Does boarding school "ruin" your college experience?

<p>Homeschooling was born, in recent history, out of religious beliefs and fear of outside influences. Often homeschooling is misused as a method of control over one's family (and I do realize that my statements will upset some & that they are not universally true, but I have known dozens of homeschooled families and that is my experience). Historically, homeschooling was a necessity due to farming labor needs , lack of schools & distance to schools.</p>

<p>I'm a senior at a boarding school in California right now, so I thought I'd give my two cents:</p>

<p>I have taken advantage of everything my school has had to offer and have lived as is expected of me. Because I have been living away from home since I was fourteen, I definitely think I will have an easier transition once I get to college. I already manage my own laundry, do my homework and go to my extracurriculars without my parents nagging me, have learned how to deal with homesickness and experienced a freshman 15. I think that because of all of this, when I get to college, I will have no problem with many aspects of college that freshmen often have trouble with. I think that as long as you are a responsible student while you are in boarding school, then you will have an easier transition to college.</p>

<p>Nonetheless, I think that some of my classmates will not have this advantage. Some of them have their laundry sent out and definitely take advantage of not having parents around and do not manage their time well. I think that it is this type of student who will be immature in college once they get there, and will have just as hard a time adjusting as the next person.</p>

<p>Bottom line: If you are mature and take advantage of your boarding school experience, then you will arrive in college with an advantage. If you are immature student while you are attending boarding school, then you will be immature when you are in college.</p>

<p>"I always wondered why a parent would home school their kids, could you explain?"</p>

<p>Because it's fun!</p>

<p>Icy9ff8 mentioned one of the two main reasons for modern homeschooling. And while I would say that ideology (in the not purely "educational sense") is a significant reasons, from personal experience I think it falls FAR short of being the main reason.</p>

<p>The other (generally more sensible, imho) reason is that homeschooling parents feel that their school system simply does not provide enough for their child. I work at a public library whose town has a pretty hefty homeschooled contigent, and there are several reasons why, in no particular order:
1) The recent integration of two school systems has left some elementary school students with hour-long bus rides.
2) Parents don't feel that the school district offers enough opportunities (it's fairly small) - and, to be blunt, it's a pretty wealthy community, so besides personal education, they fork over some more for private tutors that make more of their kid's time.
3) Educational style. For the same reason why some adventurous parents might choose a semi-nearby Montessori school - different emphases, different methods, etc., especially if the child responds better to that.</p>

<p>i think it really comes down to innate ability at the end of the day. it cracks me up when boarding school kids assume, and i've also noticed the same thing with people from places like harvard and the like, that they are smarter than somebody just because that person didn't go to boarding school. i'll concede that the typical kid at philips andover is smarter than the next random guy at bumble**** high, same way that the harvard freshman is probably more intelligent than the u of i one. but there are definitely plenty of exceptions to that rule. it's funny to me that the people who indulge in that rhetoric are very often the ones concurrently getting their ass kicked by john doe from south dakota (amongst many others).</p>

<p>here's a solid piece of advice: assume the worst. assume every single one of your classmates has a 180 iq and pops adderalls by the dozen. don't take anything for granted.</p>

<p>Interesting thread. My daughter attended a residential ballet program all of high school - and is dancing semi professionally. She has been accepted to a very very good college dance program and is seriously considering it. She is a little nervous about going back to dorm life after having lived in an apartment so I have already decided to let her have a single room. She has paid her dues in that regard.</p>

<p>dorms aren't that bad i don't think, but a single is definitely the way to go. the chances of your randomly-assigned roommate being somebody you'd otherwise hang out with are about 1/4 ime.</p>

<p>Ibftw, that greatly depends on the college you plan on attending. For instance, I know that Stanford requires its admitted students to fill out a questionnaire about themselves so as to match personalities. Other schools may or may not do as such.</p>

<p>My daughter wanted a single soooo badly. She was certain she wouldn't like her roommate. She was worried she would be a "girlie cheerleader type". Well, of course there was no chance of a freshman athlete getting a single. All of the freshman athletes are together in the same dorm and there just aren't singles for them. Thank goodness, she immediately hit it off with her roommate. She is a lacrosse player and dislikes the cheerleader type as much as my daughter. They are the best of friends. My older son also lucked out with his bs and college roommates. His bs roommate is still his closest friend and, even though they live on opposite coasts, still visit eachother several times a year. Youngest son....not so lucky in the roommate department. But, he does have several good friends and is busy deciding who he will room with next year.</p>

<p>most colleges do the questionnaire thing. in my experience, it really doesn't work. the chances of getting the roommate from hell are unlikely, most likely you'll at least be able to tolerate them but all the same it's better to live by yourself, keep your own schedule and whatnot. i've done both the single thing and the roommate thing for a number of years each, and a single is better.</p>

<p>From lbftw's above post:</p>

<p>
[quote]
in my experience...

[/quote]
</p>

<p>^ Just an important point to emphasize re: your highly debatable claims. To elaborate would be getting away from the point of this thread, and has already been done many times in the College Life forum.</p>

<p>Matching with your roommate . . . whoever said your roommate is supposed to be your best friend in college? I can understand you needing a certain level of compatability and tolerance, but expecting a questionnaire to give you an instant best friend? Get real.</p>

<p>By the way, I had two different roommates in college. One very much different than I; however, we tolerated each other and got to know each other pretty well throughout the year. My second roommate was a great match except for temperature of the room (she was always cold, and I'm always hot). We ended up rooming for two years together by choice--although I would not have considered her my "best friend."</p>

<p>Actually, for my younger son, I am glad that he and his roommate are not friends. That way, there is no chatting or fooling around during study hall. They are not enemies, they just have absolutely nothing in common and the roommate has to be the quietest young man I have ever meant. A polite "hello" is all you'll ever get. My son says he doesn't even know him.</p>

<p>OP</p>

<p>FWIW</p>

<p>My experience some almost 30 years ago was quite the opposite.
It was boarding school kids who were "immature" and "acting out" and seemed to be experiencing "freedom" for the first time.</p>

<p>Then again, the drinking age was 18 so the public school (and NYC private school) kids had "been there, done that" while still in high school.</p>

<p>Wow, we really seem to be all over the map here. My personal experience, also from 30 years ago, was that having previously gone to BS for four years I found the transition very easy. Used to living in dorms, getting along with roomates, having to organize myself for classes, being away from home, etc. I saw many of my classmates struggle with these issues. My freshman year roomate was like a fish out of water. School was about 2 hours from where he lived, and Spring term he selected his classes primarily so that he had both Fridays and Mondays off. Ended up going home every weekend and hanging out with his high old school buddies. Nearly flunked out of school, although he was a bright kid. Admittedly, he was an extreme case, but I saw a lot of kids who had trouble with the transition.</p>

<p>Not saying I was smarter, or even more mature than my classmates, just that the fact that I had already been living away from home for 4 years made a big difference. However, it appears that others had a different experience.</p>

<p>I personally am an example of that. I went to a public high school and graduated 7th in a class of 300. I attend a highly selective LAC, and boy did I struggle. Almost flunked out. I partied like a fiend (such a goody two shoes in hs). It was awful....drinking age was 18 and I was at a Jesuit school with priests who partied. It also seemed that all of the coursework was a lot more difficult than what I had been prepared for. I knew so many kids who had graduated from bs (inlcuding my roommate). They were definitely more prepared academically than I. But....they partied a lot too.</p>

<p>ibftw, why do you get so upset when people challenge your statements? And then, instead of just responding to their comments, you feel the need to throw in a negative comment about the poster. Even though you are stating your own opinion, you have a tendency to make sweeping judgements about other people..i.e. my sister's friends are elitist because they felt girls in their dorms were acting immature. Or saying the chances of your randomly-assigned roommate being somebody you'd otherwise hang out with are about 1/4 time. I wonder if you realize how negative (and kinda pompous) you sound--it makes me wonder what kind of kid you actually are (and at the risk of sounding rude) think no wonder you choose a single dorm room; you seem to be a difficult person to get along with.</p>

<p>I think the people responding to this thread have shown you really can't make generalizations about the people who attended bs and their maturity level at college, compared to the ones who didn't. It boils down to the person. And most everyone (including my sister's friends, and you) say that if there is an advantage, it only lasts for a short while--maybe one or two semesters.</p>

<p>Some of the posters brought up points that I hadn't thought about before: such as, if I am living in a dorm for the next 3 years, do I want to suffer through another 4 years of dorm living in college? I hadn't thought about it before, but I know I definitely do not!</p>

<p>lbftw: Simply because I didn't see that you realized the subjectivity or debatability of your claims. In a thread devoted to the topic, I would have elaborated on your point (not necessarily countered it, FYI), but that didn't seem appropriate here.</p>

<p>I apologize if I misread you.</p>

<p>I thought Boarding school meant that your parents didn't love you enough to want to put up with you, that could ruin your college experience. :))</p>

<p>lol, tomslawsky :)</p>

<p>As I'm wrapping up my senior year, my parents have been discussing sending my brother to Exeter, who is going to be in high school next year (though I guess it's too late to enroll for the incoming school year). I'm a little jealous that my parents didn't think of that for me, but I wouldn't trade my four years for anything :).</p>

<p>I would have to agree with a post earlier on (forgive me, I can't remember who posted it!) that said that it's more of a responsibility issue over anything, but IMO it's on a case by case basis. Since a couple of you are bs students, then I'm sure you have an upperhand at independent living that most incoming college freshmen don't have. But I don't think it ruins the "college experience." College really is what you make it-- you can be a binge drinker or you can shoot for the dean's list :) it's what you make of it (granted, I haven't reached that level yet, but I can only assume!).</p>