Since I get his W-2 for tax purposes…I know exactly what he makes.
Yes, knew how much my parents made from a young age. And I remember the day my mom drove to the credit union and made the final mortgage payment on our childhood house and she was so excited.
Parents (teachers) didn’t make much. They always discussed finances I think so that we’d be mindful of financial responsibility and choices and consequences.
Interestingly, now my mom (dad passed last year) still acts curious as to the specific state of our finances (we are comfortable) but I’m not comfortable letting her know how much we have, etc. (This dynamic is likely bc I have a sibling who I keep very healthy boundaries with bc of his irresponsible approach to life. My mom would likely let it “slip” how we are doing to him or to her sister, etc.)
ETA: Out kids know we are comfortable and that we save a significant amount of money but they do not know specific annual income or extent of savings. But they do know the value we place on saving and that we could purchase more but don’t and nor should they with their money.
I didn’t know exactly how much my mom made but I knew we were pretty “poor.” Single parent household and she was a waitress - couldn’t afford to be out of a job for long.
As an adult she put me on her bank accounts and I knew things like how much she (and her sister) made from the sale of their home. They saved a lot given they were both waitresses and didn’t invest in the market at all. (Then another sister spent it all…)
My parents were very private about finances matters. And we were the same. For a young kid (without understanding of expenses, savings etc), a gross salary can sounds really big…. hard to understand some of the parent budget mandates.
Our kids were pretty open about their job offers out of college, so we knew their starting salary. After that, it’s their business. But in general they don’t share much detail about their lives, so not surprised to not hear about financial info.
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I know how much my kids & son in law make because they talk to me about finances. H has no clue what they make, because it never comes up in conversations they have with him. The kids ask my opinion about starting salary, 401k savings, benefits, investments. I never ask … I just answer questions that they have related to finances. Is this a decent salary? What do you think about me leaving my current job to take this job? What do you think of this benefits package? How much should I be saving? Can I realistically afford this rent/this mortgage? As time goes on, they are more comfortable with finances & ask fewer questions, so I assume that I will know less going forward.
We’ve never discussed our finances in depth with our kids because it honestly has never been a conversation that has come up. My S knows that he makes more than I ever made, but that’s not saying a whole lot. The kids are aware that we went through periods when our bank account was really low, because I talk about it when I encourage savings if they tell me that they have received a bonus, raise or overtime. We are retired, and I have told them that we have enough savings that they shouldn’t have to worry about taking care of us in our old age - they haven’t asked for details, so I guess they trust me.
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My brothers now know my parents’ finances—one younger brother was entrusted with mom’s assets because she wanted him to invest them (she didn’t trust dad because he was day trading and I’d great at losing money). That brother is excellent at managing his and getting $$$.
My older brother was helping dad with his $$$ and is silent on assets, what he’s doing with them, how much there is, if we will have to help chip in, etc. Dad died a nearly 2 years ago and older brother who is executor has never revealed anything. At this point I have no idea if he ever will (I have my doubts). I don’t know if he has managed to keep assets separated or somehow commingled them or what. In any case my younger brother has managed to grow mom’s assets so they should likely be a ouch to help her have the care she needs and deserves as she requires increasing care.
Yes, we have always been big on the message, “Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should,” regarding spending money. Other things as well.
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Okay, this sounds exactly like our family dynamic. I was starting to feel very odd.
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My H was in charge of his family’s finances so he knew what they were. He’d throw his salary into the pot to help pay the bills and consequently had a tough time saving (his folks had modest earnings and savings). They did own their own home and were able to pay off their mortgage.
I never knew exactly what my parents made, but I had a vague knowledge. Still do. They drop hints here and there, but I’ve never seen it all laid out.
Yes, I know what our S23 makes. But more broadly as the manager of a lot of people, yes “this generation” is more likely to share those details, not just with their friends and relatives but with their colleagues.
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Yes, my brother & I knew exactly (to the penny) what our single mom made. She was a waitress in a deli. At the end of her shift our job was to stack and roll her coins. On Friday, whatever didn’t get rolled up he & I could use to go to fast food and get dinner (don’t tell anyone but occasionally we’d skim an extra quarter out of a roll). Our favorite destinations were Pup & Taco (10 tacos for $1!) and A&W (if it was a good day and we were flush! And that extra quarter would be used to share a root beer float!). We never had a car growing up, and we lived in apartments. We didn’t have a lot of “extras” so our mom thought it was important to know why.
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Nope. Still know nothing of their finances other than they have assured me I’ll never have to worry about them being a financial burden to me.
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Our 20-something kids share their income info with us – mostly because they are thrilled to be succeeding in their careers and proud to share their news with us.
When they were growing up, we didn’t talk finances in detail with them, just a general “that’s beyond our budget” kind of thing. Once we were looking at college searches together, we were upfront about our income, what we had saved, and what the financial parameters were in their search. Post-college, the 24 year old already makes more than I do and will make more than my professor spouse and I combined probably in a year or two. The older one initially worked in low-paying public interest jobs, with periods of no income between jobs, but is now in law school and will earn more than our combined income his first year out of school.
Growing up, I knew our finances to the dollar because my mother was raising us alone and paying the bills each month was a challenge. I had no hesitation talking money because it dominated every decision in our lives.
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Yes an I don’t do their taxes any more.
I knew my dad’s salary but had no idea about their investment income. We were shocked when my dad died how much they had amassed.
We have zero idea how much my inlaws have and FIL would never disclose.
My FIL showed me his tax returns and kept me abreast of his investments, because he wanted me to know everything when he passed. My MIL apparently was not on board, because after he passed, as I tried to help her understand what income she would have to work with, she told me to mind my own business. I was shocked, but I immediately bowed out. She now has her son in law, who has never been able to handle his own finances, helping her. Go figure!
I knew that some things had occurred after my parents retired that negatively affected their finances, but I was surprised to see how little my dad had when he died. He would have been too proud to admit the difficulty if he lived much longer. Sometimes I wonder if his worries were a contributing factor to his decline in health at the end of his life. In that case, I wish I had known so that I could have assured him that we would always be there for him if he needed a place to live.
We were happily surprised to learn how much H’s sister had saved and invested in her years as a dentist. She had traveled the world extensively and led a pretty full but not lavish life. She left a very nice nest egg for her two surviving brothers to share (as she was single and their parents died decades ago).
Her legacy has helped ensure we will be able to provide for D comfortably if she remains disabled due to her long-standing chronic medical issues, as well as continuing to travel and be comfortable as we age.
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I know how much my kids make. DD knows how much her friends make. Young people share this information these days. Don’t know if that is good or bad .
Yes, I know how much money my 25yo daughter makes. She often seeks my advice about investments, salary negotiations, etc. She also knows how much money all of her friends make. This generation is much more open about finances.
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