Disenrolling from Boarding School question?

Prep School Admissions
1

<p>Hello,</p>

<p>--- back story</p>

<p>I got rejected from my top choice boarding school. Let's just say it was one of top two competitive schools this year. Seriously this Sunday I enrolled at this new, much less academically competitive school, because they had rolling admission and it was very very last minute. Anyway, I get here and I hate it more than I can say. Theres a lot about the school I hate; the people, the FACULTY!, the environment, the facilities, the academics, the music program, the language program, the scheduling, the "uniform", the dishonesty! and everything else in between.</p>

<p>The school is really big on equestrian and I'm not sure if that's exactly it but my nose has been irritated all week. I've been congested, wake up not able to talk sometimes and I'm not sure if it's a horse allergy, I'm not usually in this environment.
Okay what I really hate is this school is NOT AS ADVERTISED. Everything they said they had they don't have... The dorms they showed were pretty much luxury senior girls dorms and I ended up squished in this super humid sophomore girls dorm on the other side of campus that literally looks like a shack. The school charges more than Deerfield, per se, and has significantly less than half the opportunities. On Wednesday my mom informed the school she intended on pulling me out. not to mention every time I talk to her I feel like someones over my shoulder and they are! A few days ago I was talking to her on the phone about how the classes I'm enrolled in are not the ones I was supposed to be in and when I came downstairs my counselor was there! and made a comment about pretty much everything I said to my mother ( not to mention I was in my CLOSET) </p>

<p>-----I have to mention this</p>

<p>about three days ago my mother informed the school of my disenrollment and I had this sense because of how sneaky and weird they ran the place that they would try and pull all the stops to keep me from leaving. Thats exactly what happened. Two girls already left this week! I don't know the particulars for them but anyway the school started giving me trouble. I had a migraine ( I have chronic migraine, it's on my medical file) and when under a lot of stress ( like talking back and forth to my mom about school)I get the eye twitches, severe nausea, dizziness, the whole works. They didn't even let me go to the nurse they had me walking back and forth across campus and wouldn't even let me sit down and kept saying I was "home sick" like I had never been away from my home before or something... Then some teacher person whatever was outside my door while I was talking to my mom and when I opened the door she pretty much jumped back and then she was like you need to stop being a baby and suck it up... Who says that? My mother wouldn't call me a baby for having a migraine whilst debating whether to leave this school and being told I'm "not physically sick" (just home sick). </p>

<p>It was awkward and embarrassing because 11 faculty so far have pulled me over or emailed me about being this frickin "home sick" as they put it. They were like oh you should try being independent and you're not really sick and how about you try it here another week... stupid stuff like that. I hate it here not to mention when I told some of my new friends I planned on leaving they all jokingly of course asked me to pack them in my suitcase and my roommate hates it here so much (she's international) half the girls cry themselves to sleep every night, which they openly admitted which I think really says something.</p>

<p>----My actual question!!-----</p>

<p>I"ve been here all of 5 days and I am completely unhappy, miserable, and depressed. My mother said she would be disenrolling me like 3 days ago? About an hour ago she gets a message from the business office saying that I have to stay here 14 school days ( until the 24th) and if not then I have to pay $42,000 and If I stay until the 24th then I have to pay $28,600. </p>

<p>Seriously? Are they really trying to trap me at the school? It's not fair because I'm not super rich my family is upper middle. Sure she can pay the 42 or 28 but I don't think it will sit well with her... or be comfortable for my family's finances. </p>

<p>I really want to know if this is true especially from what I've experienced with this school and it's dishonesty I'm skeptical now of anything they say to me or my mother. If you've been at a school 5 days and don't like I have to pay full tuition? does that sound right? And what about that other, so called "home sick", girl who left the SECOND DAY? did she too have to pay full tuition for her 48 hours?</p>

<p>sorry this is so long it's kind of a rant but I just want you to understand my frustration and my skepticism with this arbitrary issue they've seemed to pull out their sleeves...</p>

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<p>Did you not visit the school before you enrolled? </p>

<p>How big is the school’s endowment? Why are you surprised the school has fewer opportunities/amenities than Deerfield? Deerfield and other “top” schools have a Godzilla-sized endowments that fund half the operating expenses. </p>

<p>Did you not read the terms of the contract you signed? </p>

<p>Why the urgency to jump into applying to and enrolling in any boarding school?</p>

<p>The school is not “forcing” you to stay. It is giving you a monetary incentive to give it a chance. I think staying 14 days to give the school a chance is not unreasonable. Why not be open minded and give the school a chance? What have you got to lose at this point, but another week of time? </p>

<p>Reading between the lines of your rant, I sense that it may not be this particular school that makes you unhappy, but that you did not get into your top choice school.</p>

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<p>Your parents signed a contract. Unless your medical condition completely prevents it, I suggest you try to make the best of it and give the school more time. Whether your family is wealthy, middle class or whatever, $28,000.00 - $42,000.00 isn’t loose change you suddenly find in a sofa.</p>

<p>Cheer up and do the best you can.</p>

4

<p>I’m still not sure what the question is – at least what question it is that you might be asking of us that your parents don’t know the answer to. Every question that I can glean from that post seems to be something your parents know the exact answer to. In fact, their answer would be far more specific and accurate and fact-based than the answers we could provide. Yet you say that you’re frequently on the phone with your parents, so either they’re not answering or you’re not asking.</p>

<p>For other parents: This dynamic is kind of common. Student is exasperated, scared, dissatisfied, disoriented, has buyer’s remorse, etc. and reaches out to parents. The parents, being parents, try to help. But the parents are dealing with the situation telephonically, with limited, very controlled information from their child, so the parents are – to some extent – out of their element. In the meantime, the people who are being paid as much as Deerfield – per se – are either cut out of this important loop that they’ve been given responsibility for handling or they’re only getting limited access and information. So neither the remote parent or the bypassed, local staff at the school are fully equipped to deal with the student’s actual needs in the best, most competent way. Generally speaking, parents should communicate with the school and urge the child to do so. The parents and the school should be collaborating with each other and, in their communications with the student, they should be reinforcing their agreed-upon approach for assisting the student. </p>

<p>The message to the student should be consistent, regardless of whether the student talks to parent or school staff. That means direct parental communication with the school. In this kind of case the student has (perhaps unintentionally) given the school and the parents different information and presented different problems. If the parents and school open up communications with one another, that toxic dynamic is easily defeated. That’s not to say that the problem(s) will be resolved and everything will be sweetness and light. It just means that the adults are giving themselves the best possible chance to get to the bottom of things and bring all of their combined and considerable resources to bear to address the student’s actual needs.</p>

<p>karacapri: I don’t think this answers a question you raised, but you would do yourself a favor by encouraging your parents and the school faculty staff member you trust/like the most to talk to each other and then help you out. You seem to have focused on one and only one resolution: immediate withdrawal. The grown-ups have a much larger arsenal of fixes and ways to address your concerns and you should let them help you instead of pushing for the one resolution that you’ve decided is the only one for you. One reason you may not be getting answers to your questions about withdrawing is that your parents and the school are already working together – as they should be. Let that happen.</p>

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<p>No, you’re all wrong. My mother is the one who’s annoyed she can’t doesn’t remember agreeing to these terms. The school is obviously not deerfield but not just what they say but their website and their what I know are controlled “reviews”. They showed me facilities and classrooms on the tour that I would never be using and promised classes that they didn’t have to begin with. They told my mom they were as competitive as Miss Porter’s… I don’t want to say what the name of the school is</p>

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<p>I was told in the past by an AO that the school can’t charge you for the services they didn’t provide (i.e. schooling) according to law. If you engage an attorney, the school may not be able to collect the money from you if you disenroll. It is definitely worth checking with a lawyer to review your contract and the lemon law. This is what I have heard, I’m not a lawyer. Do you have a Tuition Refund Insurance (TRI)? If you do, they will pay the school if you left.</p>

7

<p>The obligation to provide the tuition isn’t contingent on the student receiving services. The school’s argument is that you took a space that they cannot fill if you vacate the space two weeks into the school year. They budgeted for the student to pay. </p>

<p>A “lemon law” wouldn’t apply here. It’s not like a student would return the school for service X number of times to establish that the education was a lemon.</p>

<p>And tuition refund insurance isn’t “no questions asked” such that they’ll simply cut a check for any reason whatsoever.</p>

<p>The contracts will state these things in black-and-white terms. The fact that a parent doesn’t remember these things being in the contract they signed doesn’t make them disappear. The parent here can look at the contract and see what’s what. I still don’t understand what the question is for us to answer blindly that can’t be answered conclusively by the parent looking at a document.</p>

<p>And as for the eavesdropping – as well as the claims under the bait-and-switch umbrella – I take all of them with a grain of salt. The deft use of dramatic effect is not outside the skill set of young teenage posters with an axe to grind.</p>

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<p>You don’t seem to understand the question</p>

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<p>If I were to get a lawyer what would be my case and what should I be asking for. My mom suggested getting a lawyer as well. </p>

<p>Can you sue for false advertisement or whatever? I really don’t like how they lied about absolutely everything. They had us eating off of paper plates and forks, and you see what the tuition is…</p>

10

<p>Lawyers know more ways to contest a product not delivered to your satisfaction. In this case, it appears to be what you are getting is not what you are promised/advertised or what you want or need. The attorney needs to review the contract terms and see what can be done about it in your situation. Schools may also over enroll to cover for these kinds of things happening based on their past statistics.</p>

11

<p>Just finding out from my mom she never signed a contract. I came super late the day of registration and the computers were down so she only signed for the insurance and medical forms. </p>

<p>I seriously think they only want me for the money it’s really annoying. I took pre calc sophomore year (i’m retaking sophomore year) having of course taken all the other maths and I’ve taken bio, chem, and physics. I’ve played the cello at carnegie hall twice ( once orchestra, once solo) so I figured they would want me to contribute to the music program or take advantage of their classes they so supposedly had but I haven’t even spoken or seen the music director since I’ve been here nor had any information about continuing my private lessons. My main issue is the courses. They put me in TRIG! they are working out of an algebra ii book! this is why I’m so annoyed!!! The girls in the class don’t know functions or how to transform graphs. I learned that in basic math 8th grade. This is why I hate this school so much, Me going here makes absolutely no sense!</p>

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<p>I took out tuition insurance last year and I distinctly remember that the student had to be at the school for at least 14 days (or similar) for the insurance to be valid. After that period you would receive a 70% (prorated obviously) refund.</p>

<p>I will agree that the eavesdropping is definitely creepy.</p>

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<p>7-26-2013, 01:53 AM #1
karacapri
New Member</p>

<p>Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 10</p>

<p>Which Boarding School is better?
So Purnell School, Phillips Academy (Andover), and Blair Academy are waiting for my final decision.</p>

<p>OP had a different slant on July 26th. So what happened??</p>

14

<p>karacapri - I understand that you’re upset. It sounds like things REALLY didn’t turn out the way you expected!</p>

<p>But (and this is important) this is not something that you can fix. It’s up to your mother. I know you’re trying to help by coming here for advice, but it would be best if you could convince your mother to open her own account here on CC so she can explain the situation to us herself. If she wants our help, we’d be happy to try.</p>

<p>If there are legal issues, or money issues, or contractual issues, that’s something your mother is going to have to deal with. Try to be patient with her, and give her the time she needs to sort things out.</p>

15

<p>Actually do you mind telling us which school you’re at?</p>

<p>BTW Have you considered switching to a new school say in the second semester instead? It might be easier. I know quite a few schools who admit new students in for the second semester.</p>

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<p>Tuition insurance requires a 14 day stay before it will activate to pay the remaining percentage portion of the tuition for your family, it is in the contract, feel free to call the tuition insurance company (which is not your school, by the way). That has been in every tuition insurance policy we have used in the last 3 years.</p>

<p>Tuition insurance is good for students who leave school, even for medical reasons. Otherwise the contract requires families to pay the full tuition for the year. Read the contracts!</p>