There are many posters here who have successfully survived BS and their child(ren) seem to be thriving, despite the ups & downs of high school. I frankly, appreciate their words of wisdom, and humor! Keep it coming
We love our child’s BS. We believe she made the right choice and that it will be a great experience for her, but we also recognize that it won’t be easy. Your children leave the safety of your home and the familarity of their community to be placed in a diverse environment of competitve peers. Classes can be tough. Extracirricular hours are draining. The new social norms are intimidating. I applaud the schools for attempting to create a place of diverse thought- for its uncomfortable, and messy. Our kids will make mistakes, be jerks and fail. I only hope that they have the resilience to get back up with humility and try again. What I hate to see are the parents that are so myoptic, so much in the drivers seat- that they do not allow their children to experience their own lives. Every time I failed, sometimes miserably, I eventually chose a better path. We have also seen the overbearing parents first hand- yealling at them about grades, not getting placed on a varsity squad, or scoring enough goals. I’ve even heard, “why don’t you have a boyfriend- what’s wrong with you?” When our DD left for freshmen year, all we focused on was getting through the year! Hoping for a phone call once a week or a text. That she would eat well, and make some friends. I never once looked at her grades. Not once. Her Dad read me her teachers comments which I loved, but I wanted to give my DD some space to figure it all out. She’s competitve and trust me, doesn’t need us micromanaging her academics. Next year, we’ll be more involved, because she asked us to be more involved…
@ doschicos I completely agree with you that there is little difference between BS and home students. I guess I was just shocked to find out how many teens were struggling in general. Makes my heart ache for them. On a personal note, I would never send my child to her BS if she was suffering from severe anxiety or depression. Every family makes their own decisions, but for ours, we would keep her @ home. I will always put her health over the BS diploma. She was diagnosed with a severe gluten/wheat allergy this summer. I’m a complete mess about sending her back to school with a gluten free diet!
@DonFefe Honestly, too many unfounded presumptions and speculations. Since you see self-service and ruthlessness where others see friendship and growth, perhaps it’s time to heed the reminder that “Beauty in things exists merely in the mind which contemplates them.” Projecting issues doesn’t solve them; looking inward does.
To echo what @copperboom said, a lot of the pressure is parent-generated. One of the most meaningful compliments I’ve received form my kid is the recognition that I do not harass her about grades as some parents apparently do. If you considered you son or daughter mature enough to be in a BS, you ought to give them the space to choose their own path and the time to learn how to walk it, stumbling and all. It’s about learning and personal growth, and we humans learn best when we are internally, not externally, motivated.
When we attended a BS fair, the Middlesex representative stressed their MIndfulness offerings. Is that a good sign (they’re proactive!) or a red flag (how stressful is the environment that they had to build a program?) ?
@CaliMex, I liked the MX mindfulness program, not necessarily as a stress reducer but as a tool for handling well all aspects of your daily life.
BS, just as life in general, is as stressful as you make it. Assuming a basic level of academic preparedness and fit, the hours spent studying are not proportionally associated with better grades, and better grades do not necessarily translate into social prominence. IMO, learning style, focus, time-management skills, personality, emotional intelligence, and character traits matter more than the actual number of hours put into homework, both for grades and for level of stress experienced by the student.
@copperboom it’s possible to make a gluten-free diet work at bs. see pm
I am LOL here because when considering schools, one of my kiddos said that MX was probably out, even though he liked quite a lot about the school, because “that mandatory mindfulness stuff” would just totally stress him out. 
^ He/she could use it as a sleep dep
Thanks for the responses!
Reminder: the careful reader will note that I’m not taking sides in this discussion. I’m not necessarily expressing my own views.
I’m just arguing both sides in an effort to see what others think. Call it a modified Socratic method. (Yes, the scars of law school die hard!)
If I don’t “push” the point in my posts, if I don’t wax a bit rhetorical, no one seems to respond! This is nothing personal. I have no axe to grind. I just want to hear what others have to say–and if overstating the case is necessary, then why not?
I was hoping someone would make an argument for competitive rigor, for the sort of environment that produces kids that end up as adults at investment banks, hedge funds, and corporate consulting firms. If no one will, then I’ll have to do it!
MX should be applauded for doing things a bit differently. I wonder what the kids who graduate from MX are like in later life. Are they in any way different–as evidenced by their chosen career paths–than kids from peer schools?
My daughter is quite happy at her school and I’m happy if she’s happy. I want her to work hard and succeed on her chosen path. The school has a stunning campus and nicer facilities than many colleges. I just hope my kid can find the time to avail herself of the many opportunities open to her, and that the need to remain competitive in the classroom doesn’t overshadow other worthwhile activities.
I forgot to add that @copperboom is eloquent in her unimpeachable wisdom, as always.
MODERATOR’S NOTE:
I have to agree. 9 posts deleted. At this point all there parents have weighed in on the original post and now the conversation has devolved into debate. Closing thread.