Does Cal life get ANY better than high school?

Colleges and Universities A-Z University of California - Berkeley
1

<p>Alright this isn't the standard question regarding test scores, chances, or other academic liveries. This is about college life in Cal as a whole.</p>

<p>Senior year has started, and I'm really hating school right now...it feels like I don't fit here, people don't have the same interests as I have, a majority of people are so immature and shallow. I really believe there's a huge correlation between intelligence and maturity for people in general.
Only about 6 people including me (2220) out of 500 seniors in this class broke a 2000 on the SAT...that's how pathetic our school is. </p>

<p>I don't have any friends to connect with in high school..I feel really alone and misplaced. I've always felt this way since HS started, but now it pains even more. I'm usually a really good fun person to hang out with. Like I got into COSMOS and oh boy it was such a fun experience! People were so nice, I had a blast..made meaningful friends. The girls were really nice and fun too! haha.</p>

<p>My question is, does college life get better than the stupid high school crap I'm dealing with now? According to my councelor, I have a good chance that I might end up at Cal. So I really need to know.
In HS, I had one female friend who I thought would be a really good friend of mine...but she betrayed me and now I feel so broken..we were so close, and now this?? A lot of people are like her as I realize it now. No one respects friendship. Everyone is so rude.
Does life get ANY better in Cal??? If I had one wish, I wish I was Charmander...that way I can just burn my school down and get this over with
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I'm joking..not that extreme yet.</p>

2

<p>Just since you sound like me last year, i’ll honestly answer your question. Please everybody else, don’t burn me down haha… In the week that I’ve been at Cal, I’ve learned that its a very inpersonal place. Its hard to make friends. Well its easy to make acquaintances. Meet their phone number, add them on FB, DONE!!! But getting real friends here beyond the hey and bye is tough. Most ppl I know already have their high school friends. The cliques that you find in high school are still here. You may think now that Cal is super academic with ppl who love math and science and lit, but thats wrong. A lot of ppl are “shallow” here too. Cal is like an ordinary high school ( a large one at that) with the lower and higher quartiles. I thought that when I enter Cal, things would change, I’d get a whole new circle of friends, we’d hang out like in “How I met your mother,” and things would be fun. But life is not that way. If you were popular in high school, even if you start out scratch, you will be popular here. If you were a loner in high school, even more chances that you will be a loner here. Its a sad truth. If you want real friends, real relationships, a real life, don’t go to Cal. Go somewhere where you are special, and ppl will like you for who you are.</p>

3

<p>it gets a LOT better. It’s so fun (at least for me)</p>

4

<p>What ever you do, DO NOT listen to mariocart64’s comment.
PM me if you have any questions.</p>

5

<p>The cal experience is DIFFERENT… though not necessarily better. It really depends on the individual and his or her experiences. Personally, I like Cal a lot more-- mainly for the academics since I was rarely challenged back in high school.</p>

<p>That being said, I agree with MarioKart. It can be more difficult to make REAL friends here. Again, it depends on the person. For me, nearly all of my closest friends are still the same ones I had back in high school (even though we all go to different colleges)</p>

6

<p>Okay…i really need more people to be honest about this inability to make friends thing…I need to know. I don’t want to end up in a place where I wont fit with anyone.</p>

7

<p>Not really. I have been in Berkeley right now and I am miserable.</p>

8

<p>I’m a sophomore and my best friends are here at Berkeley (like real friends, not acquaintances) and I have practically cut ties with most of my HS friends since we never hang out because of distance. I find the people that complain the most are always the same. All day long they are locked in their room studying and NEVER socializing. Oh and the thing that annoys me the most, “I’m shy and want people to come up to me and be instant BFFs.” NEWS FLASH!!! Don’t expect people to do everything for you. The student population at UC Berkeley is very interesting and diverse, however many are like the people above, not initiators oh and fyi making best friends takes many months if not years so don’t be like everybody else that gives up on friendships after a couple weeks just because nothing happens in the beginning.</p>

9

<p>I’m a freshman and I find making friends to be pretty easy. It helps, of course, that I come from a high school/district that sends huuuuuuge amounts of people to Cal so I actually run into people a lot, but I’m not very close at all to most of my high school classmates. I mean we’ll say hi and make small talk, but that’s about it.</p>

<p>I was a bit of a loner/weirdo in high school, though luckily I did have a group of friends (not sure how but I’m not going to complain haha). At Cal I find that making friends and socializing is up to you to determine. If you’re going to stay in your room 24/7, be shy, not attend any of the welcome activities that they do, you are unlikely to have much luck. And, given how only a week or so has passed, I would suggest not to listen to mariokart’s comment because you can’t seriously expect a friendship, most especially a close one, to develop in the matter of a week, unless you’re lucky enough to have a lot of contact with that one person. You have to nurture relationships. So go out, meet people, get phone numbers, add each other on facebook, and MAINTAIN that relationship. Call them up for homework help if you share classes, or meet up with them for lunch or something. A lot of others are just like you, so just make an effort.</p>

10

<p>I have to say I agree with what mariokart64 said.</p>

11

<p>Here’s the deal.</p>

<p>If you were popular in high school, you will be popular simply because you were/are probably friendly, funny and possess social skills. </p>

<p>You won’t make friends if you sit around and complain and bi-tch. If you were a loner, make a conscious effort to change that aspect of yourself. People always say “be true to yourself,” but the truth is, friends don’t appear out of thin air. You have to make the effort to make friends.</p>

<p>I’ve been here for about a week and I’ve made some friends who I can comfortably talk to and go out to lunch/dinner with. </p>

<p>mariokart64 is painting an overly bleak picture for sure. University is only as lonely as you make it. Bottom line, If you try to make friends, you are bound to find people you like.</p>

12

<p>Okay, the thing is, I CAN make friends. I am sociable, and I can be popular. I was in middle school, and I get along really well with people form Lynbrook, MV, Gunn…neighboring schools. Even in the COSMOS summer program I was pretty popular. I made great friends.
Doesn’t have to be close, but people who’d greet you and ask you how things are going on.</p>

<p>But at my HS, I guess I’m a ‘new’ kid to the social group…I didn’t go to the middle school that sends students to this high school. It feels like I’m not needed and that groups are well settled by themselves. But still, its been 3 years since freshman year, and I still haven’t made any good friends.
No one greets, everyone = rude. Its like no one cares. I feel miserable, and I know its not my fault. If I could get along with people before, how come I can’t in hs?? I figured its the high school’s problem. I don’t fit in the environment here.</p>

13

<p>It is my first week in Cal here and I will try to answer your question. </p>

<p>First of all I will assure you that people in Cal are a lot friendlier and everyone tries to gets to know each other and makes friends. However, I have to agree with one of the above posters that I haven’t been super close with anybody yet. I’m not sure if this problem will persist but for the moment it seems hopeful that I will be closer with my room mates, dorm mates, and certain acquaintances as the year progresses. </p>

<p>Second of all, and I don’t mean to be rude, I think your attitude is a bit negative. I don’t know the situation at your high school but I believe that you shouldn’t blame everything on your surroundings and environment. As other posters have stated, a popular guy will remain popular in any situation. I think about the same route in that you should try to make the best out of your high school for now. For example go ahead and greet others even if they don’t greet you. Try to be personal with people and speak your mind.</p>

<p>I hope your situation will end in a favorable conclusion.</p>

14

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<p>In all seriousness, the answer to your question from someone who’s been at Berkeley a few years now is that it’s a big school, and like the real world. People aren’t going to randomly befriend you, because it is completely true that not everyone knows everyone else. It’s kind of hard to in such a big world. But almost everyone (very, very few exceptions) has been really friendly. </p>

<p>You will find an incredibly diverse student body. If you want geeks, you have it. If you want intelligent people who like lots outside of school, you have it. If you want people who take college not so seriously, and just have a really good time, you’ve got it again. </p>

<p>The key is that you have to make an effort. People are going to want to be your friend because they probably also feel that this is a big-school environment where friends don’t just happen automatically. </p>

<p>As for the girls, since I think you are worried about that too: frankly you should be able to find plenty of nice, friendly, and even good-looking ones. It’s a huge school, and there are lots of women. You just have to seek out your kind. Chances are, in engineering classes, you’ll find fewer, and they’ll be less likely to work hard at looking their best daily. But you can be pleasantly surprised everywhere. I know someone who went to UCLA, who wasn’t particularly floored by the attractiveness of the student body either, and I think it’s all in people’s eyes.</p>

<p>As for immature + shallow: again, in a huge school, there is a huge spectrum. You’ll find highly mature folk and others not so much. There really is something for everyone in my opinion, but I could be missing something very remote. The only legitimate complaint I have heard about Cal is that some majors do have a tough time getting their class schedules the way they want them, due to overcrowdedness. Having never experienced problems with this myself, I’m not so worried.</p>

<p>Finally, about the concern as to making close friends: you have to search around. Try to meet up with people you facebook friend – don’t just expect you all to immediately become chummy. I met amazing friends just by studying with them. There are lots of people, and it’s highly unlikely (near impossible) that none of them will meet your needs as a close friend or not want to be your friend at all.</p>

15

<p>I agree with Mathboy. Cal is such a huge and diverse school that you will find people who you are comfortable around. The thing is you can’t expect them to come find you, you have to be active and go out to meet people - either by talking to people in the dorms and class or joining clubs or frat/sorority. From my experience, the best way to meet people is from your dorm since most people don’t know each other. Most of my friends at Cal are from the dorm since we hung out on a regular basis when we were still living in the dorm. You will be able to find at least one or two people who are comfortable with on your floor. If not, then join a club and meet people there. There are so many clubs and frat/sorority at Berkeley that you will be able to find one where you feel fit-in. </p>

<p>In addition, I feel that a lot of big colleges will be like Cal - huge and diverse student population. So whether you go to Cal or other big colleges, you will be able to a group of people where you feel fit-in.</p>

16

<p>true, i definitely feel that (like alot of things in life) it’s what you MAKE of your situation.</p>

17

<p>Don’t despair; high school tends to be much more clique-ish and judging when it comes to friends (particularly for girls) because everyone knows each other. But in college there’s just way too many people, which in my opinion is a good thing. It can be very impersonal if you let it be, but if you’re willing to put yourself out there and make the effort, you’ll definitely be able to find a group of friends here.</p>

18

<p>Geez, no one is going to make BEST FRIENDS in a week! So just cos some people haven’t become close / comfortable with new people doesn’t mean that it’ll never happen… For the record, I am a freshman living alone in an apartment, and I’ve met tons of new people and have made 2/3 great friends that I’ve hung out with on a regular basis just this past week. Just be friendly and don’t close yourself off! I even facebooked a girl I chatted with sitting next to me in a 400 student lecture hall and someone I helped grab something for in Walgreens, you can make friends anywhere if you try -_-;.</p>

19

<p>Yeah as an example, I’d have no problem befriending any decent human being coming to study here.</p>

20

<p>You have the darn same situation as mine. except our class is smaller(150ppl) and almost non manage a 1900 is SATs …now that’s really sad. :(</p>