I’m not sure how rationally the thread title was conceived. You are not paying for college. You aren’t being given one big present you can do anything you want with. And there is a striking difference in the tone of the original thread and this one. Starting with it being your desire, originally, to spend time at Y. Now you say it’s your parents’ preference.
Sorry, it doesn’t sound like clear thinking. What did you expect when you applied?
Is there some other problem clouding your thinking? Some additional info we need to learn that makes this so convoluted? Because it sounds like you’re trying to crowdsource a decision that belongs in the family.
You parents may or may not know better. But they control the money, so they have absolute veto power over college choice, unless you get a full ride merit scholarship.
But then if it is SMU versus much cheaper McGill, your parents’ favoring McGill makes a lot of sense.
And McGill is much less expensive. That’s a good plan.
Even Concordia or excellent equivalent. Same answer.
However you state it’s at the elite level and you mention learning a foreign language day to day but classes are in English. If it’s in China perhaps. France yes. Other countries it would be very School specific. And many countries focus on a major exclusively. So not sure how much free range educational exploration will be occurring as a one year gap plan.
A BIt confused about the classes in English.
However. I think your parents have a sense of the choices and your best interests at heart.
My general answer to your question would be that the student is the best person to choose the eventual school but the parent(s) should be able to set the parameters, e.g. nothing over 20K contribution, among the top 3 acceptances in terms of academic ratings for your major, or nothing outside of 2 hours from home.
My question is why did your parents let you apply to colleges that they ultimately won’t pay for or are too expensive? Were you expecting better financial aid or merit from the college that is your #1?
As a general rule, I think kids need to embrace their college to do well in school and as long as the finances work, we parents need to have faith in our young adults that they know what type of college experience they want and will thrive in. Sometimes we need to let go and stop helicopter parenting.
I thought OP’s original thread phrased abroad as his wish. Not staying in the US. And didn’t mention parental push or any contention with them. I think that’s lost now, with the merge. But see post #1 (after the thread starter) for an idea. But you can see this is confusing.
“529 is not covering foreign school. so penalty and taxes will be difference of 25k yearly”
It we are really talking about McGill, then 529 funds can be used to pay for it. I specifically checked a few years back when D1 applied to McGill. I checked other Canadian schools when D2 applied to schools in Canada.
There is a very long list of schools outside of the US that it is okay to use 529 funds for. This includes every university in Canada that I could think of, plus quite a few other schools outside of the US.
I don’t usually do this, but I am guessing the foreign university is ETH Zurich. STEM focussed, language instruction mostly in English. Learning Swiss-German is not exactly the most useful of foreign languages!
To the general question - do parents know best? Maybe. I suggested schools to my kids, but I did let them make the ultimated decision. My parents strongly suggested to me and my two siblings that we take a gap year learning a foreign language before starting college. It’s not something I would ever have done on my own, as I was a miserable language student in high school. It was a fabulous decision. Not only did I learn to speak French fluently, but it turned out that once I had one language under my belt it was easier to learn other ones, even non-Romance languages. I ended up being able to do research for my senior thesis in France and Germany thanks to that initial push by my parents.
It sounds like OP heard too much Parent Talk and skedaddled.
My take is she grew up in a sheltered academic environment, probably similar to what her parents experienced, and was planning on rolling right into another round of the same, High School 2.0. Her parents knew from their experience that getting out and seeing anything else, anything larger or better, would at least be a start in preparing for a better adulthood and are trying to get her out of her comfort zone for a year before she follows the tracks her peers are laying down.
My advice is talk to school X about taking a sabbatical year after sophomore year. Go to X for two years, then go to Y, see the world, don’t rely on the lame study abroad offerings from X. Chances are good that if you’re there and want to come back you’ll be allowed to take that year off.
Knowing the schools in question helps posters to respond in a more meaningful manner.
For example: If the best schools OP qualified for academically in the US rank in the 100 range, then OP may be overwhelmed with the work demands at a far superior foreign school such as Trinity College in Ireland.
And there are many other reasons to ID the schools that will not be known until the schools are identified.
First, if you attend college outside the US, it’s still college and you CANNOT hide this info. There will be serious consequences when it’s discovered that you lied about your previous enrollment. So forget that idea.
Secondly, I’m confused as to how you were able to get into a really great top tier foreign school with what you describe as mediocre grades when virtually all colleges outside the US base admission on stats. I doubt they simply overlooked your history and theology grades. Those are actual classes, unlike gym and woodshop. So you are saying two AP scores and a 34 ACT got you into a very prestigious world class university. Ok.
Thirdly, yes, your parents are paying and they get a say. A big, huge say. Some parents don’t mind paying a lot of money for their child to party for four years, but it sounds like they aren’t those parents. Apply to some less expensive schools, or go to the foreign school with a great reputation. Plenty of college students have an amazing time in their college years not going to frat parties and football games. Experience THAT amazing time. Frankly, if I was your parent, I would NOT pay for the more expensive school.
If mom and dad are paying for it, then they know better. Argue all you want, but in the end they have the final say. That makes the plan for school X, Y, and Z a meaningless fantasy, unless you win the lottery…after you turn 21.
Parents may know what is a “better” school, but the student knows better about “fit”. Being in the right environment is a big part of being successful in college.
If you really want school X, then convince them. Give them all the reasons why you think X is better for you. You have to take what they said into account, but they will take what you said into account too. “Who has more say” is the wrong way to go about it. If you all talk it out with detailed reasons, I am sure you guys will come to an agreement. And even if you didn’t solidly, one side will feel better about the choice being made even if it wasn’t their initial choice.
But sounded like you have more schools to hear from, so don’t worry about this just yet, but start thinking about pros/cons of X or Y, and maybe visit them to get a better feel, if possible.