Well my son just enrolled in a college that does not provide students with their grades unless they specifically ask for them. So if my own kid doesn’t want to know his grades, I have no right to ask for them.
How did helicopter parents like us ever survive before the advent of online portals!?
@Hoggirl I just don’t talk to my parents much. I’m a lot closer to my grandmother and dad (who isn’t really a parent, seeing as how he didn’t raise me), so I favor my relationship over that with my mother and stepfather.
Now that I mention it, my dad does know what my grades are, because I usually tell him. He can’t access them naturally.
As an instructor, I am a little shocked to hear that a few people can apparently access the class portals as opposed to the general info/grades/registration etc. records (I"m assuming that because someone mentioned only two of the classes were using the site they accessed.) The class portal (Canvas where I teach) is an ongoing, interactive part of the class, which has assignment grades on it, and a lot of other stuff. It never occurred to me that a parent would be monitoring THAT.
This works for a lot of families. But if your kid goes to college far from home and doesn’t bring a car, they get a discount based on distance. No grades required.
^Not in all states.
@turtle0099 - I would just think by the time a child becomes an adult such as yourself, parents would stop being so concerned with grades. You clearly had academic success in college. I can understand them asking in general how you are doing academically, but checking a med school grade portal and making you sign a waiver just seems - idk - disrespectful to me, even if they are footing the bill. Displays a lack of trust/confidence in you. Sorry. I am being judge-y. It’s really not any of my business how your family dynamics work.
@Spaceship - I’m glad you have a relationship with your grandmother and dad. As someone who lost both parents at the age of 24, it just hurts my heart when there is family strife.
I will add that this may be even more true of former straight A students who are finding college to be more challenging than they anticipated.
The guest portal where I pay tuition has access to the grades. But if the grade is going to be lower than an A- I usually hear about it before final grades are posted.
@Marian thats not true. We get two discounts, one for distance and one for good grades.
With DD, she usually kept us in the loop with how a class was going. When the chatter stopped, that was the sign that things were going south/went south. Not much we could do but tell her to get with her advisor, go to the help center, find someone who could give her assistance. She usually did one of those and turned it around. This was like this in high school and in college. We knew her rhythm and what to expect. Had her portal PW and nosed around once or twice in the 4 years. Nothing shocking.
With DS, he doesn’t offer anything unless we ask. This is his way in HS. I have no reason to think that’ll change now. We’ll ask for his PW in the fall (or however they do it). We’ll nose around once or twice at some point. I’ll be shocked if I am shocked.
Both know/knew that we parents have paid for the PW. Even if we (almost) never use it.
(Based on experience with an older sibling, my parents required the physical mailed grades after each semester. No verbal assurances.)
@garland I assumed that people meant the portals with the final grades and all that. I’d be bothered if I knew parents were accessing our Canvas site because that’s for students, not parents. IMO, there is absolutely no reason for a parent to be on the actual course site.
I have access to my daughters portal and sometimes I check, sometimes I don’t. She seems more worried about grades than I. However, my niece’s parents did not ever check her grades (they weren’t really involved in any of the college process) and she failed a class and didn’t tell them. I knew about it and have been working closely with her to stay on top of grades - I have her send me transcripts each semester. I think she appreciates somebody paying attention to how she’s doing.
@romanigypsyeyes, this post sounds like someone seeing the Canvas or similar type site:
I think that’s definitely over intrusive.
^I agree. Completely missed that post.
Hey that’s me ^ and when I get on her portal it lists all her classes and when can select grades and only 2 classes list grades. That’s all I meant, I have no clue what goes on in her classes just checking the grade tab and there is nothing there. Not intrusive at all, its how it has to be done.
^Well, it sounds like you’re checking grades during the semester, not just the final grade. Maybe I’m misunderstanding, but that seems to be what you’re saying.
With DS '17, we don’t check and he has been fairly open. He says he doing “fine” which has always in the past meant “extremely well”. To date, we haven’t seen a “report card”, official transcript or portal print out.
The only grade we used to ask specifically about was his drawing class because it was such a stretch for him. (His college requires an “artistic production” gen-ed.) He took it pass/fail. He reported that he did “fine”. My DD '20 used to make him show his sketchbook each on the skype sessions for fun.
I have helicopter tendencies, but college, for me, was the time to let go.
Let’s see if I can stick to this philosophy when it’s time for GREs/grad school apps. I predict I will give more advice than wanted, some of which he will listen to and some of which he will not.
I just hope everything continues to be “fine”.
I personally do not have to ask. My student likes to share success and challenges, and “crazy professor” stories! I have a pretty good idea of how they are doing and have never checked and have no access to check anyway. But if you have a student that is not applying themselves, partying, gaming and is risking scholarship money and/or at risk of flunking out, I might be on top of it more, IF I am paying for their tuition. No sense in throwing money out the window. So I guess it depends on many factors.