Sharing: My D got into Notre Dame!
Bragging: My D got into Notre Dame with a $25,000 merit scholarship!
Block-worthy Bragging: My D got a full ride to Notre Dame! (2x if you don’t need the $)
@byadg123 I think the best is “My D got into Notre Dame with enough money that it’s affordable!” is a decent sharing. But like Deepblue said, it really depends on the social norms of your group.
The kids in my neighborhood rarely look higher than community college. Local kids need to know that it’s possible. Many of them don’t reach high enough, they are happy to get the tuition discount at Towson and don’t realize that with their scores they could probably get full rides elsewhere if they applied, and that a lot of places waive application fees. It boils my blood to see kids with perfect 4.0 in AP classes and brilliant acting credits settle for community college because they didn’t have the confidence to apply anywhere else.
I got into all the colleges I applied to except for one. I posted most of my acceptances but for the sake of honesty, I also posted about my rejection.
@DeepBlue86 nailed it.
The majority of my FB friends are not attached to my school. Aunt Bertha doesn’t know how many go to Princeton and Old College Roomie doesn’t even know the name of our HS.
i just scrolled back through a few dozen notifications and the only ones attached to the school were the principal and director, both of whom we’re friendly with. When I posted acceptances, both of them responded with cheers and hearts.
My life and facebook feeds are not all about college apps.
This is being talked about as if parents in this instagram/facebook age have any choice. Its nice to consider sensitivities and sensibilities as DeepBlue suggested and not post anything (especially with good result). But as a parent who had just gone thru an EA cycle I can tell you that its not unusual to get a dozen text/phone/social media inquiries from other parents within the first few hours of EA decision. I never thought people were this nosy! but I took it that they probably meant well. I concluded one day after my kids EA result I had no choice but to announce it in the social media because people were already finding out thru other means like admitted students FB groups anyway. Rather than being evasive I thought its better to be upfront with my friends, many of whom have kids going to the same school. IMO, its not a matter of whether to post the news it is more of how you do it in a manner that it won’t come across as insensitive.
As we are supposed to be addressing adults posting on SM - As a parent, how many “kids” do you have following you on FB? I do not post my kids acceptances on social media such as, Twitter, Insta, Snap etc and I do not have my kids’ peers as FB friends, that is weird. The only way another kid Is going to see/find out what I post about on FB is if their parent sees it and says something to their own kid. Why would a parent tell their own kid “Suzy Q got in to Princeton” when their own kid is still waiting on a decision or has been rejected, that seems cruel.
Labegg, yes the original post did ask if parents post on SM. I think this thread can be summed up in a few points:
- You can post whatever you want on your own page. Your ‘friend’ list will judge you be it good or bad
- Posting your kid’s college acceptance is a personal thing but even if a parent chooses to do it I’m sure said parent is posting it in a way that’s not inappropriate but joyful. If a parent thinks the post comes across as ‘braggy’ see #3
- Parents who see #2 scenario should just scroll past these posts if the post will bother you or just stay off SM until early decision/action round is over
- Kids are not on Facebook so it’s really a moot point as I’m assuming the OP is referring to FB. See post #398—kids tell one another anyway about their acceptances, it happens via group chats, Snapchat, IG and Twitter
- The real issue here (let’s be honest) is how parents react when other parents post their kid’s acceptances. If you, as a parent, find out don’t tell your kid if you think s/he will be hurt. I’m still of the opinion that kids need to able to hear stuff like this and be able to emotionally handle it (yes, even if it’s their dream school)...it’s college acceptance news for goodness sake, not news about a death in the family!
OP’er here. What an interesting discussion! I initially asked the question after DH and I were talking about it and I was curious what others did. It’s become an education in social, cultural, and geographical norms. Really good points with lots of nuances.
“ If you, as a parent, find out don’t tell your kid if you think s/he will be hurt. I’m still of the opinion that kids need to able to hear stuff like this and be able to emotionally handle it ”
I think kids are a lot more resilient than we give them credit for. I’m absolutely guilty of wanting to protect them from what they’re capable of handling. Kids are tough.
I still don’t see it as much about hurting feelings as about bragging. Just yesterday, a friend posted on FB all of her DDs acceptances and asking for “opinions” on which school she should go to. I don’t really buy that anyone would make a college choice based on FB friends’ “opinions” and see it more as just brag about all the schools she got acceptances to, which were, BTW, all very “safe” schools for this student. She’s still waiting to hear from her more competitive ones. She’s apparently doing another round of applications at this time, which I honestly feel is just to rack up the acceptances so that she can then brag about the final number of them. This is the stuff I find obnoxious.
“This is being talked about as if parents in this instagram/facebook age have any choice.”
If the plan is still up in the air, I’d go with, “She’s still weighing her options.” The only way people would even know that the student applied early anywhere is because someone in the family told them. No one who isn’t paying the tuition is entitled to this information.
If she isn’t weighing her options and has made a final decision to enroll, via ED or otherwise, well, that’s news.
Most of my classmates apply to attend rolling admissions schools nearby, so many of my classmates are already committed to schools and made posts on FB and Instagram. I’ve been posting acceptances on my Snapchat story as that’s mostly close friends, but I’ll post the final decision of Facebook/Instagram. My mom did share the first acceptance I got on Facebook, but that was a rolling admissions school that accepted me in September that many family members attended, so she wanted to let them know.
@g8rmomk8ans - you nailed it.
In the beginning of the search process I did ask if anyone had gone to, or had knowledge of, a couple of specific schools in a distant city. I got some really useful help, including an introduction to a friend’s niece who was a current freshman and met us for dinner after the campus tour. Social media, used appropriately, can be great. Social media, when used by a jerk? Not so much.
Post #407
3. Parents who see #2 scenario should just scroll past these posts if the post will bother you or just stay off SM until early decision/action round is over
I can’t tell you how many posts I’ve seen on my newsfeed of political and social justice nature that I didn’t agree with, found annoying and/or divisive but I either swiped past it or in some cases unfollowed that person. Social media is a free for all for anyone signed up. As long as you know what you sign up for you can always expect posts you won’t like or that bother you. But I do love that option of unfollow, hide or unfriend. And as a yearly to-do thing, I recommend going through your friend list and cleaning it up so you aren’t cluttering your newsfeed with things you don’t care to know from people you really don’t call a friend.
I haven’t read the vast majority. I did post on my facebook. I don’t really have minor “friends” on my page. I posted something like first college acceptance came today. I didn’t post all replies. I saw nothing wrong with it since it isn’t a secret my daughter is a senior and in the midst of college applications.
I did laugh when in person I was talking to another parent of a younger child who asked if we heard anything yet. Another lady who is a grandmother asked if she applied early. I said she did apply to some schools early action but I think this school was rolling admission with a very fast turn around. The lady started arguing that she can’t apply to more than one school. I tried explaining that early decision was binding but there is now an early action that isn’t biding at all but she said that wasn’t true.
My sons were accepted into some great schools. As a parent we were proud but my wife only posted once they decided which school to attend. No need to declare every school they got in to.
I posted the first acceptances since they were both relieved that at least someplace would take them. I suspect that my next post will be after they’ve accepted somewhere.
From the perspective of a student - my close friends and I have been telling each other which schools we have been accepted to, but haven’t posted anything on social media about it. I’m sure we’ll all post about where we’re going once we decide.
I think its perfectly fine for students as well as parents to do this, but posting about every single acceptance is too obnoxious and can hurt other people who weren’t accepted. It comes off as very annoying. My parents don’t have social media so I don’t have this issue lol
Funny anecdote, but not about acceptances - my friend scored well on her SAT, leading her parents to post her exact score as well as a score breakdown for each section on Facebook . . . . . 8-| she then sent my friends and I a screenshot of the post, saying how much she loved her parents . . . lol It was definitely an attempt to brag about the score and I found it very distasteful that her parents would post something like that.
I was at the school last night for a play and I saw that our school not only announces acceptances, they have a huge bulletin board in the front hallway with pictures of kids and the schools they’ve been accepted to. There are depressingly few pictures up on anything but the state directionals. It’s a graduating class of about 400, there were maybe 40 pictures for the directionals and 30 pictures for other schools. Some kids had multiples, so fewer than 70 kids have acceptances anywhere as of yet.
Now, maybe this is voluntary and some kids just aren’t sharing their acceptances? I don’t know. I’ll ask the GC when I see her tomorrow (talking senior year schedule already! wow)
But anyhow, since wherever my kid gets accepted is going to be plastered all over the physical bulletin board at school I feel less worried about sharing acceptances on electronic bulletin boards.