Disappointed Parents/Second Guessing Myself

<p>OP, what are you trying to achieve from this discussion? What are your options, other than going to attend Brown and felt disappointed? </p>

<p>Looks like you applied to Yale and Brown. What happen to your Yale application? Even if you apply to HPS, what is the chance? </p>

<p>If all you want is for many people to tell you Brown is a great school and you did better than most of the other students. Then you succeed here. Congratulations. Does that change anything in the real life - like you are still going to Brown?</p>

<p>My son graduated with a CS degree last year from Brown. He had a wonderful experience there, both academically and socially. There are a very accomplished group of students at Brown. Give it a chance. I think you’ll love it.</p>

<p>The point really isn’t to convince him of Brown’s wonderfulness (though I’m sure it is wonderful). The point is to get him to understand that all the people around here don’t know what the heck they are talking about, so paying attention to their “opinions” is useless.</p>

<p>OP, are you an expert on what are the top universities in, say, Denmark? Or Sweden? If not, why would you expect people living in Asia to be experts on the top universities in the US? They THINK they know. But they really don’t. You’ll wind up knowing better.</p>

<p>Well, the opinions of people in the OP’s country about a U.S. university may matter if the OP plans to go back to his/her home country to pursue a career.</p>

<p>If the only university the OP gets a degree from is Brown, and Brown doesn’t have a good reputation in the OP’s home country, that might limit his/her prospects (even though we Americans know that Brown is an excellent university).</p>

<p>However, if the OP plans to pursue a career in the United States, this doesn’t matter. Americans know about Brown. And if the OP plans to go to any type of graduate or professional school after receiving an undergraduate degree, it doesn’t matter, either. A degree from a prestigious school like Brown will help the OP get into a good graduate or professional program, and after that, it’s the name of the graduate or professional school that matters – not Brown’s name.</p>

<p>

</p>

<p>Pizzagirl kind of made my point with this comment. I am not an expert on the top universities in those countries. If I were interviewing a job applicant with a degree from a Danish or Swedish university, I wouldn’t have a clue about whether it was a highly respected university or a lesser institution. And that could be a problem for the job applicant. Similarly, Asian job interviewers’ relative unfamiliarity with Brown could be an issue for the OP if the OP goes back home to get a job.</p>

<p>If you were interviewing a job applicant with a degree from a Danish or Swedish university, you could at least google or find other sources to tell you whether it’s a well respected university or a lesser institution. It doesn’t seem like that happens over there. It seems that minds are already made up that XYZ are good and “places I’ve never heard of” can’t be very good. That’s a cultural mindset that’s completely different. It’s a cultural mindset that says I’m not willing to open my mind to the possibility that things are out there that are good that I just happen not to know about.</p>

<p>Nikmillennia, if Brown accepted you they saw that you have the potential to be a self-directed, independent thinker – and you need to be in order to properly take advantage of the school’s open curriculum. So your first step is learning to focus on what you want, not what others tell you that you should want.</p>

<p>

</p>

<p>Once you get to Brown, you will see that the students and faculty totally delight in doing the same thing: mocking their reputation. It’s the only school I have ever heard of that has the audacity to invite accepted students yet to make their final decisions to a gathering and then open their presentation with a 15-minute series of TV and movie clips that make fun of the school (I’ve heard since that many of those mocking clips were actually created by Brown alumni).</p>

<p>My son absolutely loves Brown, but didn’t really know he would until his first visit. I’m sure that you will feel the same once you have had a few weeks to settle in.</p>

<p>Joblue - To answer your last question, I’m honestly not sure.</p>

<p>skrlvr - Thanks! I will look into those (:</p>

<p>Youdon’tsay - Haha I think you could be right. I do understand everything that’s being said here, but sometimes it’s difficult to believe what I “know”. (if that makes sense…) I think I will take you up on your advice!</p>

<p>Dad II - You’re right - at this point I don’t have any other options, because I’ve already committed. But no - that really wasn’t my intent…I just wanted some advice on how to deal with what I’m going through emotionally, since I can’t seem to find that support in my life currently. I think it was (and is) more about finding help to change my frame of mind (as Pizzagirl stated). If that is what you think the purpose of this was, I do (sincerely) apologize. Also, I was waitlisted, but am not banking much on that.</p>

<p>Pizzagirl - You’re right - I don’t know much about colleges anywhere beyond the US, so I wouldn’t make any claims about knowing anything.</p>

<p>Marian - Yes, that was one of my worries if I did decide to return to Asia. I do think I’ll end up going to graduate school, but I’m not sure how much later in life that would be. I suppose that’s part of my worries regarding this entire ordeal…but I guess at the same time it is what it is and if it prevents me from finding a job here I will just work somewhere else?</p>

<p>LoremIpsum - If I’ve had no experience with CS or programming, would it be a good idea to try it at Brown? I’ve been interested, but am afraid I won’t be able to keep up since I honestly don’t know much besides a tiny bit of coding.</p>

<p>Again - thanks for all your help.</p>

<p>The fact that you’re able to identify these feelings and articulate them is terrific in and of itself. Best of wishes to you. You are about to embark on a great adventure, and leave the narrow-minded “life is about HYPSM” folks in the dust.</p>

<p>

</p>

<p>Absolutely! The intro class which counts toward a CS major, CS15, is designed for students with an interest but no previous experience is expected (there is also a less technical class, CS4). CS15 is taught by the legendary Andy van Dam, co-inventor of hypertext and mentor to many on the Pixar staff; it has a theme each year (Harry Potter was this year, 007 the year before) and a skit is presented during the opening class. It’s not hard to get a low A in that class, but students are offered special challenges for a trivial number of bonus points and, remarkably, many students participate just for the challenge, even if getting the A is assured.</p>

<p>Java is taught in that class. One of the mid-semester projects is to program the classic video game Tetrius. For the final project, you can complete one of 4 or 5 pre-determined projects or create one of your own (with approval).</p>

<p>Worst case, you work hard, get a low A, and decide programming is not for you; best case, you find you love the field, take on the extra challenges and get up to full speed for any subsequent CS classes. Brown has several pre-packaged dual majors (called concentrations at Brown) with CS as a component – math/CS, applied math/CS (my son’s choice) and economics/CS.</p>

<p>OP, sooner or later in your life you will learn to only focus on things that you have control of, such as picking the right classes to take and get good grades. </p>

<p>Not all the people you meet in your life will be as nice as most of people here on CC. You will have no control of what others will say to you.</p>

<p>Op,
You are right and others are wrong. You have put thought into it and you know yourself best. Start Brown in the fall, have a blast, and don’t look back!!</p>

<p>Just tell them Emma Watson went there. :)</p>

<p>And John F. Kennedy Jr, and…just google “famous Brown alumni” to find more.</p>

<p>My son graduated from Brown with a CS degree. He had NO prior experience with coding. He took no computer sciences classes in high school. He did well at Brown although he did find the major difficult. He did get through it and is now working in the industry as a software engineer.</p>

<p>OP, how others react will partly depend on you. If you are confident and rock-solid secure in your choice and the research you did to arrive at it, the people around you may start questioning what they think they know. So, head held high, pick two things that are better/better for you about Brown than the other schools, and prepare an answer for the naysayers. </p>

<p>Here’s one argument I’d use: At Brown, the lack of core requirements will let me go much deeper into my major and gain greater expertise in it, than I’d be able to do at a different school. When you say that, say it like you’re already an expert! Also, if I’m not mistaken, Brown has an undergraduate education dept. and HYP do not. That’s a draw for us thinking of our youngest child. Brown is definitely tops in placing students in jobs with non-profit organizations due to their strong community service focus. It that interests you, there’s another reason to select Brown over H and P.</p>

<p>But that goes nowhere against the person who says “but it’s still not HYPSM.” You can’t persuade such people with facts. They are working off emotions. </p>

<p>Trying to convince the naysayers that Brown is good, too, really it is, just perpetuates the notion that it’s important that the other person “approve” of your college choice. It’s a fool’s errand. </p>

<p>You have to shift the discussion to things that aren’t arguable. “Brown’s just as good as HYPSM; look, heres this piece of data and that piece of data” – these people will debate that. “I’m so very happy and delighted to go to Brown” – you can’t argue with that! How can you argue with someone else’s statement of their own feeling?</p>

<p>It’s like when you were a young mother and you wanted to raise your baby doing X and other people, maybe your relatives, thought you should do Y. Arguing the merits of X vs Y just perpetuates the notion that grandma has to approve. Saying “thank you for your concern, but I’m happy with X and my pediatrician agrees and it’s my decision” – they can’t argue that, because it clearly is your decision.</p>

<p>LoremIpsum - That sounds wonderful! (: I’m definitely going to see if I can sign up for that class. The whole “theme” idea sounds just like something I would love.</p>

<p>Wow - those dual majors sound pretty cool! I was considering a neuro or cog sci concentration, but really wanted to do two. Of course, there are actually a lot of things I’m interested in, and that economics/CS sounds amazing (if CS really does end up being for me!) as I really liked economics class.Thank you again! That was really helpful. I think, if I have time, I’ll look into some Java this summer.</p>

<p>Dad II - I agree that that is definitely something I will have to work on, and have had my fair share of unpleasant encounters (sometimes even downright racist and cruel). I do think that usually I am able to hold my own, but I just needed a bit of support. I’m not too sure what you are trying to say, but my purpose for posting this was so that I could get some help sorting out my emotions. While I’m all for resilience and independence, I don’t think cooping this all up inside and burying it down (emotions, after all, are often irrational and out of our control) is healthy. I don’t see the crime in lending out a helping hand, or in my case, seeking one, from time to time.</p>

<p>YoHoYoHo - Thank you! My new motto is to live life without regrets.</p>

<p>mommusic - Yay for Emma Watson! Haha - I heard she is going back and that is awesome, but I do hope she is able to complete her final years in peace. </p>

<p>Viewer - That sounds great! I was somewhat hesitant about trying it before, but now I definitely think I will give CS a shot for sure.</p>

<p>TheGFG and Pizzagirl - Thank you both again, for both of your views on it. </p>

<p>I think, when it comes down to it, I will definitely take the first approach to those who are more open-minded and actually want to know something about Brown.</p>

<p>But, as Pizzagirl has said, I do feel that sometimes it’s a moot point trying to convince others who have such deeply rooted ideas about certain things (honestly I’m not sure why - there are just certain names such as MIT and Berkeley or UCLA that seem to hold a lot of weight here; and they are all great schools, but some other wonderful ones such as Duke and most LACs are unheard of). I guess it is just prejudice. </p>

<p>Even as I write this, I realize that the funny thing is I know all this, in my head. I guess reconciling thoughts with emotions will often be uphill battles.</p>

<p>I would not waste my time digging up information about the glories of Brown. The people who tease you about it, or intimate that you have somehow failed, are being COLOSSALLY RUDE! If you feel compelled to answer them, I would suggest saying, “Brown is a unique institution and one of the finest in the US, I chose it carefully. What motivates you to try to make me feel badly about my choice?”</p>

<p>Your friends are misinformed. Brown is a great school. It’s not a school for everyone, and you should be extremely proud that you were admitted to the school. My son was not accepted to Brown but was accepted at WUSTL, a school that also struggles with name recognition. I really don’t care that most people around us have never heard of the school. All that matters is that we know that it is an outstanding institution and so do graduate schools and employers. He plans on going into medicine, and the premed program at his school is undoubtedly one of the best in the entire nation. Keep your chin up and be proud of what you’ve done. Do not let other people make you feel ashamed of your decision. You have a lot to be proud of. In the end, colleges about you and not about others. What makes you happy and comfortable is all that matters.</p>

<p>It sounds to me like you want your parents to be proud of you and acknowledge your wonderful accomplishment. Instead you’ve found yourself in the awkward position of having to justify what you know ought to be patently obvious: Brown is a top-tier college and you are very lucky to have the chance to attend!</p>

<p>If you can, you might consider saying as much to your parents. “I am proud and happy about my decision. I hope you can be proud of me and happy too.”</p>

<p>As for everyone else, keep in mind their comments reveal their own ignorance, nothing more. You have embraced your decision – well done! </p>

<p>Best of luck at Brown. I think you’re about to embark on a wonderful journey :)</p>