Hi! I am a freshman at a small, private school and I am several hours away from home. I have not made many friends and the friends I did make and talk to in class I don’t really hang out with. I am struggling to find a roommate for next year. I have an opportunity to be a football manager at a big time school nearby and if I get the opportunity to be involved as a sophomore, I will stay at my school (I think). I had roommate problems in the beginning of the year and it set the tone for the rest of the year. Academically I am doing fine, but every day I hate being here and I have a countdown on my phone until the next time I can go home. I have heard many stories about people hating school in the beginning and then loving it later. I don’t want to jump the gun, but at the same time I am not paying this much money to be miserable all the time. Does anyone have any advice?
Where you are trying to transfer to? Define “Academically I am doing fine” and your major. If you have a 3.6+ GPA, I usually tell people to suck it up and keep doing well academically. And how much money you are paying right now?
Don’t do it if its solely based on not having friends issue. What if you have same problem in other schools?
bvo112- I had a 3.85 last semester and I am probably going to have a higher GPA this semester.
paul2752- How should I determine it? I have no idea if I would be in the same friend position at other schools…
@bvo112- I had a 3.85 last semester and I am probably going to have a higher GPA this semester.
@paul2752- How should I determine it? I have no idea if I would be in the same friend position at other schools…
If you are doing well and if you have a scholarship that makes this college cheaper, then I would try to figure out how to stay…as a transfer you will be in the same boat with no friends.
You talk about being a manager of the football team…I assume that is so you can be a part of a group.
can you do that at your current college?
These are general tips for making friends:
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During Orientation, go to as many activities as you can. Ask people in your hall way if they are going. Introduce yourself…they are looking for friends too. “Hey, I am Pat…what are you majoring in?”
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Go to the Activities Fair and sign up for a bunch of clubs that are of interest. They may not all pan out, but don’t eliminate anything yet. If you are into music/D&D/running/church/whatever, you can find other people who are interested too. Service clubs are great because you spend time working together.
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Talk to the people on your floor…Get some cookies and offer them “Hey I have cookies, anyone want some?” and then strike up a conversation about where they are from, what they are majoring in, etc. People like to talk about themselves…let them. Don’t make it too long…move on to others.
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At dinner time, ask your roommate/people on your hall if they are going to dining hall. Go with them. See if people in your dorm generally sit in the same area… Join them.
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Go to any dorm activities your RA has set up. If you are still having issues, talk to your RA. See if they have ideas. If not suggest that they have one. Maybe a movie and pizza?
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Join your dorm’s intramural (or any intramural) team.
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Talk to others in your classes…exchange numbers so that if either of you miss you can exchange notes… Ask what someone got on a homework question (that you did too)…once you get to know them, ask if they want to form a study group.
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If this isn’t working, go to the Counseling Center…they are ready to help freshman this time of year. Don’t think you are a loser because you have to go…this is something you pay for! Get the benefit! You may need to learn some new social skills. They may also have group talks on Homesickness or fitting in.
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Go to ongoing campus activities…concerts/movies/lectures/parties. Invite someone/group of people or just sign up and meet people for activities that might be off campus.
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See if your dorm/floor has a GroupMe Group set up…otherwise suggest to someone who is extraverted that it might be a good idea. Then people can send a group text that they are showing a movie in the lounge or are baking cupcakes in the kitchen.
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Get an on campus job
To anyone reading-- I stuck it out and my situation improved! I made friends and I enjoy my time here, but now I am thinking about transferring to another institution with a better program for my major. Thank you for your help!
Take advantage of the opportunity and apply to transfer and see where you get in. Keep all your options open, and by the time you get some acceptances, time will have gone by and you’ll know better what you want to do. I agree, life is too short to be miserable. Taking risks has its rewards.
Thanks for the update. Glad to hear it worked out for you. My DS wasn’t ready to transfer as a freshman but he is definitely enjoying himself more as a sophomore. He is slow to make friends also.