Do you have a say for your sons/daughters major for college?

<p>Why is history or dance a less valid major than say engineering?</p>

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When they’re on their own dime if the direction is outside of range of directions that are OK with us.<br>
PG, I don’t think you understand that most of our control was when they were really young: pre-HS. All three are headed to (or trying to) just what they want to do, and it so happens it matches our ideas.
If the kid was truly passionate about, say politics, he should have done enough to secure a merit scholarship or take the risk and get loans and go for a Poly Sci degree. I don’t see any entitlement to money I earned.</p>

<p>Really, don’t people influence their children about their religious beliefs, their political beliefs, the sports teams to follow, etc. Isn’t this considered good and normal? I do little to influence in these areas with an exception regarding one religion. </p>

<p>Don’t have preapproved spouses, but when it happens I’m sure some choices I would like and others not; isn’t this true for most?</p>

<p>Sometimes one of them veers a bit off the planned path: DS decided to bail out after 3 years at a great school because he got what he felt was a once in a blue-moon opportunity at a software startup in CA. Both DW & I felt he would be better off finishing first because we didn’t think this was as hot as he feels, but we’re both fully behind him because in his situation, age 20, no wife/kids, no mortgage, no loans, he can afford to take this kind of “good” risk, and in the worst case spends a lot of 80 hour weeks without a windfall at the end, but a lot of knowledge of angel investors, series AA stocks, the ways of the world etc., and a delayed degree.</p>

<p>We advise, but certainly don’t have veto power. The only thing that we care about is the financial aspect for us. Four years of tuition…that’s what we signed up for.</p>

<p>Pizzagirl, I don’t think that it is a less valid major. I think the concern is how a student plans to support themselves with that major. if my son were to choose dancing major, I would support that all the way. However, I would insist that he do a double major in teaching, accounting, or other major that allows for a sustainable income while he danced his way to the top, and supported him if he were suddenly unable to dance anymore. I would probably do the same with History. If you plan to open a dance studio, then having a background in business would be very helpful, and would look good to banks when you applied for business loans.
Honestly, my son wants to major in CS, and I have been discussing double major and minors with him too. With the current job market, I don’t think that there is enough of a safety net in ANY one career path. It makes sense for everyone to look at secondary degrees to support and elevate their main interest, or to supplement it in the event the job market is slow. It’s just back up, that’s all. Not putting your eggs all in the same basket. Diversify. Whatever you want to call it.</p>

<p>“Not Kudryavka, but an example of the feds controlling the purse to control the actions of individual states would be when they wanted the drinking age lowered. States could set their own age limit, but if they wanted federal money for highway repairs, they had to go with 21.”</p>

<p>Great example that sounds like a choice to me.Not well informed in government stuff, but isn’t the federal government called upon to take care of states at times, some states more than others, or are they all " let go" and independant financially?</p>

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<p>From early childhood we have tried to instill our values of critical thinking in our child. This means we can always state our opinions about religion, politics, sports, and all other topics. But we expect our child to think critically and make her own judgments about such things.</p>

<p>But you could argue we have ‘brainwashed’ our child to adopt our value of critical thinking. I plead guilty.</p>

<p>Parent of music major here…all the way through grad school. He is supporting himself…and is doing his music too. I’m sorry, but I believe his degrees in music are very valuable. I would never have insisted he get a double major in teaching because he didn’t WANT to do that…teachers should WANT to do the job. </p>

<p>Many of these arts majors require a very significant amount of dedication…(not that other majors don’t…but the time requirements for dance or music practice for example are HUGE). </p>

<p>And yes…we paid for it.</p>

<p>We paid for DD’s degrees too…in engineering (she’s the one who will likely never actually BE an engineer…but she has the degree)…and biology. </p>

<p>At this point…DS is earning more money than DD is (DD is in the Peace Corps).</p>

<p>No! Absolutely not! I could not imagine forcing a major on my child!</p>

<p>Thumper, what is your son currently doing, and did he get a double major? Not necessarily teaching, but something else? Is he employed in music/ arts? The arts majors take a HUGE amount of dedication. No doubt. I would never want my son to major in something that he hated, but having a back up plan for job insurance is a good thing. To me, that is the main concern, especially seeing what people have gone through over the past few years. When you are in your 40’s, with a family, you do not have the leisure to return to school on someone elses dime to develop your career if your career for the past 25 years is suddenly gone. You have to take what you can, and many have taken a substantial cut in pay. To have a back up, or at least options while you re-create your career is ideal. I believe that is where everyone is coming from. It is the same reason that a college football player that is expected to go pro is encouraged to get a degree and skills that can support him financially in the event he can not play football anymore.</p>

<p>Like thumper, one of my kids is in performing arts and in no way would I insist on a double major. She was in a specialized degree program that was intense. And since graduating she is making her way in her field and every single job she has done has been in her field. But even if it wasn’t, she’d still have a college degree. I don’t think a college major necessarily dictates the only areas you can get a job in. Many people in the work force are working at jobs that are not directly related to their college major. </p>

<p>I paid for and sent my kids to college and grad school to become educated. Obviously an education puts them in position for careers. But they didn’t go to college simply to obtain a career. The tuition was worth it to me to become educated. </p>

<p>In any case, I do not think someone in the arts has to have a back up second major or minor. A degree in an arts field still prepares someone for many jobs. My daughter is working in several facets of her field. She doesn’t need a back up field. But even so, she has a degree. </p>

<p>I truly think that the kid needs to pick their own interests to pursue as it involves years of study, not to mention years of a career. </p>

<p>In the case of my performing arts kid, there was never any discussion as to what she’d pursue in college. Her field is part of her person. It cannot be separated. It is who she is. Anyone who knows her, going back to preschool, could have said what she’d major in. It has never wavered. It was a given for years.</p>

<p>Yes, you have to know your child, too My d would be fine as a barefoot journalist living with five others in a basement in Chelsea. Unless my son changes a lot in the next few years, there is no way he is passionate enough about anything to make that sacrifice in life style. He is passionate about lifestyle!</p>

<p>Going back to preschool he could tell you how many stars a hotel had…ok, not preschool…</p>

<p>vlines, I cross posted with you and while I am not thumper, my kid is also in performing arts. Her so called “back up jobs” or what are often called “survival jobs” are ALSO within her field. So, even her non-performance work is in music and theater.</p>

<p>"one of those easy majors like psychology, sociology, gender studies "</p>

<p>Ok. Easy for me as I loved it. My snarky ex husband with an EE undergrad and a masters of engineering mgmt used to make fun of it in our late 20s. 25 years later he’s been laid off innumerable times , has no savings and is always professionally seeking. And my bodunk easy degree landed me security , an upper middle class income, and I’m the one paying full freight for DS’s highly ranked LAC. </p>

<p>Where he just might major in psychology. But definitely not engineering. ;-)</p>

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<p>He did NOT have a double major…his major was music performance. He is a performing musician in a brass quintet, does freelance playing where he lives, has a couple of private students, and works at a dynamite restaurant (where he also books their entertainment). </p>

<p>My son has never been high maintenance financially (no need for fancy clothes, cars, entertainment etc). He lives comfortably where he has relocated. </p>

<p>Bottom line…he’s supporting himself, and he is happy. Priceless.</p>

<p>ProudMom, Psychology is really a great major. If I were to (vicariously) choose a major for my D today I might even choose psychology! But it turns out she has a passion for English, another ‘easy’ major.</p>

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<p>Absolutely not. But if they chose those majors because they thought they were the ticket to a good job right out of college, they got what they deserved. If they were forced into those majors by mommy’s and daddy’s control of the pursestrings, they have my genuine sympathy.</p>

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<p>Curious to know how you know those are “easy majors” - have you completed majors in all of them?</p>

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<p>Influence, perhaps; but control, never.</p>

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<p>I consider it a major achievement of my parenting (and that of XW1 and DW2) that I can say the same thing about DD91/95 (happily married librarian) and that DD12 seems to be headed in the same direction. DS14, however, looks like he’s going to be a tougher case …</p>

<p>You know - I went to a university that has well-known theater and music schools. And guess what, my friends who attended those schools all found jobs. Really. No one’s homeless. They’re doing what they want to do. Some have achieved success in Hollywood or on Broadway. Some are private music teachers. Some are producers who have leveraged their theater background. Some are lawyers (theater’s a good prep for a lawyer who does courtroom work). One started a troupe designed to bring theater to autistic children. Another runs a yoga studio and leverages her theater background. Really, people live. They may not earn a million bazillion dollars, but so what. Money isn’t the meaning of life.</p>