<p>Okay, I don’t mean to be insensitive here, and please forgive me if I am, but…</p>
<p>Instead of asking others to refrain from posting anything acceptance-related on the internet, maybe you should just not read CC if you don’t want to deal with it? I understand people shouldn’t be gloating, in a “haha I got in and you didn’t” manner… but asking them to entirely refrain other than one post seems a bit silly to me. If an applicant got into Andover and Exeter and wants opinions, they should be able to post it. This website is a resource, and asking everyone to stop using it for a while while the rejected grieve seems a little selfish. Again, correct me if I’m wrong, but staying off CC seems a lot less complicated than asking everyone else to.</p>
<ol>
<li>You will be clogging up the forum</li>
<li>It should be your own personal decision and input from anonymous people will ultimately not have a lot of weight.</li>
<li>Like @GMTplus7 said, revisit days are made for you to make your decision.</li>
<li>Those threads do come off as obnoxious and arrogant even if you mean no harm.</li>
<li>People who did not get in still want to see how other people did, but without the gloating.</li>
<li>Honestly, those “Exeter or Andover” posts don’t even get many responses and are pointless anyway.</li>
</ol>
<p>Clogging up the forum in what manner? The forum is made to be used, by people who want to discuss things related to the forum. I don’t know why accepted kids aren’t allowed the same privilege. While opinions on the internet aren’t going to make the final decision, opinions from others certainly help. I don’t know, to me, if you want to use this forum you’ve got to accept that people may be accepted when you aren’t. I would understand if you asked family members or friends not to talk about their acceptances, but it’s the internet… other people’s lives don’t stop when you’re hurting (I don’t mean you personally, just in general, and I by all means hope you get accepted into all your schools).</p>
<p>Again, not trying to be rude just reminding you guys this might be a hard battle to fight as I don’t want you to log on and see something you didn’t want to see.</p>
<p>@novafan: I’ve been on the forum for a few years now as has GMTPlus…and we both have kids in BS as well as kids applying this cycle. We have seen first hand the disappointment of applicants in the wake of M10, and apologies if we are trying to minimize what definitely comes off as gloating as decisions are announced.</p>
<p>As I have noted elsewhere recently, the well meaning parents who offer advice on what to post/what not to post are not trying to have a “chilling effect” but rather to help. You don’t have to believe me, but I bet you other “long term” parents would agree that certain types of posts on M10 come off as insensitive/bragging.</p>
<p>Less insensitive, more clear-headed I think. Been thru both the BS and college process with 4 kids now…I found it pretty easy to stay away from CC on those vulnerable days when other folks’ celebrations might make me feel less than celebratory. It’s a website folks. There’s a X button. </p>
<p>Well, I am a long time parent on this board - 8 years, although I don’t post too often now - with 2 children who have gone through the process. I know other parents are well meaning, but I’ve started to think many of you are bordering on overbearing in your good intentions. This forum is for an exchange of information and ideas, especially useful to those folks who don’t have a history with boarding schools. Let the process be organic. More exchange, less dictating of what is and isn’t PC on this board. If a problem arises, address the issue as needed. Frankly, in my 8 years following the board, abuses have been very minimal. Doing otherwise risks free flow of ideas. If someone wants to post acceptances before 3/9, go for it. If someone wants to post a school decision before 3/10, fine. If someone wants to discuss the pros and cons of Exeter vs Andover, why not? Even before the turn of this thread this morning, I’ve been thinking that this board has become a little dictatorial, which could lead to young teens being reticent to post freely. Let this forum be what it is and has always been.</p>
<p>@JoBenny- I agree, but I don’t think anyone is saying stop. I think OP and others are just encouraging parents/kids to tap the brakes a little. At least that’s how I see it…</p>
<p>I’m sort of on the fence about this one… I understand both perspectives. But, coming from the eyes of an applicant who is anticipating bad news on March 10th, I can see how “Which one of these schools should I go to?” thread can and will crawl under peoples skin. It’s bad enough that if you are rejected you know that someone better than you took your spot, lets not have people rub it in. On the other hand, I’m guessing that after March 11th, a lot of users will not be spending 12 hours on CC. </p>
<p>I think that those types of threads can wait, because even if there is someone that can accept the fact of a waitlist/rejection, there are a lot of kids who cant. Lets try to keep those threads to a minimum, I think that’s what would be best. You all have to remember that not every single user on CC can deal with a rejection or waitlist as well as other people. Just be sensitive about those around you. Don’t gloat about how you got into all the HADES schools or whatever, keep the threads quiet. </p>
<p>Not all kids can handle it and I can only imagine how much it hurts. Be careful with what you say to others who were rejected or waitlisted. Could they be oversensitive? Yes. But they are still human beings with feelings and EVERYONE needs to respect that and be mindful. Think before you post. If you want, Private message someone, don’t post “I GOT INTO ALL 9 SCHOOLS! Which one do I choose?!” on CC because the fact of the matter is not everyone wants to see those types of things. I’m not saying it’s a bad idea and shouldn’t be allowed, I’m saying that they can wait. Because they really, really can just wait. </p>
<p>That’s how I see it, too. Congratulations on getting into Exeter and Andover, but honestly, it’s like one of those chance me threads with ridiculously good things that get super sarcastic responses, and really, doesn’t help anyone.</p>
<p>I do see both sides of this issue. I think that as well as being a forum for people to openly post their ideas, celebrations, discouragement, etc., this forum is also a real community for many who have been here awhile… Students, applicants and parents alike. And for that reason, being respectful of others, not just ‘PC’, is what we’re getting at.</p>
<p>@cameo43: I’m most likely one of creative1’s (hey, long time no see!) “guilty as charged”, but I agree that for many of us, the forum is a community and we are just trying to maintain a bit of harmony (and avoid chaos…see my “NOT the ‘Official’ results thread” post).</p>
<p>Maybe the compromise here in the Andover or Exeter argument is to wait a week or two, think about it on your own, let the hurt fade a bit for those who have bad news, then come back here with your personal pros and cons list and see what others have to add or subtract from it. If you truly are in that situation, the debate needs to start with yourself and your family and then some time to let things set in and clarity to come. </p>
<p>There are kids who will honestly be choosing between Andover and Exeter and in my opinion they have every right to post questions here as long as they do it respectfully. What I’d like to see kids (and parents) rein in is the “Waah, all I got into was Governor’s! My life is over!” or “Everyone says getting into BS is so tough but I was admitted to PA, PE, Deerfield and Middlesex. What’s the big deal?” posts. These are admittedly rare, but they do show up now and then. “Can anyone comment on the relative strengths of the math departments at PE and PA?” is not an unreasonable question and should not be misconstrued as gloating.</p>
<p>I’d understand that, but like @needtoboardbsaid, do wait until after revisit day and if you still haven’t decided. If you just do a search there are a lot of old threads with good info. </p>
<p>We did not apply to Andover or Exeter but did apply to other HADES schools. In response to mrnephew I can see the need prior to revisit days to get opinions pros, cons so that when you do revisit you have that much more information to help you make a decision. In our situation we have not visited any of the schools and only had one Skype interview so if my child is fortunate enough to be accepted we would value opinions from CC prior to revisit days.</p>
<p>While I’m happy to start another one for this year, I plan to hold off and see how it goes. I really hope people will post ALL results on SevenDad’s official results thread! </p>
<p>My nephew said I can post his results- so I’m very exited and nervous, too! Good luck everyone!</p>