My independent freshman daughter has asked us to allow her to live at the beach this summer. She has thrived at college and does not want to come home and “do the same old thing” as highschool. I never returned home after my freshman year either. I actually don’t think many students did when I was in college. I know it is good for her to be confident and independent but I guess I am just unsure. Do your students want to come home???
Considering I live at the beach, I would LOVE to come back home. Alas, priorities and obligations prevent me from doing so. Just thinking about it makes me want to break my lease – free food, completely comfortable with the area, chill environment, no expectations, just chilling with the fam, fishing, and beaching, and just, yes!
I’m sure your daughter will have a lot of fun at the beach this summer, if you guys let her. Group summer houses are a blast when you’re with the right type of people.
No, my D never wanted to come back home. After her freshman year she did a summer abroad program in Italy and after sophomore and junior year she got a research job on campus (pretty well paying, including free housing) and stayed for the summers. My S went to China the summer after his sophomore year and lived and worked in NYC the summer after his junior year. Even in the dark ages when I was in college I lived in NYC the summer before my senior year. Hard to come back home…
It should be fine as long as you retain some veto power over where she will be living and who she will be living with. And hopefully she will get a job to pay for the summer expenses.
IMO, if students want to stay away for the summer they should be supporting themselves. That’s just my opinion though.
I did come back in the summers between freshmen/sophomore and sophomore/junior years- though most of the 2nd summer was spent on the other side of the state with my boyfriend. I worked in my home area and helped my parents out with bills. By the later summers, I was in year-round leases and working year-round jobs in my college town. However, I never thought I’d fall into the high school routine. My parents never really had any rules for me so the transition between high school and college was seamless.
Good luck, whatever you decide!
Thank you both. We relented (really didn’t feel like I had much choice haha) because I realize its a great experience. Living in an area with all college students in a group house with 6 girls she has never met. Offered a job working 40 hours. Plans to study abroad next summer and junior year semester so I guess it may as well start now. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and situations. Made me feel better already!
Bless her heart. She has more guts than I do. I truly hope she clicks with them and her whole summer experience is a great one. Have her look into the rules and expectations with the girls before she signs anything.
We vacationed at Cape Cod for years. I’m quite sure that a LOT of the waitstaff and other summer employees were like the OP’s daughter…college students with summer jobs at the beach.
My son actually did a few weeks of work on the Cape one summer as a musician…with free housing near the beach. (The housing was lousy, but the beach was nice).
Oh Niquii77 I would never have the guts either! I am just too picky and living with that many girls with one bathroom is just insane to me! LOL. She just tells me it’s for three months and they will make it work. Has talked to them a lot online and via texting.
Thumper1 that sounds like a great experience!
My heart, @momof3bgb…it just stopped. One. Bathroom. Props to your daughter. Her positive attitude is definitely a plus. =D>
I N S A N E
He likes to come home for a couple of days but all summer??? No.
My daughter got home last night at 8 pm, and by noon today she’s gone to her friend’s house. Next Wednesday she’s off to Disneyland for 6 days, then will be ‘home’ for a week before she’s off to camp for the summer as a counselor. Other daughter’s been home for a week and is bored. She’s looking for a job but many don’t start until June (she’s thinking of day care counselor for the summer camp at the health club). My nephew was going to manage a pizza place at a beach and they were going to work for him, but that deal fell through.
twoinanddone I guess that means they aren’t staying put either! I can’t say I blame them. Too much to explore!
My daughters did various combinations of time at home and time not at home during their summers. I don’t know how they felt about that, but I liked that they got some down time here but also had some other activities. An interesting aspect of their summer experiences was that both did study-abroad programs in the fall of their junior years and both had to get several immunizations the summer before, the scheduling of which proved to be a bit challenging.
I went home all three summers, but the first two I had a job and the last, an internship. My sister never did come home, in fact, spent one summer at the beach. She WAS supporting herself in that job, even saved a bit and learned to fish. My parents didn’t have anything to do with it. She did move back to our hometown, where she still lives, after college. Another sister went to college across the country and never came home either. She still lives in her college city. Whatever works, and it’s different for each kid.
My son is staying in Denver for the summer (we live in Hawaii). He likes it there, and there are better job opportunities, at better pay. The airfare to bring him home would cancel out about 2/3 of the savings from living at home, and tbe pay differential cancels out the rest. And, he likes his computer help desk job a lot more than he liked lifeguarding here, and will also be able to take a class toward his minor.
We’re going to miss him, but he’s found a room to sublet in a house with a couple of grad students who he gets along with, and I’m just glad that he likes his new “home” enough to want to stay. At least we’ll get to see him in August when we go to CO for a family wedding!
We knew D1 was going to move out as soon as she graduated, so we did expect her to come home the first two summers in college. She had everything she needed at home and we very much enjoyed each other’s company, so it wasn’t a hardship for her. Most of her friends from high school and college all came in and out of our area, so it was also a convenient place for her to be.
Last summer, D2 lived at a dorm few miles from home because of her job requirement. This summer she will be living at home for her internship. If she should decide to go to a law school in NYC she will be living at home, which would save her a lot of money. D2 knows she has a good thing going for her because she will have the apartment to herself most of the time because I am working at a nearby city, so would only be home on weekends.
I know most of kids’ friends went home for the summer unless they have an an internship in another city/region.
My S didn’t come home but for a few days. It made sense. He had a good job elsewhere.
If she’s got a job at the beach and is paying her own rent, I’d have no problem with it. I hope they know how to use the plunger and how to call a plumber! My youngest spent part of his freshman year summer in Jordan and neither of my kids spent much of their summers with us after freshman year. It was good for them to learn to be independent.