Do you treat girls differently?

Student Lounge College Life
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<p>sigh.....yes there are many things that women and men have in common. in fact there are many things other animals and humans have in common. that will never make them equal though. men and women are not equal just because they have some similar features. genetically speaking each does things differently and may be able to do things that the other can't. men and women do think differently. there are some men that are smarter than most women but there are some women that are smarter than most men. it works both ways. it doesn't just end there. women can become pregnant, men can't. the way women and men urinate is different. your average man has different facial features than your average woman. there are many things different in men and women. that doesn't mean they should all get equal opportunities to succeed in life which is what most women nowadays fight for (this was also the point of my previous post and you seemed to completely have missed it).</p>

<p>if you want to believe for a second women and men are equal fine, I'd like to hear how they are equal. Two objects are or aren't equal it's that simple. There can't be any differences because then that would make the two objects different and not equal. If both objects are identical then they are equal. Prove to me where this is the case in men/women, and in your case their ability to think (intelligence).</p>

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<p>Wow, you got it EXACTLY right! However, I'm not really saying that "different is the same," I'm saying that "the same does not necessarily mean equal." </p>

<p>Here's an example of what you have currently: "I, a woman, will not only tolerate but in fact encourage men to make misogynist comments around me because they make the same comments around men." How does that make men and women equal?</p>

<p>As for "some jokes language are simply not acceptable," yes, I do believe they're not acceptable anywhere. I'm simply saying, perhaps men know they're unacceptable, and that's why they feel guilty using them around women.</p>

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<p>There's a great scene in the novel A Wrinkle in Time where the protagonist is being shown this crazy dystopia where everyone is the same and does the same things at the same time. When she expresses her horror, she is told something along the lines of "But don't you see? Here, everybody's equal." And she responds, "Like and equal are not the same at all!"</p>

<p>Her sense of "equal" (which is not the same as, say, the mathematical sense) is, I think, the applicable sense of "equal" here. Are men and women alike? No. For that matter, are any two men or any two women alike? Again, no.</p>

<p>I'm a fan of Southern politeness but have never believed that it should only be practiced by guys toward girls - I'm female and I hold doors for both guys and girls all the time. And I try to speak to people of any sort with basic civility. It's polite.</p>

<p>I don't mind if people cuss around me. I cuss pretty often myself. I don't want to hear fart jokes or misogynistic crap - that's not because I'm female, it's because I don't like fart jokes, and if I wanted to hear them, I'd go talk to my eight year-old brother. I don't think the problem is that guys are too civil to girls, I think it's that they aren't civil enough to other guys.</p>

<p>Really, once you get to know and like someone, it makes more sense to treat them according to their individual standards anyway. I have a friend who, if a guy <em>that she's good friends with</em> playfully slaps her butt as she walks by, will giggle and try to tickle the guy or something like that. So some of our close guy friends will do that occasionally. To her. They know me, and they know that if they did that to me, even in fun, I might turn around and hit them, and at the very least I'd be ****ed off and not react in fun. So they don't do that. They are treating us as individual human beings, and this pleases me.</p>

<p>Of course, with strangers you don't know what their individual standards are. In that case I think that the default standard should be "polite and respectful" regardless of the stranger's sex.</p>

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<p>the weird thing is when a girl is hanging out with a guy, or more specifically a bunch of guys and they start talking about porn and stuff. Then the girl gets embarassed and gets all red and stuff ,,,hahahahaha.</p>

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<p>But, see, what if a girl talked about the intricacies of her menstrual cycle around guys? The door swings both ways.</p>

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<p>Me too. I don't understand why they want equal rights and equal pay but when I try to punch them in the face they say "you can't hit a girl."</p>

<p>^ just like you can make say something like whity to a white person but not the n word to a black person.. (although whity might not be a good word choice) but u get my point..</p>

<p>I like guys that treat me "NICER" but not like I'm stupid or too weak or some **** like that XP</p>

<p>And about menstral cycle.. - LOL because girls KNOW that bothers the guys! And it's just natural cycle of life... Porn necessarily isn't your natural cycle of life now is it? (unless u are talking about ur morning watever... uh actually that's not a comfortable subject either)</p>

<p>But I mean it just depends on HOW WELL you know the person. I mean eve nfor guys you are not going to start some fart jokes if you don't know the person well now are you? On the otherhand, if you knew your friend who's a girl for a long time, she's probably used to your fart jokes by now..</p>

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<p>Well, porn is an aid to a natural male....exploit.</p>

<p>So I guess it would be talking about tampons for us...</p>

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<p>I mean some girls look at porn but they don't talk about it now do they? o_O (i guess it's society too though)</p>

<p>i do remember some guys findin gat porn on this one guy's house that i was over @ and laughing my ass off.. HAHAH (it was on the big screen and everything)</p>

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<p>eh, but guys are <em>very</em> open
girls not so much</p>

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<p>^Girls get very open.. in front of girls XP sometimes too open.. hahah;; (one of my friend)</p>

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<p>really? huh, see I'm sheltered. :D</p>

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<p>"Again, I don't see this distinction or any logical reason why a respectable girl would be treated with more respect than a same-mannered guy. Your example doesn't exactly stand in that if a woman were inclined to act proper and lady-like most of the time, the crowd she involves herself with most likely would not be the type to have harsh language in the first place would it? Wouldn't it be logical to say a group of friends at least have certain values or interests that are similar? So if this particular person has an emphasis on etiquette, one would think her friends are the same way."</p>

<p>I understand your logic but the way it works with my friends just doesn't turn out that way. It's probably also different because the majority of my friends go to single-sex schools so obviously the environments at all-girls/all-boys and public schools are completely different.<br>
As far as same-mannered guys... all the guys I know probably use harsh language when they're with their guy friends but they try to refrain from that when they're around me or my girl friends, because we don't talk like that.<br>
The guys also insist on paying if we go out to dinner or w/e. That's just the way it works with us</p>

<p>I don't think it's necessarily an issue of 'respect' but more chivalry.. or something like that lol</p>

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<p>I didn't bother to read every post...but as far as being nicer to girls, I don't see anything wrong with that. </p>

<p>I'm very boyish in a lot of ways, so I act differently around my guy friends (who I go fishing with and can hold my own in any conversation they can come up with) than I do around my girl friends (who aren't girly, but still don't cuss at all, do crude or dry humor, or talk about anything that could be remotely offensive to nuns) as well. </p>

<p>I definitely like when guys treat me a bit special when they're just getting to know me because it shows that they care enough to test the water instead of just saying something awful and hoping for the best. I dunno...sometimes it's just nice to be treated like a girl instead of one of the guys. After a while, though, I want them to just be themselves around me so I can be comfortable being myself around them as well.</p>

<p>Example. When I'm driving with my girl friends in the car, I have to be really careful about what I say when someone does something stupid (like turn in front of me from the wrong effin lane...or try to merge when I'm right beside them...or randomly decide to ignore a stop sign...oy). With my close guy friends in the car, however, I can mutter lines that even George Carlin would be impressed with (and yes, my friends get a real kick out of it when I do this) just as I would when I drive by myself.</p>

<p>I'd still rather a guy (or girl for that matter) not burp and/or fart in front of me...I can joke about it and all, but that's one of those things that just get under my skin.</p>

<p>::edit::</p>

<p>And on the paying for dinner thing. I think it's sweet every once and a while when my guy friends pay for me, and for the first few dates with a guy...but I honestly feel like crap when they won't let ever me pay for stuff. I just don't think it's fair for the guy to pay for everything every time we got out.</p>

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my girl friends (who aren't girly, but still don't cuss at all, do crude or dry humor, or talk about anything that could be remotely offensive to nuns)

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<p>Wow. Your female friends are really different from my female friends. :) And I gather that you don't cuss in front of your female friends. Wow. Different worlds, I guess.</p>

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<p>Yeah, I'm very careful about what I say and how I say it...no cussing, only mildly offensive one-liners, no stories that are too gross, etc </p>

<p>It's only my two closest girl friends that are like that (they're real into the whole church thing)...but when I go out with a group of my girl friends, at least one of them is always part of the group. So yeah. </p>

<p>Oh, the joys of high school friendships. I'm really looking forward to making new friends at college...one of the perks of my school is that I'm the only kid from my HS that's going there...aside from my older brother, anyway.</p>

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<p>"I just wanted to say that the idea of equality is often taken in a literal sense. Men and women are not equal and never will be, that's just because of genetics."</p>

<p>Men and women are EQUAL, but that is not to say that they are not DIFFERENT. I understand things like not punching a girl, since most girls (myself included) can't fight back on an equal level. But things like giving up a bus seat to someone who is perfectly able-bodied are completely unneccessary and I would not expect it from anyone. Thigns like opening doors, not cursing excessively/being sexually explicit, helping someone with luggage/groceries are just common courtesy- but it should go BOTH ways. I appreciate it when someone holds the door for me, but I also make an effort to hold the door for others- male or female.</p>

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<p>I don't know... I certainly wouldn't EXPECT a man to give up his bus seat for me (...I've never been on a public bus, but still lol) but if he did I wouldn't think it was odd, I'd think he was a very nice gentleman. Most of the guys I hang out with would definitely give their seat up and insist the woman sat down.</p>

<p>I would however think it was odd if a complete stranger (who was a woman) helped a man with his luggage, but I'm not sure if you meant strangers or someone you know.</p>

<p>I agree holding the door for someone should go both ways, but probably most men would hold it for those extra few seconds if a woman was there instead of a man</p>

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<p>To clarify, I meant either helping friends/aquaintances with their luggage or those who were less capable. There have been times when guys have helped me with luggage and there have also been times when I have helped others (usually elderly men/women on airplanes, things like that). Also, I know that most men would hold out longer if it were a woman rather than a man- but that doesn't mean that it's necessary...</p>