<p>I don’t mind actual kids, but I can’t stand babies.</p>
<p>You’re misunderstanding. </p>
<p>It’s my fault I wasn’t specific enough. If someone think I’m not going to have kids because women are thought to be stay at home moms and I don’t want to give up my career. I think there’s a faulty though process there. Sure not wanting to give up you’re career is a perfect reason, but not wanting kids because your gender role doesn’t lie in with society’s gender role is what I don’t agree with.
If you believe society’s views/values/beliefs rule your personal life, you shouldn’t hop into a marriage. The marriage will ultimately fail. The only way that marriage will work is if both the husband and wife do what works for them. There’s no arguing with this. </p>
<p>
Don’t know where you’re getting this from. Never said it.</p>
<p>@heather
I see, I see.
Given the makeup of a woman, she’s probs more adept at caring for small children/babies. Just mo. </p>
<p>Anyways, I always find it asinine when two people who are wholly invested in their careers have children only to cast them off on the nearest nanny. lol </p>
<p>Whether it’s the man or woman, SOMEONE needs to stay home. Kids need the attention of their parents or perhaps loving relatives, not someone else entirely… </p>
<p>Do men complain so much about their role? I wonder.</p>
<p>Men generally receive only positive benefits from being male, so I can’t see why. (Yes I know that gender roles are just as constrictive towards men but we live in a patriarchal society…)</p>
<p>I dunno. I’d get pretty tired of having to be the only one supporting my family and when anything goes awry I’m blamed. </p>
<p>To me, women in America especially complain quite a bit. They act as if society expects certain behaviors ONLY of them.</p>
<p>I don’t fancy pregnancy, childbirth and looking after a small child, but they wouldn’t stop me having children. I more don’t want to give up my entire life for someone else (I could still work, but my money and free time would go to the kid) and I don’t want the responsibility. Also overpopulation, I should do my bit for the environment :D</p>
<p>@alexissss but it does…</p>
<p>@alexissss It also goes both ways. When the home life goes awry the women get blamed for it. That’s where the balance that you and halycon were talking about comes in. </p>
<p>And women do complain a lot. It’s probably more noticeable in the US since women have more say here than other countries. In the other countries, you just can’t hear them. ;)</p>
<p>@UK Overpopulation! Yes! That’s why I’m moving to the Midwest 
I sometimes question whether having a crap load of children is really beneficial. I’d feel like I was overpopulating the world!</p>
<p>@uk
Ohhhhhh. </p>
<p>lol K.</p>
<p>@niquii
I understand that…</p>
<p>Yea, given we (modernized countries) don’t really dwell in an agricultural society anymore, having many kids is kinda unnecessary, lol. xD</p>
<p>Yes! I want 2 or 3. </p>
<p>A. Doesn’t matter to me. </p>
<p>B. Yes. </p>
<p>C. Of course.</p>
<p>Women wouldn’t have to “complain” if society was a more equal and just better place. “Complaining” is the only way to bring issues with society up so people recognize them and hopefully work to change them. </p>
<p>…but oh so sorry if that “complaining” bothers you.</p>
<p>Apology accepted. Ty.</p>
<p>:P</p>
<p>@alexissss +1</p>
<p>In other news, I’m bothered by the general idea that everyone should have kids and secretly wants kids. (I get that everyone wants to reproduce because biology, but my desire to avoid 18+ years of hard work surpasses my desire to keep myself in the gene pool.) An adult in RL once asked me if I wanted to have kids when I grew up, and I said “Probably not” and was condescendingly told I will think differently when I’m 30. Hopefully I’ll think differently about many things when I’m 30, but why don’t you say that to the people who say they want 7 kids?</p>
<p>People do say that to people who say they want 7 kids…</p>
<p>I may change my mind later, but for now I don’t think about having kids.</p>
<p>I’m still a kid myself in some ways. lol</p>
<p>Just gotta marry someone who feels the same…</p>
<p>@halycon laziness certainly outdoes biology for me!</p>
<p>“People do say that to people who say they want 7 kids…”</p>
<p>Yeah, 7 was an exaggeration. But people are generally not questioned when they say they want some kids.</p>
<p>Gender roles obviously play a role life. There’s no use denying it.</p>
<p>If a woman wants to be a housewife and a mother, so be it.
If a woman wants to pursue her career independent of a husband or children, so be it.
If a man wants to be a househusband and a dad, so be it.
If a man wants to pursue his career independent of a wife or children, so be it.</p>
<p>In the end, what I think we should realize is that both circumstances are equally useful and that it’s really not up to anyone except the person to decide what (s)he wishes to do. It’s not appropriate for anyone to look down upon a someone based on how to live THEIR life in this situation.</p>
<p>More importantly, we should really try to stop gender roles and stereotyping. Men can be wonderful dads and women can be wonderful moms. Your gender doesn’t predetermine what kind of parent you’ll be. I think the smart people on this thread would know that.</p>
<p>IMO having kids has an effect on the parent who doesn’t stay at home too. I don’t have the same relationship with my dad as I would with a random man on the street just because he works.
I’m confused on what the argument is here. is anyone disagreeing with the fact that the couple can decide who does what for themselves? at least after the first year of birth</p>
<p>This conversation reminded me of a joke:</p>
<p>What do you call a woman that goes black?</p>
<p>A single mother.</p>