<p>Dear Moms and Dads,
You have been so helpful to me in the past, I hope you can advise me again. My son is a typical CC kid - good grades, scores, EC's - the usual stuff. He is not however, the kid who has invented something, cured something or donated an organ. He is just a rising senior getting all his ducks in a row this summer and his nervous mother is worried for him. After reading all the posts from parents of last year's seniors, college admissions 2008 appears to have been something of a nightmare. Lots of terrific, well qualified kids who worked so hard got rejected from their choice schools (matches as well as reaches) and they along with their parents were left shocked and heartbroken. I do not want this to happen to him. The question is: now that he is about to begin the application process, should I steer my kid AWAY from the schools that are super selective (Duke, Brown, Georgetown etc.) and encourage him to only apply to less selective schools or should I stand back and just let him go for it? He reads CC from time to time, (not the parent forum) so he knows that admisssions is tough, but I don't want him to be heartbroken in the end.</p>
<p>The obvious answer is that he should apply to a range of schools, including a couple of safeties, a couple of matches, and a couple or reaches. If he's one of those kids whose natural matches are all places that accept significantly fewer than 30% of applicants, then perhaps he should cast a wider net in that range. I don't think that getting a mix of acceptances, waitlists, and denies is a bad thing.</p>
<p>I would, however, encourage him not to focus on any one school until AFTER the decision and FA offers are in.</p>
<p>I'm behind you as my son is just a rising junior, but I will encourage him to apply to some reaches with the caveat that there are no sure things. As long as your son (and you) don't look at stats and think, "Oh, I'm in that middle 50% range so I should be a lock" then there shouldn't be any surprises. As in so many things, college admissions appears to be a case of "Hope for the best, plan for the worst."</p>
<p>I agree with above posts. Just make sure that he doesn't get it in his head that he will only be happy at one school. When my D found out that she did not get into her first choice, she cried for a few hours, then took her little sister to the movies. The next day I treated her to a pair of jeans, which she still calls her GR (Georgetown Rejection) jeans. I think it helps that most of her friends had at least one college that they did not get in to. They were a good support for each other. And she could see the randomness to the process. Good Luck!!!</p>
<p>Picking you safety school is the most important decision you will make. Pick a school, preferably with rolling admissions that your S will be very happy at. All the reaches are capricious. Our S got accepted to two of his reaches Duke and WashU and enrolled in one of his safeties.</p>
<p>Thanks for all your input.
Yes, he does have match and safety schools on his list too. I was just wondering with this crazy musical chairs kind of admissions these days, if he should reclassify his safeties to matches, matches to reaches and just forget about those super selective schools altogether. I don't know.</p>
<p>Being "heartbroken" is usually caused by unrealistic expectations. You can prevent this by discussing matter-of-factly the ins and outs of college admission, and not getting all bound up by a "dream school". Let him apply to a wide range of schools- including some reaches, and let him know that he will get a good education at all of them, and will find friends at all of them. It doesn't have to be a tragedy if a kid doesn't get into the reach school.<br>
In the case of my kids, they also knew that financial aid would be a determining factor.</p>
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should I steer my kid AWAY from the schools that are super selective (Duke, Brown, Georgetown etc.)
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No, I advise that you encourage him to apply to these types of schools and others that are considered safer matches and safeties.</p>
<p>Help him to not "fall in love" with any school until he has an acceptance and the means to attend! Healthy scepticism is great. Our son really wanted to attend one of the schools on your list, but he did not believe they would take him, and if they did, we were concerned about the finances. So he did not have his heart set on it. He is a rising junior there now, and it has been great for him.</p>
<p>I agree about the importance of a great safety school. I remember my sister applied to her safety school early, got in, and was so happy about it that it really took the emotional pressure out of the rest of the process for her. She has said that she would have been perfectly happy to go to her safety school and, though she really loved the college she ended up at, she regrets not having some of the things her safety school had. Find a safety he loves, and he'll have no reason to be heartbroken at any other rejections.</p>
<p>I'm going to echo some others: love thy safety. I'm attending a "safety" school this fall because I loved the school so much (and because my parents can pay for it easily, and I will probably go to grad school so that was important). Don't put too much stock in any one school...when it comes time to decide, it should be VERY difficult!</p>
<p>I agree with finding a great safety school. Go visit one or two of them with the hopes of finding one that your son clicks with. Apply EA and with 2 acceptances in his pocket (assuming of course that he gets accepted), the pressure will be off regarding his matches and reaches. We always thought of the reaches as nothing more than a lottery ticket--besides, if he's on the lower end of the admitted stats at the reach schools, forget about merit money. That was a big concern with us. At the safety and match schools, the offer of merit money is far better. Don't worry about college ratings. Don't get sucked into the whole status thing that tends to dominate CC. Talk with your friends and get their opinions on colleges that they visit. This doesn't have to be a stressful time. We stressed out with our first kid (looking back on it, we would have done things more low key). Second kid was a breeze. We erased the status crap from our mentality. Went for more middle of the road schools where he could get merit money. Don't stress. And remember that it's not the school that guarantees success. It's the student and his drive and determination. Good luck and try to stay low key.</p>
<p>Yes, he does have some good safety schools on his list. I think he has a good shot at some of his matches too - but, should he keep those reaches on his list or not? Some of his favorites (Duke, Brown, Georgetown) seem more than just reaches - they seem to be "out of reaches" and I wonder if he should even apply to them at all.</p>
<p>Generally, a reach school is not a "lottery" school, so you and S ought to identify some schools that are a reasonable reach. OTOH, there's no real harm in having a lottery or two on the list IN ADDITION to reasonable reach schools.</p>
<p>As long as he has a healthy outlook, I don't see any harm in applying to the more selective schools on his list. He could be pleasantly surprised. The only down sides I see are: cost and time to apply, diappointment if he can't manage his expectations.</p>
<p>The kids who are at Brown from our school last year were accomplished, but not super superstars. They were top 25 kids in a class of 650 or so, one played in a jazz band the other was senior class president, but they weren't Intel finalists or anything like that. My son got applied to a bunch of reaches and got into two of them. He's very happy attending one of them. But I do want to echo other posters you need to have safeties you like too.</p>
<p>The way I have explained it to D2, who is applying to several high-end reach schools, is that I have PROMISED her that she will get rejected by some of them, maybe even all of them. But at the same time I have promised her that she will get into many fine schools (her safeties and matches) and will have a great time if she ends up attending one of those. The goal is to lessen the shock if the dream school thing doesn't happen.</p>
<p>The challenge I face is that she saw the dream come true for her big sister, so she may expect the same for herself. I have to keep reminding her that lightning may not strike twice.</p>
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They were top 25 kids in a class of 650 or so, one played in a jazz band the other was senior class president, but they weren't Intel finalists or anything like that.
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<p>I know an Intel semifinalist who got rejected by Penn.</p>
<p>There is no single qualification that will ensure admission to all highly selective schools. But if you don't try, there's no chance at all of getting in, right?</p>
<p>Marian,
This is exactly the kind of scenario that I keep hearing about.</p>
<p>"I know an Intel semifinalist who got rejected by Penn."</p>
<p>My son is NOT an Intel semifinalist. His GPA and scores are pretty good (34 ACT) but aside from the usual EC's that you see on CC he has no hook that a super selective school like Brown would jump for. Some of the parents have advised me to let my son apply to these super reaches anyway as long as there are safeties too. Do you share that opinion or would you just take these "lottery schools" off his list?</p>
<p>(just reread you last line, I guess it wouldn't hurt to try)</p>
<p>Sometimes you get the brass ring; sometimes you don't. If you don't reach for it you can't get it. And if you don't count on getting it, there is no harm in reaching.</p>
<p>I think the info about the Intel semifinalist is instructive in another way. The semifinalist did not make the cut at Penn. We know that other seemingly more "average" students did. The moral, to me, is that beyond a certain point, there is no predicting the outcomes.</p>
<p>If he doesn't apply he's 100% certain not to get in. As far as taking risks is concerned it's pretty tame, and perhaps heartbreak is part of the human condition (better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all). </p>
<p>My advice to my kids has been not to apply to a super-reach school unless they really like it. It's not worth the time, effort, and money to apply just to have more notches on one's belt. That being said, what the heck, if you get in, great, if not, oh well, the school's loss.</p>