty shallow to me. And based on this discussion, it doesn’t seem like it’s changed much since I graduated college in 1980!</p>

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<p>As an alumna member of a sorority and a mother of an active of a different sorority, I don’t think these attire guidelines for the current members for Recruitment Parties are unreasonable. The suggested clothing options aren’t for the entire year or even all day during recruitment week, simply the rush events themselves. There are no specific brands that the active sisters have to purchase nor are they required to buy clothing at certain stores. If an active wants to pay full price at Nordstroms for a black dress vs getting it at Marshall’s or Filene’s Basement, that is up to her.</p>

<p>There are always implicit guidelines about what to wear. We are not Jewish, but yet when we attended a Jewish wedding, the male members of my family were given yarmulkes to put on when entering the temple. When my daughter had her college interviews, she wore a skirt, blazer and STOCKINGS. The definition of casual may be different in different locations. </p>

<p>A couple of years ago, the Northwestern women’s lacrosse team were invited to the White House. Several of the girls showed up in flip flops and of course this made the news. Perhaps if their coach had given general guidelines to appropriate attire for visiting the White House, they wouldn’t have embarrassed their teammates and the Northwestern community</p>

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<p>Many schools run workshops on how to dress for students about to go out for interviews for co-op or internship programs, or for students interviewing for medical schools. Sometimes engineering schools in particular need to be very specific, in fact. Graduate (or even undergraduate) students presenting at their first professional conferences are also in need of instruction on how to dress. (Varies by field. And sometimes, for a week-long conference, there can be different expectations for each day.)</p>

<p>These types of guidelines are hardly unique to rush. In my experience, guys can usually find something to put together at the last minute, but girls’ clothing is much more complicated, and girls are judged much more harshly for a fashion faux-pas.
Not fair, but that is life.</p>

<p>The rush guidelines my daughter received were along the lines of “day 3, dress pants and nice top, flats or low heels or boots” and came with “do” and “don’t” pictures. When she decided to rush I warned her that she could end up dropping out mid-week, or being cut from all the sororities mid-week, but we both felt that the clothing she acquired was much needed and would be useful in many other situations. </p>

<p>She does not have the time to shop in the middle of a semester( lab courses, time-consuming EC), so we would have bought clothing during break anyway. She did buy clothing that was somewhat more “quirky” than I would have preferred, but she reasoned that a sorority that would have passed her over because of this, or because her version of the guidelines was the inexpensive rather than the designer version, would not be one where she would have felt comfortable anyway.</p>

<p>D chose her school partly because Greek life is not a huge part of campus and the Greek life that does exist is fairly laid-back compared to southern schools. We were kind of surprised when she decided to rush. (Neither of us was interested in Greek life.)Having wardrobe guidelines made the process much easier than it might have been, and we were glad to see that any of the clothing she bought would be useful outside of the rush context.</p>

<p>The biggest disadvantages I see to sorority membership are the expenses and the time commitment, to get back to the OP. I think that going through rush can also be difficult if sororities dominate social life at a particular school, a girl is not aware of how to prepare or what to expect, or a girl would be devastated if she did not get a bid from a particular sorority or any sorority and is unable to put the rush experience behind her.</p>

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<p>

This type of comment also shows narrow mindset.</p>

<p>To think there is only one set of dressing, from home to school, to work, to clubs, to dining out, to dates (jean skirt and Dr. Scholls) is very limiting. When we go to on a beach holiday, my H looks like a CA beach dude. My girls think he is too hip. When he is working, he wears tailored suits. Clothing is a form of self expressing. There is no reason to wear same type of clothes to every occasion. If my business requires me to wear a suit and pumps, I am not going to show up with short skirt and wooden bracelet. It’s employment of will, if I don’t want to adhere to their dress code, then I don’t have to work there. But I am not going to attack them by saying it takes away my creativity or individuality by having to wear boring suits. No different than those sororities. If for one week, you couldn’t adhere to their minimum dress code then don’t join. But don’t say they are narrow minded, shallow, brainless, catty…</p>

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<p>This has nothing to do with sorority dressing but some of theses posts remind me of when the Pope visited NYC 15 or so years ago. A young girl came up to the altar/podium, whatever, and offered the Pope a bouquet of flowers. She was wearing blue jeans. Now, ya think that perhaps meeting the Pope would be an occasion in your life to wear something other than denim?</p>

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<p>Excuse me, Oldfort, but I really have to respond directly to the suggestion that I am the one with the narrow mindset! I have never said anybody was “brainless, shallow or catty” for choosing a certain style of dress. But yes, I did say it is narrow-minded if you think everybody else should dress a certain way–that it’s the only appropriate way. This goes for any sorority or non-sorority girls who judge negatively others that make different style choices from them. I have gone out of my way to emphasize that individuals should have the freedom to choose their style, attire and the groups to which they want to belong. I reiterate that I try never to form a serious opinion of anyone based on whether they dress similarly or differently to me.</p>

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<p>I certainly do not think there is one set of dressing for those occasions, I have repeatedly said that any person can choose how they want to dress for those situations, and that the problem I have is with people who want to judge the core of others because of those choices. I knew I didn’t fit in with the expectations of a sorority, but that doesn’t mean I wasn’t fine with my friends who did. Why can’t you accept the opposite? That there can be happiness and success outside the definition of dress that was put forth in that email.</p>

<p>And yes, of course, if a business has a certain dress code, you adhere to it if you want to work there, just like if you want to join a sorority with a particular standard, but there is nothing wrong with those who choose not to join the business or sorority!</p>

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<p>Seriously? Do you really think the Pope thought any less of that girl for wearing denim? That she was less worthy, less pious? If you are Christian, do you really think Christ, would have been thinking that this girl was dressed inappropriately?</p>

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<p>Don’t people get dressed to go to church? I am not a Christian and we don’t go to church.</p>

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<p>Well, no I don’t think that this particular Pope thought any less of her. But I still feel it was an event to wear something more appropriate to the setting.
I have no opinion about Christ - I am an atheist.</p>

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<p>Hey oldfort - all this talk earlier in the thread about the “right church” etc., and neither of our sorority- joining daughters attend. Kindof ironic, isn’t it?</p>

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<p>Same sorority? You and I shall never disclose.:)</p>

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<p>No, it will never escape my lips!</p>

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<p>I think this discussion is really over, but carry on of course. Heels (pretty ones), Birkenstocks, plastic shizzz and (God forbid) Uggs are all dug in.</p>

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<p>^^^^^LOL. You can say that again.</p>

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<p>So…muffin tops, exposed butt cracks, thongs that show when a young woman sits down are not objectionable? Okay then Please make sure that you shower…And since some ascribe to the notion that if one dresses in a certain way (albeit in jeans only) they will cure cancer, save a child from drowning and reach the heights? </p>

<p>I can say that my friend’s kids who go to Wharton were given a class in what to wear and eat at business functions. But heck, what does Wharton know about success in business. And yes, a job in fashion dictates a different look than a job in investment banking. (notice that I didn’t say What does Wharton know about success in life and interpersonal relationships?)</p>

<p>And so, from my little corner of the world, a really NICE corner of the world my kids will wear jeans and t shirts to school (flipflops to class), appropriate clothes to meetings, dinners and black tie events. They will use the right utensils, say please and thank you (to their host and the waitstaff) and get on with their lives.</p>

<p>See you at the movies.</p>

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<p>At least it’s hard to have a muffin top and a coin slot at the same time - I hope.</p>

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<p>There’s nothing with girls wanting to dress up, follow fashion, etc, but it shouldn’t be a requirement either. Girls shouldn’t be shamed and insulted if they don’t care about such things. </p>

<p>Oldfort–Jesus hung around with the homeless, prostitutes, beggars, and lepers, so I doubt he would be concerned about a kid in jeans and a t-shirt. Some of the people at the church I attended dressed up, some didn’t. It was not a requirement, no one looked down on you if you didn’t dress up. I was friends with the priest and the deacons . . . They didn’t care. I wore jeans and a t-shirt, myself. </p>

<p>Have you ever read “To a Louse” by Robert Burns? </p>

<p>O Jenny, dinna toss your head,
An’ set your beauties a’ abread!
You little ken what cursed speed
The blastie’s makin!
Thae winks an’ finger-ends, I dread,
Are notice takin’!</p>

<p>O wad some Power the giftie gie us
To see oursels as ithers see us!
It wad frae monie a blunder free us,
An’ foolish notion:
What airs in dress an’ gait wad lea’e us,
An’ ev’n devotion!</p>

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<p>No, I’ve seen it…far too often. :)</p>

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<p>I don’t know the answer and that’s why I am asking… Why do people in general get dressed to go to church (or any place of worship)? How did that come about? Even on Little House on the Prairie, they all put on their Sunday best under very harsh condition.</p>

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<p>I think the Pope’s get up is more along the lines of what Jesus wouldn’t do. Gold and red Prada shoes. </p>

<p>OMG - the Pope is a Pi Phi!</p>