How often do you ask your child about their grades in school? I personally check my daughter’s grades every Sunday and Friday. On Sunday, we use that as part of our school routine. On Friday, we check their grades to see if they can go out with friends.
For me, 4 times a year. 1st quarter, 1st semester, 3rd quarter, and final grade.
High school? Or college?
We didn’t really check grades with our kids in high school. Our schools all have interim marks 1/2 way through each marking period. If a student is at risk of not passing, a teacher is supposed to contact the parent immediately. Otherwise, we got interim marks, and then report cards three times a year.
I didn’t see any reason to check grades…and certainly would not have done so twice a week.
What possibly could change between Friday and Sunday? There isn’t any school!
In college, it was a condition of our payment that the kids share their college grades with us. No sharing and we would not have paid the bill. But we didn’t “check” any more often than that…actually we couldn’t check…ferpa!
Why do you feel,you need to check your student’s grades twice a week?
There are a lot of diverse components to a quarter or semester grade; it is not really helpful to zero in too closely on any small component. If a kid gets a 7/10 on a quiz, it is not 70% C-, it is three wrong answers on a quiz that will help the student do a better job on the bigger later assessments. I think that following a student’s grade too closely leads to unnecessary stress (kids have enough of this) and sends a message that the score, not the learning, is the important part. This can lead to grade grubbing, which can be toxic for a student’s teacher relationships and reputation. It also builds cynicism. Do you want a physician or attorney that only cared about grades? Or one who is interested in and an expert in their field?
Threads like this make me really glad that I was part of that generation just before online grades become ubiquitous.
My parents checked 4 times- every time I got a report. They had better things to do than obsess over my grades (of course, I also never really gave them a reason to worry).
When my daughters were in high school, I checked the older one’s grades frequently, because she often didn’t turn in assignments and if these were caught in time, she could turn in the work and get a grade better than a zero. I rarely if ever checked my younger daughter’s grades. When they were in college, I did not ask what their grades were.
What criteria means that they can’t go out with friends?
I’m with @rosered55. Our Ds were easy - no problems, no reason to check. Our S though… Missing assignments, no name on the paper so it wasn’t credited to him. At this point we wait for Progressbook alerts to come and then ask what happened.
For my senior daughter, never. For my sophomore daughter, at least once a week. While I believe they are equally intelligent, my eldest loves to learn and my youngest loves boys. We check the grades not for rewards or punishments but to keep her on track.
When my kids were in high school, online grades were not available, but they told me what got on every quiz and test, so I had very good idea how they were trending. If they got B and below on few major tests then they were not able to go to their dance studio until they were back on track, but they were never grounded. For my kids not able to dance was a bigger deal than not able to go out.
My kids’ college (they went to the same college) posted some grades online, but not all. I had access to their grades online. For both of them, I checked on their grades the first year to make sure they were on track because I didn’t want surprises. Once I was comfortable they have adjusted to college I stopped checking. Of course my kids knew they had to maintain a minimum GPA (3.0) in order for me to continue paying. No different than if they had a scholarship from a school. In our case it was a parent scholarship.
Just wanted to add, my kids’ high school used to send a note home (or email) if a student were to get below certain grade on a test or missed too many homework.
My parents only check once in a blue moon, but I check them almost daily.
@Pizzagirl , anything below an 85 and they get extra chores to do before going out. Anything below a 75, they don’t get to go out. I set standards high for my kids and that’s why my 12 year old has never had a B in her life.
My daughter (high school senior) has never given me a reason to worry about her grades so I don’t check them except when report cards come out.
I know high standards are a good thing…but really a B here or,there isn’t the end of the world.
85 is a solid B. It sounds like you are expecting all A’s from your kids.
What will happen if your student truly is working hard, is doing her best, and is getting a B? Will,that student have to do extra chores?
I’ll check my D’s grades whenever they ask me to.
At 12, maybe steering or little nudges can help some kids try a bit harder. But it is best if they become self-motivated and start to want to get As (I assume no Bs no <B) and start to begin to have strategies to get there and stay there.
I am lazy, so rarely check. My daughter became self-motivated, did very well, and is doing very well in college too. My son, not quite as motivated, so we have to occasionally set standards.
I check once a week.
They started online grade posting when my 4 kids were in middle and grade school. I set up the login for one of them and checked it once, and that was it about 8 years ago. Never bothered setting up a log in during their high school years. Their HS gpa’s range from 4.2 to 4.6. Doesn’t seem necessary at our house. School is their responsibility and has been since first grade. Had some leeway in kindergarten 
Our school sends an email notification whenever a grade is updated so when I get one I check, but most teachers are very bad about updating the grades. During the first quarter both my kids had teachers that didn’t post a single thing. Grades for those classes were a mystery until they got their report cards. I don’t think any of the teachers posted more than 3 times during the quarter.
Ok…is this why you are so compulsive about checking grades?
Your daughter is TWELVE and in 7th grade. She needs to do her personal best. But planning on premed or nursing in college is a bit…well…premature.
As an FYI…premed can be any major as long as the prerequisite courses for medical school are taken. Medical school acceptances are based on college GPA, and the MCAT score primarily. No one is going to give two hoots,about her grades in middle or,even high school.
Please give your preteen a chance to also be a preteen. Yes, set high standards, but also encourage outside of,school non-academic pursuits.
And make sure your dream about her future is HER dream, and not yours.
It is way too early to be planning a college major, in my opinion…at the age of 12.