I don’t think it is as important to spend an overnight as it is to attend classes.
When my son was down to 2 schools, he spent the weekend at one, for admitted students. Lots of classes to attend. He didn’t focus on his host who basically deserted him. He and 3 other admitted students hung together in a lounge. Other college, sat in on classes over 2 days. Ate in cafeterias. Did some for both schools.
To this day, he probably would have done just as well at either school.
D1 also did a pre-app overnight, liked the kids she was paired with, they did some partying, then stayed up late playing some game. Great gals. But overall, that was only one of the slivers that held her interest in that school. I agree with others who point out it’s just one random pairing. D1 did attend the college, an excellent match and she was very happy, but did not keep any friendships with the gals she met that trip. Imo, an overnight is really just a different sort of look-see, not a predictor of your fit or the friends you’ll make. Unless, of course, there is something structural you don’t like- eg, the size issue someone mentioned.
DS1 did a few overnights at schools that he was considering or was already accepted at. The overnights that were a part of a big overnight program did not make as much off an impression on him as the individualized overnights.
One school paired him with a Freshman. They met in the late afternoon. Everyone on the dorm floor knew my S was coming and they made a big fuss over him. A large group took him to dinner in the dining hall. Then they walked him all over campus, taking him on an extensive tour of the campus and its facilities, labs, etc.
The next morning he went to classes, then had lunch with a student in the program he was interested in, met with the administrator for that program, and met with one of the program’s professors.
The 24 hours made a great impression on him. He ended up attending that school, having a great experience there, and graduating from there.
Based on my DS’s experience, if your DC can arrange individualized overnight programs at schools, he/she will probably get a lot more out of it than group overnights with a large number of others.
If the student has a top choice I think it’s a good idea to do an overnight before applying, especially before applying ED. There are lots of reasons for this. At the super-selective liberal arts college that was his first choice, DS hit it off really well with his host and all of his friends so they collectively wrote a letter about how good a fit he was for the school to include in his application package. The host also make suggests on his “Why SS-LAC?” essay when the time to apply came. He met with a prof and had a great talk for about 45 minutes after the class he visited and he had a really nice interview with a real admissions officer in the real admissions office (not like when we went to a selective LAC on their prospective students weekend and he met with a student interviewer) and had a great interview. It cemented his interest in this place as his #1 school, and got him through a period when another person who was in-the-know tried to dissuade him from it (long story). In the end, the schools he was admitted to and the ones he was most interested in were the ones he’d visited, especially the ones he’d spent the night at.
Yes if your son can set up an overnight it is worth pursuing. My D did a few overnights last October (although not during school sponsored admissions events) and it was well worth the effort to spend that extra time on campus. She decided to apply ED to her favorite and is looking forward to starting in a few weeks!
If students go in realizing that some hosts have just been asked to make floor space available and not to be hosts, I think it’s fine. My older son saw hardly anything of his Harvard host, but there were so many activities scheduled for accepted students weekend it didn’t matter. They didn’t appear to have anything in common anyway. He did have more engaging hosts at Carnegie Mellon, it was a biggish rooming group mostly theater techies, but one of the roommates was a comp sci major - they played video games into the wee hours except for the comp sci major who had to cut out early because he had too much homework. (My son was a budding comp sci major and did pick CMU in the end.)
My younger son’s hosts took their hosting duties pretty seriously, though I thought taking a group bowling quite a ways off campus (which is what one host did) instead of doing something on campus was weird. Another host took a group to the local ice cream parlor which was definitely a college hangout. A third had dinner in the dining hall and then did homework while ds got involve in planned activities.
Both my kids attended a class or two, but were aware that one or two teachers aren’t really representative of the whole school. At least the U of Chicago class was one of the Core classes, so kid knew he was likely to take something similar.
Only if it’s something he wants to do.
Some kids don’t want to do overnights. The experience can be torture for an introverted kid, and in that case, it’s not likely to contribute anything valuable to the decision-making process.
My very introverted Dd is not interested at all in an overnight until she has been accepted. She’s been sent emails for fly ins, bus trips and invites for prospective student visits at prestigious schools. We decided to visit for all day open houses, and to visit classes, but save the overnight for later in the process.
D did overnights at several schools. I think they’re a great way to see the school from a student’s perspective, and to experience the campus and talk with students without parents hovering around. But it’s crucial to go into an overnight visit with the understanding that the host student may not be their type, and is not representative of the entire student body. Just because the host is a “nerd” or a “partier” doesn’t mean everyone there is like that. Colleges are big places with lots of different people! It’s a shame when kids are turned off from a school just because their host was not an ideal match for their personality. But if they can keep an open mind and see beyond that, an overnight stay can give them a great insider’s view of the school.
FWIW, my D has hosted quite a few overnight visitors. At her school, at least, being a host student is completely voluntary. If you want to host a prospective student, you sign up for it, and you don’t get anything for doing it. So the hosts are doing it because they want to. D loves doing it, but she’s always a bit nervous because she really wants to make a good impression and wants her visitors to have a positive experience. So far, she has a 100% success rate - all of the students she’s hosted have ended up enrolling! 
I’m doing an overnight at my top school in November. I think it will be a good experince.
My oldest is almost pathologically introverted. I’ve been tempted to give him the shirt that says, “I’m not anti-social, I’m just not user friendly.” He disliked visiting colleges, but once he was accepted and actually had to choose one of the four, he saw the light. He did overnights at the top two choices and it didn’t kill him. He found kids like him at both colleges and I think it really helped him figure out what he wanted out of college.
At CMU they were short hosts and basically the kids who had already volunteered badgered their friends to make space available. By the end of the day their was room for everyone at accepted students weekend. (We went knowing he might have to stay at the hotel that weekend, because all the slots were filled, but CMU had told him to bring his sleeping bag and they’d see what they could do.)
I think it is worthwhile, but know, as stated above, that your overnight may not give the whole picture.
I never did it and probably should have, but we were too poor. S1 didn’t do an overnight but did an accepted students’ fete and it was great for him. It reenforced his choice. S2 did an overnight and it helped him. He went in looking for certain elements he hadn’t seen on his first, non overnight visit. S2 was worried that there weren’t people like him so he went in looking to see what the campus culture was like, the student campus culture. He was looking for the jocks, the nerds, the rich kids, the minorities. Yes, it was just a snapshot, but it put his mind at ease.
It helped a bit - at least provided more data for my kids. My older daughter decided against one school because of the high level of pot usage she observed on her overnight visit; my younger daughter decided against a school in part because she noticed an underlying mean-girlness and competitive vibe in the dorm - she loved everything else and she thought it was just a sub-group, but it helped her reach a decision.
Back in the Dark Ages, my daughter spent a fair amount of time reading the LiveJournal forums for the colleges in which she was most interested. That was probably the most important factor for her in figuring out where she wanted to go. The college she ultimately chose was obviously full of people who were a lot like her. Not everyone, certainly – there was a big range everywhere. But there were significant differences in tone and content from one college to another. It’s too bad – I don’t think that really exists anymore.
She (and her sibling) also did a few overnight visits. They were lucky enough always to have someone they knew to stay with, which helped a lot in understanding what they were seeing. Mostly I think that helped convince them that they would adapt and be fine wherever they went. The overnight visit aspect didn’t really move the needle on any colleges. A couple did get x-ed out based on observing classes that they hated, though.
For my son whom I mentioned in this thread, it, too, was the classes and also his discussions with kids he met at the dorm and at his meals that x-ed out the school to which he originally intended to apply ED. It just so happened that he did all this on an overnight visit. And his host was never a part of his decision. The guy was nice enough.
It’s worthwhile to do an overnight. BUT it’s also important to use the host experience as just oe minor datapoint.
For example, DS had one host that ditched him, but it was no big deal. It was a small-ish school, so even though it was not an arranged “accepted” weekend, he was able to pal around with host friends and others he met at the cafeteria. It reinforced his desire to go there. At another school “sleeping bag weekend” was also helpful, but mostly because he learned he didn’t like the vibe and large size.
What would be today’s equivalent to a Live Journal forum for a school? (Place where you can go to find out what’s going on there and try to get their vibe?)
For our daughter, it meant her number one school falling off the list completely. As a matter of fact, I felt it was so important that I dug back almost ten years and found the following post that I wrote specifically about her overnight visits.
Written 09-24-2005
Very long … my apologies!
We’ve just returned home and boy, have our opinions changed since before DD did these overnights.
Wednesday
We left Wednesday around midday and drove to Conway, Arkansas (~6 hours) for DD to do an overnight at Hendrix College. Although the books all made it sound like a perfect fit, DH and I were secretly hoping she would fall in love more with Rhodes or Centre (what can I say … they’re closer to home). WELL, let me just say that we are ALL sold 100% on Hendrix. WOW!
We had called prior to our scheduled time to let them know that traffic in Little Rock had slowed us down and we would be approximately 30 minutes late. When we arrived, DD’s host had needed to leave for a brief meeting, so a senior male representative, who now feels like a family friend, suggested he help DD carry her belongings to host’s dorm and meet up with her there, but not before we were all invited to sit down and just chat about what type of school DD was looking for. From the moment we arrived on the Hendrix campus, we were made to feel so very comfortable and welcome. DH and I were fully prepared to do nothing more than drop her off and pick her up as was suggested in the “Overnight Visit … What to Expect” thread a few days ago, however they were having none of that. They suggested DH and I return the next morning at 9:30 so we could speak with the admissions counselor, as well as a Hendrix student, while DD attended a class.
The moment DH and I got in the car, we both claimed to know that Hendrix is the school for our daughter. We had both hoped so much that she wouldn’t love it, but we came away loving the school and its people as much as DD did. We went to dinner and then on to the hotel, trying to familiarize ourselves with a town that we feel we may very well see in the future.
Thursday
We arrived at the admissions office at 9:30 as instructed. DD met us there and excitedly spoke of the great fun she’d had at Hendrix so far, but didn’t get to talk too much before being whisked away to class. She chose “Vietnam in the 60’s” - you’d have to know her to know what a perfect class that was for her. She was given a backpack to carry on campus and was encouraged to use the notebook to take notes in class. I thought this was a great idea, as carrying the backpack is supposed to give them more of a sense of belonging. Not only was DD able to read what previous prospective students had written in the notebook, she was able to tell of her own experience for future prospective students.
While DD attended class, DH and I met with the admissions counselor who was wonderful and friendly, and suggested to DH and I that there would be some wonderful scholarship opportunities for DD. The atmosphere was relaxed and friendly and we felt so very comfortable there. We were then introduced to a junior female who couldn’t have had more in common with our daughter. She is majoring in international studies and political science just as DD plans to do and will then go on to law school (just as DD plans). She’s very involved in young Democrats and mock trial (just like DD!). The only thing they didn’t have in common was their height (the other girl has about 6" on DD). When DD returned from class, the student who had been speaking to us introduced herself to DD and advised the admissions counselor she was going to skip a function she’d planned to attend at noon so she could tour the campus and go to lunch with us. She showed us around campus and we all met up with the admissions counselor for lunch. We spoke about campus activities, etc. and we were told that Hendrix has a social committee for the entire student body. They do not have sororities or fraternities, something that was sweet music to DD’s ears. DH and I were both involved in the greek system at our alma mater, but DD really has no interest. We returned to the admissions building and DD had her interview. She then went to another building where she met with one of the professors and spoke about some of their programs, including study abroad. When she returned, we all said our final goodbyes and felt like we were leaving newly-found friends.
As we pulled away, DD couldn’t contain herself and proclaimed that she had found the school for her! She told us of the activities in which she had participated the night before - dinner with several students, taking part in throwing a student in the fountain (a birthday tradition), going to a concert and playing volleyball. She told us that numerous students introduced themselves to her on campus as well as in the classroom and the professors made her feel welcome. She soon fell asleep from exhaustion and we made our way back to Memphis for her overnight at Rhodes. It’s funny because after we passed Memphis on our way to Conway, we talked about how unsightly (sorry, I’m just being honest) the scenery is between Memphis and Conway. Somehow, on the way back, that didn’t seem so noticeable.
(Continued in next post due to content being too long for one post)
(Continued)
Thursday (cont.)
We arrived at the campus of Rhodes. Wow, it’s every bit as gorgeous as we remember it being when we visited last year. The buildings are all architecturally similar, and the stained glass windows are beautiful. We entered the admissions building where we were met by a student working the front desk. He was very kind and advised that DD’s host should be there any moment. He chatted with us for a while and offered to answer any questions we might have. DD’s host arrived very soon thereafter with a friend in tow, and I just had a feeling she wasn’t the right girl for DD to experience an overnight. Both girls were very kind, though, and offered to help DD get her things from the car. I knew when they placed her things in a car that was covered in sorority letters that she might not have the best experience. As DH and I got into our car, we both muttered “uh-oh”. I almost expected a call later asking to be rescued. No rescue needed as her host promptly dropped her off at her place (a townhouse that is campus housing) and left her alone while she went to a sorority sing practice. Fortunately, one of the six girls who lived in the townhouse wasn’t a sorority member and she quickly befriended DD. They went to Sonic and sat around and talked and DD said she had a good time. The next morning, she went to breakfast and then was pointed in the direction of her class (Intro to Political Science). She said no one acknowledged her on the way to class, nor did any of the students speak to her as they came into the classroom. She said the professor rushed in to the room, announced there would be a quiz, and looked at her as though he didn’t recognize her, but didn’t say anything to her. She then went up and introduced herself. He encouraged her to ask or answer any questions during the class time. DD became involved in the discussion and felt good that she knew what they were talking about as they were covering something in class which she had studied in her Government class a couple of weeks ago.
DH and I waited patiently for a call from DD telling us she was ready to go, as we had not been invited by anyone to do otherwise. She had her interview with a lady who was reportedly very nice, and spoke with someone in financial aid for approximately two minutes. We met her in the admissions office where our presence went unnoticed. We were ready to leave, but needed something to do for the next 45 minutes since the townhouse where she stayed is enclosed with a locked gate and her host (the real one who entertained her, not the “official” host whom she saw once) was in class til nearly noon. We decided to visit the new library and it is absolutely gorgeous! After a few minutes there, we walked the campus a bit more and went back to the townhouse. We thanked the girl who had so graciously entertained DD, gathered her things and left the campus.
As we got in the car, DD said it was amazing that the school that had been #1 on her list for so long had suddenly plummeted … off the list period. Her impression of the school itself was preppy, stuffy and unfriendly. I asked her if she felt it was cliquish and she said no, because a clique would infer that only a few people were that way and she had the impression that the majority of students at the school were that way.
I can only say that I am a huge proponent of the overnight visit. She is planning an overnight to Centre next semester. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that it goes well, but I find myself perfectly thrilled in the thought that Hendrix is now #1 on her list.
We hung out in Memphis till today as DD wanted to spend last evening with friends from Memphis whom she had met at Governor’s School this summer. We had a nice time, but DH became ill and we are happy to be home.
By the way, she went to Hendrix and those four years were FABULOUS!!!
@Trisherella Reddit is good for some schools. It depends on the school though. Some are active and others are not. The school newspapers are all online too which can be somewhat informative.