Do you have "Decision Remorse?"

<p>My daughter got in to her top choice. She also go in to their fellows program with merit aid. She was over-the-moon. However, a nearby, more well known school gave her a much more generous financial aid package. She likes school #2, but LOVES school #1. Unfortunately for us, finances play a huge role in our final decisions. I am hopeful that it all works out.</p>

<p>My d is having a hard time. The reality of going to a school we can afford vs one she has longed to go to. BC was her top choice with little aid provided. We will not let her take on the 20k debt a year to go</p>

<p>I found kids posting in this thread highly mature, especially the ones with uneasy feelings after picking one out of many good options. I’m in my 40’s, in finance for 15+ years. What I’ve learned, and any survivors in this tough business too, is that there is hardly any “100% sure thing”, there are only “better” decisions one hopes to make given pros/cons, risk/reward perceived at given time. People who deal with this"unease" “uncertainty” feeling and move on to next with open mind, will get to have long successful professional life. It’s probably applicable to personal life as well.</p>

<p>I ultimately chose Cornell over Brown, UPenn, Northwestern, Georgetown, Notre Dame, and USC. Brown was just too liberal for me. Georgetown felt too tightly-packed on campus with almost no green space. Notre Dame I eliminated because I did not want to fly to school (I live in New York close to NYC). USC was a little to large for me. The hardest two to eliminate were UPenn and Northwestern. I felt as if both were some of the best schools I had gotten into. However, Northwestern required flying and UPenn seemed too urban. Hope I made the right choice!</p>

<p>-ctmom3 - Your situation sounds very similar to ours. </p>

<p>My daughter has made her choice, and has chosen the higher ranked, better known school which offered a more practical alternative, and a better deal, i.e., more money, less debt! We gave her the option of going to her top choice, assuring her she should not worry about the money, that her decision should be based on all other aspects. Trust me, she has wanted her #1 school for a year, and was heartbroken when the bottom line revealed it’s ugly head.</p>

<p>I believe she knows that the extra expense would strap us, and she is not willing to straddle herself with additional debt. She already knows she wants to (needs to) go on to Grad school and will have even more debt after that adventure.</p>

<p>Perhaps the lessons our kids are learning regarding making choices based on things other than Feel-Good, “I always wanted to go to…” “name brand” yadda-yadda are invaluable…at least, that is what I am hoping…it makes me feel less guilty :)</p>

<p>Kind of interesting results so far. About two thirds of the responders are confident in their choice, but a third are either having second thoughts, or, with a few days to go, haven’t decided yet. The last group will no doubt have some summer second thoughts, too, if the decision is that tough.</p>

<p>I have uncertainty, some nervousness, but not remorse. I ended up picking Amherst over Wellesley and Cornell, partially due to the zero loan factor, but also because I had to pick one at some point. I figure I’ll make it work out anywhere, heck, I’ll flourish. Most of you guys will do very well anywhere: college is what you make of it, so I’m told. You’ll make friends, you will learn, you’ll grow. Honestly I would have had nervousness and uncertainty no matter which one I picked. This afternoon when I dropped the deposit into the mailbox I felt a sense of finality, but in a good way. I’m so happy this insanely emotionally and mentally exhausting process is over and I can’t wait to see what comes next. Don’t look back.</p>

<p>My daughter received several great scholarships from colleges. Unfortunately she choose the Out-of-State school that has offered very little assistance. I believe she will regret her decision when she has to repay these large student loans.</p>

<p>Crayonwax, I agree with you so much. I believe that students will flourish & do well anywhere & I wished my child felt this way. College is what you make it. Good Luck.</p>

<p>Response to Ballerinawriter Re Waitlisted at Notre Dame and going to community College - Do really well at your community college and you’ll set yourself up as a strong transfer candidate. You almost made it into Notre Dame the first time, so a high college GPA and the ability to articulate your goals are your keys for next time. Fall 2011, the school admitted 40% of transfer applicants. School accepts transfers for fall or spring.</p>

<p>Son was at peace with his choice and considering his fall term schedule when ‘dream school’ called and offered a spot off the waitlist. Dream school is not necessarily more prestigious, but it is a small LAC vs. the large state flagship. Now all is stress and upheaval. I despise the wait list process and what it does to families. Dream school has no aid to offer, which wouldn’t have been as much an issue if they had accepted him outright. Now it feels as though he is a second class citizen (at least to me) and is being admitted primarily because of his ability to pay full freight. At least the misery will only last a few days, as the offer expires at the end of the week.</p>

<p>My decision came down to UC Davis and UCSD, and I chose Davis. I’m not regretting that decision one bit. While Davis was originally one of my backup match schools that I applied to as an afterthought, I fell in love with it when I visited and knew that I would be going there no matter what other schools accepted me. I’ve since been on the campus twice over the past couple months, and every time I’m on the campus I feel more and more that I made the right decision. I guess it just goes to show the importance of visiting the schools you’re applying to.</p>

<p>Hey PhantomVirgo, I ended up choosing Davis also, but not with the same amount of happiness as you.</p>

<p>I was accepted into my dream school and many other highly ranked schools, but some didn’t offer money. My family refused to pay more than what a UC costs, understandable, which left me with fewer options. Then they prohibited me from attending school on the East Coast, a hard blow to me.</p>

<p>In the end (yesterday night) I chose Davis over schools such as Brandeis, Scripps, and Mount Holyoke. Davis was the cheapest school that had the exact major I wanted. For me it came down to education. Location or vibe doesn’t matter if I’m not receiving the exact type of education that I want.</p>

<p>It will take some time for me to be happy with my decision, but I know it will be for the best.</p>

<p>When I finally made my decision on May 1st, I was both excited and remorseful. That lasted through my first semester, and even though I wasn’t unhappy (and was indeed very happy for a lot of the time), the idea of transferring did cross my mind. It’s a grass is always greener kind of thing.</p>

<p>Personally, I’m just a terrible decision-maker, and the idea of turning any opportunity down freaks me out. But ultimately I think I’m in the right place for me, for objective and emotional reasons. And even on days when I wish I wish in a city and not suburban NJ, even on days when I wish my peers weren’t such “doers,” the reasons I chose the school still let me realize it’s where I should be.</p>

<p>That’s why I think fit is such a tricky thing. Yes, you want to be in love with the school – but you also want smart, solid reasons to fall back on on those days you aren’t head over hells in love.</p>

<p>Unfortunately I regret my decision. I’m going to Davis and honestly I’m in love with it. But everytime I think about my top choice I think I won’t be happy at all anywhere but there, but at UW it would have been 43k and Davis is only 10k (which is still a stretch). I’m hoping this feeling will go away as school gets closer</p>

<p>Absolutely no remorse (kinda).
waitlisted 3 places,
rejected 4 places
left with two safeties, one a local overly-glorified state school, and our flagship, Umass Amherst (honors college), which is known by my peers as a 24/7 club with its world famous non-stop parties.</p>

<p>I don’t listen to them. I know better. Online academic rankings, reviews, and my visit, have revealed to me that it’s decent like any big, well funded flagship. My source of remorse is not falling in love with it the way I fell in love with every school that rejected me.</p>

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<p>Interestingly, everything I’ve seen points to the opposite: The happiest kids are those at their dream schools. (I can’t find the study at the moment but I’ll look for it later today.) </p>

<p>It kind of makes sense to me, because you’re unlikely to realize that other schools could have been as good or better for you than the one you attend. The problem with kids who apply to a range of top schools and have a “let’s see where I get in” attitude is that they have no clear front-runner come April 1st. This means pro/con lists come out pretty evenly balanced (or at least they did for me).</p>

<p>@Teenmom55</p>

<p>I’m sorry the WL process had sour’d this whole acceptance process for you. It must be tough to aussume you’re going to be paying full freight, then very little and then back to full freight. I’m going to assume that your son wants the dream school now that it’s back in the picture as you didn’t exactly come right out and confirm it. Also, had you already sent in your son’s deposit? That seems like a double-whammy. Just try to remember that if you’re willing to pay your son’s way that you don’t make him feel as though you’re not happy with his choice as no matter how much he’ll love going there there might be a bit of guilt tainting the experience. Lastly, if you don’t mind disclosing the dream school’s identity I’m sure there are plenty here that will help inform you on whether your money is going to be well-spent or not perhaps it will help you get over the bitterness of the last minute reversal . . .</p>

<p>If you have remorse after a semester there…DO WELL THEN TRANSFER. Thats what my friend did. She ended up at a small and pretty boring private school for a year. But the next year she applied to Vanderbilt and now attends Vanderbilt. She got a 4.0 both semesters that she was at the boring school. She now love Vanderbilt and is super happy about it.</p>

<p>@glassesarechic - That’s me too! I can’t make such important decisions. For the entire college search process, I was considering so many colleges, and its hard to choose one. This even though I was really only choosing between two colleges. I’m very happy with my decision, but I know the other choice is also a great decision, and it was hard to let that go. I was kinda sad after I denied that acceptance.</p>