<p>Our divorce agreement states that my ex will pay only the pro-rata share of a NY State Universtity cost. Our child wll go to a private universty - about twice or three times the cost of NYS. </p>
<p>Will the financial aid offices consider that I only get a small amount from my ex (per the divorce agreement) and give me more help or will they ignore the divorce agreement and expect the ex to pay more?</p>
<p>No. They will go on the financial statements (FAFSA and CSS Profile) and ability to pay only. If they accepted agreements like yours, every divorced couple would simply exclude the higher income and assets from consideration by making such an agreement.</p>
<p>Has your ex indicated that he or she will not pay the difference? Is your son or daughter in direct communication with his or her other parent about expenses and what is available? </p>
<p>I am also curious why you would think the money would go to you and not directly to the college or to your student. I don't want to assume anything about your relationship with your ex, but is it possible that your ex might do more for his or her child if you were not in the middle of the equation? It is common for divorced spouses to be weird about money going to the ex and if the funds were paid directly to the college or to the student it can remove some of that resentment if it exists in your situation.</p>
<p>I might not have phrased it corrctly - the money will go to the school, not to me. </p>
<p>I am all for openness and discussing finances with my child but my ex isnt. My ex says things that arent true. My child is an adult now and should know</p>
<p>In response to your question, in most cases(I haven't found an exception yet, though I suppose some might be out there...):</p>
<p>"Will the financial aid offices consider that I only get a small amount from my ex (per the divorce agreement) and give me more help"</p>
<p>No. I know plenty of sitautions where one parent refuses to pay a dime, leaving two choices: Paying Parent+Kid shoulder burden of the calcualted expected contribution of the nonpaying parent or Kid attends cheaper school. </p>
<p>"or will they ignore the divorce agreement and expect the ex to pay more?"</p>
<p>Bingo. They will expect him to pay whatever they calculate him as being able to pay.</p>
<p>I am in the same boat but the opposite way. I am suppose to pay for a 1/4 of my son's education of the best college offer. He received a full ride offer to a college of not his choicing and decided to go to a private univ. that better suited his major and goals ( med school ). In his 529, he has enough to pay for 3 years of his education. I am willing to put up my 1/4 still. But that means my ex gets off of paying anything. What should I do? I am battling with myself of doing the right thing or paying a prorata share of the one year.</p>
<p>trey - why would your ex not have to pay anything? 1/4 of 1 year, since you are willing to pay, since he didn't take the best offer, should cover you. But this is your child, so helping out with a few expenses along the way would be a big help. And it shouldn't matter what your ex does or doesn't pay - what should matter is your child. You all three need to sit down and talk frankly about the situation.</p>
<p>Trey: How was the 529 funded? By you? Your ex? Both? Grandparents? To some extent, that makes a difference to me in figuring out what "the right thing" is.</p>
<p>Also, will he need the 529 for medical school? (You can bet your sweet bippy he will!) Are you obligated under the decree to pay for post-BA education? When you discuss this with your ex and your son, I would try to make a plan that covers the possibility of medical school, while acknowledging that only a fraction of 18 year-olds who plan on going to medical school actually ever enroll in one.</p>
<p>brooklynrats: I still don't understand the situation. </p>
<p>Has your ex said she or he won't pay the pro-rata share of the difference between the cost of NYS and the EFC?</p>
<p>Colleges don't allocate EFC between divorced parents, if that is what you are wondering about. They collect financial data from both parents, and spit out an expected FAMILY contribution. It is up to the two parents and the student to figure out how to divvy up the family nut. It seems to me that the fairest way is to divide in terms of income--if between the two of you you make $100,000 per year and one earns 30% and one earns 70% then the costs are split that way after you deduct any college savings contribution and your child's contribution. </p>
<p>Again, I'm not sure what you are asking, but if your ex can't or won't do anything other than cough up her or his share of the minimum, your child is in the same boat as kids with married parents who can't or won't pay beyond a state school--either present a compelling case for the upgrade to the skeptical parent, attend the NYS or (I don't recommend this) borrow insane amounts of money. </p>
<p>Please DO NOT fall victim to the old martyr syndrome and borrow money you can't really afford to repay just to show your child what a jerk your ex is. I see this all the time and the only thing it ever gains is a child with no sense of reality and a lot of emotional blackmail.</p>
<p>Mombot,</p>
<p>To clarify: The divorce agreement says that my ex pays his pro-rata share of a NYS tuition/room/board. Let's say we make the same. If NYS t/r/b is $20,000, that means he pays half of $20,000, ($10,000) and I pay the rest (also $10,000).</p>
<p>If my child goes to a private school, my ex is still only obligated to pay $10,000 and I have to pay $40,000 (assuming private college t/r/b is $50,000). That's not fair.</p>
<p>I was hoping that the FASA would show what he should really pay ($25,000). </p>
<p>I plan to go to family court if I can't get him to agree to pay more. I have two kids so the additional $15,000 per year (diff between $10K and $25 K)for 4 years times two = $120,000. That's enough of an incentive to goout and get a good lawyer and get what I deserve.</p>
<p>What do you think?</p>
<p>A word to those who are thining of divorce - learn from my mistake!!! Dont be so easy on your ex.</p>
<p>I don't think you would find an honest lawyer to take your case because no parent is responsible for given their children a college education. It's all voluntary.</p>
<p>You might be right, unfortunately.</p>
<p>Actually, that varies from state to state. Some states do impose an obligation to support a child through college, and some may even require tuition payments. But I don't think any states would impose a private college tuition requirement.</p>
<p>If your child applies to a school that uses the FAFSA only, you will not need to include your ex spouses income and assets. If your child applies to private schools using the Profile, they will require a non-custodial parent form be completed by your ex which will include income and assets, and won't care at all about your divorce agreement. Look at it this way...suppose some billionaire (who could clearly afford to help pay his child's college bills at "Private U") had a clause in the divorce agreement that says "don't need to pay more than X". Would it seem right to you that this parent wasn't responsible for contributing to college expenses when clearly he can afford to do so? If you truly do not want to have to deal with your ex spouses income and assets, your child should apply to schools which require only the FAFSA which does not require reporting of these assets.</p>
<p>To build on Thumper's posting ... if your child applies to schools that only require the FAFSA (and do not consider your ex's income and assets) then his contribution (which the FAFSA would not expect) is like a scholarship and reduces your actually contribution compared to the FAFSA calculations. A bunch of the top elite schools do require a Profile in addition to the FAFSA ... however there are a ton of excellent schools that only require the FAFSA.</p>
<p>Ok so you made a deal during your divorce that ex hubby will pay $y dollars per year. This number was indexed at half cost of a NYS School. Good idea, you hedged your kids reimbursement against the constantly escalating cost of college. </p>
<p>But your son doesn't want to go to a school in this price range... you will instead send him to one at 2 to 3 times the cost. Thats your choice.</p>
<p>I think that if you have a committment from ex of $y, (which equals 1/2 X), and choose to spend 3 X that you need to come up with the green to make up the difference either in scholly monies, loans, or other Finaid.</p>
<p>I seriously doubt that you would have any success in dragging ex hubby back to court, but any number of lawyers will be willing to bring the case forward.</p>
<p>Its like having an agreement that he would buy son a Used Corolla, but son wants a new Lexus. </p>
<p>Hey I want a new Lexus too. But I can't afford one. I think it is irresponsible for you to even have encouraged your son to go to a school that financially may be out of reach.</p>
<p>To answer JHS and ejr1, the 529 was funded by myself and grandparents. The grandparents on both sides have agreed to pick up any shortages that come about, including med school or grad school. The point is I am going out and paying additional money so my kid can go to the college of his dreams and grandparents are going to help. The problem is the ex makes more than I do and she is not paying anything. I have decided I am going to cover all that I can possible afford.</p>
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<blockquote> <p>I was hoping that the FASA would show what he should really pay ($25,000). >></p> </blockquote>
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<p>I'm betting you mean the FAFSA. The FAFSA does NOT ask for non-custodial parent information. The Profile, which is used by many private schools and some higher profile public universities REQUIRES (note...not optional) the completion of the non-custodial parent form which includes the income and assets of the non-custodial parent. As noted above, if your former spouse is earning a huge income and doesn't want to contribute, this is really NO different than the married parents where one parent doesn't want to contribute. The difference is YOUR family does have the option of applying to FAFSA only schools which do NOT ask for non-custodial parent information. If this non-custodial parent information is really something you do not want to disclose, or the NCP won't disclose...apply to schools that use the FAFSA only. Oh...one more caution...check to see which forms are required by the schools. Some schools also have their own forms and some of these do include information about NCP income and assets.</p>
<p>Brooklynrats wrote: "f my child goes to a private school, my ex is still only obligated to pay $10,000 and I have to pay $40,000 (assuming private college t/r/b is $50,000). That's not fair."</p>
<p>Well, fair is irrelevant. If we want to focus on fairness, the real victim here is your child, who has fewer choices than he would have had his parents been married to each other. Let's ignore fair because we could argue about that all day and talk about the real issue, which is what is achievable. </p>
<p>You have a couple of choices. Your son or daughter can accept what his dad will pay plus what you are willing to pay and shop for colleges where the cost of attendance is total parental contribution plus what the kid can earn plus a modest amount of student loans. I don't think there's anything wrong with a modest amount of undergraduate debt, although over about $20K total is my own personal comfort level; a kid with a CS or engineering major or something else where a Bachelor's will get a decent income right out of school may be able to take on more. </p>
<p>Worst case your child gets in state four year fully funded by parents; he can probably find a private or out of state school that is slightly more if his stats are high enough for some merit aid, so there are some choices here, but not an unlimited menu.</p>
<p>The second choice is if your ex has the money, your student sits down with his dad and goes over the EFC, why it makes sense for dad to finance his share of private costs, and what you and the student are doing for your contributions. I hope I don't need to say that if you want ex to pony up more than his legally required minimum, you would do the same. </p>
<p>You will get nowhere in family court other than you will waste money on lawyers that could be better spent on college expenses. I can also guarantee that any parent would far rather pay up because their child asked than because a judge ordered them to pay.</p>
<p>A closing comment: if the FAFSA is the calculation that says your expected family contribution is $50,000, then that is based on the custodial parent's household ability to pay, so any money you get from the ex means you get a break. </p>
<p>To give you an example: DH's daughter does not live with us. She applied to both FAFSA and CSS Profile or School-method colleges. Her EFC at the FAFSA only schools was about $25,000. Her EFC at the schools that looked at our household was full sticker. What that meant is that FAFSA thinks that her mother can handle $25,000 per year assuming she continues to receive the child support from her ex that she received the year she filed for aid. DH no longer pays child support, but he is giving the funds plus some to his daughter so the ex's actual contribution is less than her EFC.</p>
<p>Unfortunately, you negotiated that divorce decree, and your son is now stuck with it. You could have negotiated that you and your ex would split the cost of whatever college your son wanted to go to evenly, or pro rata according to each's income, or fully for state tuition or whatever other situation you now deem is "fair". You didn't. </p>
<p>Your ex is not obligated to pay any more than he agreed to pay in the settlement. There are no "changed circumstances" that would justify a revision of the decree, other than your son's desires to go to a school that costs more.</p>
<p>The "owrd to the wise" for parents considering divorce is to be careful what you negotiate and what you give away.</p>