I had many challenging and horizons-broadening experiences due to being at MSU:
-Interned in the Senate and was able to work on many pieces of legislation that were near and dear to me.
-Studied abroad in Costa Rica and conducted an ethnographic research project living with the Bribri people there.
-Worked at a domestic violence shelter which heavily influenced by grad school decisions.
-Participated in both Anishinaabemowin and Sign Language learning groups. (Along with becoming near-fluent in Spanish, which is decidedly far more typical.)
Sigh. Prestige, prestige, prestige. Is it really so impossible to admit that there can be a difference in the academic challenge and intellectual atmosphere at different schools? Apparently so.
Immediately we had people talking about how he was rejecting empty prestige, as if prestige is the only reason that anyone would ever choose to attend any school other than the state option. Rejecting higher academic quality is the âmatureâ, âthoughtful,â âindependent-mindedâ decision, because of course anyone who ventures away from their childhood interest in the state U is a snob who is ONLY interested in PRESTIGE.
Anti-intellectualism is alive and well.
This kid may have had excellent reasons for rejecting the schools that apparently his parent feels were better options. But I find it annoying that the instant reaction is to assert, yet again, that âprestigeâ is the only reason someone would make a different choice.
@romanigypsyeyes, we cross posted. I said NOTHING AT ALL about âbrand name schools.â Thatâs your assumption. As I said, he can get a fine education at MSU, as you did. Where do you draw the line? If he had rejected MSU for Grand Valley State because that was his parentsâ alma mater, would you sympathize with the mother for being disappointed?
@Consolation You have yet to explain what exactly it is that Amherst or Northwestern offers that Michigan State doesnât. People can get challenges and expanded horizons from lots of things, such as joining the military. (Which is not a dishonorable choice by any means, donât get me wrong.)
I wouldnât use a term as strong as âhorrifiedâ, but if my kid chose MSU with those other options, Iâd be mystified and stunningly disappointed. Rejecting two of the finest schools in the country for a state school that isnât even a flagship is a decision that defies comprehension. So what if son has wanted to attend MSU since elementary school? What the heck do elementary school kids know about college choices?
Unless there is some unique program that MSU offers, Iâd be highly suspicious that this decision was primarily based on football games, frats, partying and being with a lot of high school friends, and that analysis would never fly in my home. Of course a student can obtain a good education at MSU. I suppose the right person with sufficient talent and drive can secure a good education almost anywhere. But why is that the right way to analyze college choices? The opportunities at Northwestern and Amherst are simply superior. If my kid had told me he selected a non-flagship state school over two of the best educational institutions in the countryâheck, in the worldâmy response would have started and ended with âNo, thatâs not an option unless you plan to pay for it yourself. You chose to apply to these other schools and presumably had good reasons to select them, so pick one.â
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Yes I was horrified at the âhorrified.â
@MommaJ, you put it better than I. 
Oh, my, @Consolation, who said anything about âprestigeâ before you did? I used âbrand nameâ but certainly not as a pejorative. Amherst and NU are fine schools with particular âbrandsâ that they very actively develop and promote. They are well-known in some circles - but not in others.
But theyâre not for everyone, obviously, since theyâre very selective, and itâs only fair that not everyone qualified for the school selects them.
If a kid is lazy, only interested in partying and has no career aspirations at all [this is totally hypothetical! ] then I doubt any school is going to flip his/her switch to âonâ, no matter how academically challenging.
Perhaps if theyâve had bad experiences with hyper-competitive classmates (and er, um, their parents) they donât want to be surrounded by them in college.
And I donât understimate the potential for a sort of âimprintingâ with a parents college. Iâve seen it many times.
The potential is in the kid, there are many different ways for it to be realized and essentially itâs all up to him.
I certainly didnât say or imply that the kid is lazy, only interested in partying, or anything else of that nature. Clearly that is not the case! He is obviously an accomplished student. It seems to me that he is probably making this choice because it is the familiar, comfortable one, and because MSU has been his image of the college experience since childhood. At least thatâs what the OP seems to indicate. Maybe that isnât true. Who knows.
As you say, it is up to him to bloom where he plants himself. As I saidârepeatedlyâhe can get a fine education at MSU. BTW, where did this idea that MSU is not a âbrand name schoolâ come from? I would venture to guess that its brand, nationwide, is a heck of a lot better known than Amherstâs!
I would, as I said, have been horrified if MY kid had made this choice, because it would have been horribly wrong for HIM. As it happens, my kid did not choose the school I thought would suit him best, but the one he chose was similar in quality, if not in character. (He had a good reason for his choice, and he didnât apply to any schools that were way out of the class of the rest of them.) I was very supportive of his choice. (Ironically, my kid disliked both NU and Amherst after visiting, and refused to apply to either one. He also refused to consider anything in Michigan after meeting the fellow who boasted about not reading a book. I pointed out to him that that was the antithesis of his father the MSU gradâlike @Romanigypsyeyes, he ended up there after being admitted to U Michâbut S was adamant. Thatâs the kind of decision one can make at the age of 17 or 18.
There are plenty of parents on CC who report that their kid chose the safety school over the others and were happy with the choice.
BTW, I donât believe in controlling kids through the power of the purse unless the choices they make are genuinely disastrous, and I would never contemplate not paying for MSU because he got into better schools.
The level of my concern over a kidâs choice of MSU over NU or Amherst would be dependent on his major. If he intends to major in something business/social science-related, I would be VERY concerned (maybe close to horrified but not quite) that his opportunities to meet and interact with classmates of influence and connections would be severely lessened at MSU. There just canât be any debate that such opportunities would be far, far, far more available at the other two schools.
On the other hand, if he intends to major in engineering or a hard science or premed, etcâŠeh. MSU would be fine. Heâd have my blessings.
Well, if the decision saved money, you shouldnât be too disappointed. If it didnât and he isnât committed to a path (or isnât talented enough to go down a path) where MSU is likely just as good for someone smart and driven (such as getting a PhD or teaching or a bunch of others), then I can understand the disappointment, but more for decreased opportunities in certain fields. Iâm not the bragging sort, so bragging rights mean nothing to me.
BTW, one of the alum success stories that my HS touts all the time (much more so than alums who have been far more financially successful) went to MSU honors (Iâm pretty certain with scholarship) and is now a tenured professor. However, MSU would provide less of a safety net if heâs not in the top X%.
I told my D to choose the school where she would get involved, join a club and be active, seek out research opportunities, pledge a sorority, take a semester abroad, participate in a club sport. Just do something beyond taking 32 classes in 4 years and graduating. I think the experience outside of class is just as valuable as the classes.
If he can take advantage of the extra opportunities, he can have an outstanding experience at MSU.
Come on @Consolation, I clearly stated I was raising hypothetical scenarios. There was no intent to impugn the kid. SheeshâŠ
But it strikes me that I should have asked the original poster why her son applied to Amherst and NU. Were these his choices or those of the parents or guidance counselors?
Some kids want to please, and sometimes they apply to schools they arenât interested in just to get the 'rents off their backs. Or they come up with strange (to us) reasons not to apply. And to be honest, this trend of kids applying to every bloody ârankedâ school ( x-deep) just because theyâre ranked is sooo totally alien to my experience and seems to be leading to some distortions. But there are many other discussions going on re that so I wonât go any further.
Most of us have been trying to support the original poster, to support her son, so that he maximizes his potential to do whatever he wants to do. As they get older we have increasingly less influence apart from what we instilled in them in their earlier years.
At some point they have to learn to make their own decisionsâŠ
He intends to major in Engineering. The price wouldâve been a bit higher at Amherst and NU, but not enough to influence the decision. Ironically, I am probably most responsible for making MSU possible by asking for more scholarship money. There is a realistic chance that our income will increase substantially in the next few years, so MSUâs merit-based aid not decreasing is, perhaps, a saving grace.
So if the OPs child didnât get into MSU, would this have been âMy child didnât get into his dream school thread.â
If he plans to major in engineering, Amherst doesnât make a whole lot of sense unless he wanted to do the program with Dartmouth, which takes 5 years. (Swarthmore would have been a better LAC fit, perhaps. 
) Thatâs a good reason not to choose Amherst. (My Sâs reason was that it looked âtoo new.â Definitely worthy of the stupidest reasons thread. )
It sounds like MSU makes sense financially. Is he in the honors college?
Please note that I never said or implied EITHER of these things.
My stance is the complete opposite of @Consolation. I wouldnât be horrified by MSU, but I also wonât pay more than in-state costs for a school that wonât offer more/better opportunities or even a different atmosphere than the in-state flagship, while I would for NU & Amherst. If they really want MSU, theyâd have to earn enough merit scholarships to make the cost equal to in-state.
My question - why did he even apply to Amherst and NU ?
To be clear, I am more disappointed about Northwestern than Amherst.
COA for NU was around $6,000, Amherst around $5,000, MSU around $1500.
Amherst was very proactive in encouraging him to apply.
NU is arguably the best private research university within a 4 hour drive.
LOL.
If you honestly think there CAN, by definition, be NO difference in the academic quality of various institutions, what are you doing hanging around a navel-gazing discussion forum like âCollege Confidential?â
By the way my dad was a professor at Michigan State, Iâm not looking down on it, but some of these comments are not only incredibly defensive (why?) but willfully obtuse.
That said I would not be âhorrifiedâ if I were the OP. My son will be attending a small college many people have never heard of and I am absolutely thrilled because it is perfect â for him.
@greeninohio, no doubt NU has a fine engineering school. But, really, most of the Big Ten schools absolutely rock when it comes to engineering. MSU is a respectable choice at a substantial financial savings to you. He will undoubtedly be a top student there and will have good opportunities. I canât imagine that NU engineering grads get offered any more money than MSU engineering grads for starting jobs. Amherst for engineering makes little sense to me.