<p>TheGFG. That is horrible about track. Enter your daughter in some road races. She would enjoy 5Ks and might get some age group recognition. There are also good private track clubs that nurture all abilities but would never pull something like that.</p>
<p>Some posters seem to think the policy only applies to Ivies. The policy is that students may not wear any college t shirt until May 1. Not saying that either policy is right. However, everyone needs to learn how to be a gracious winner and a gracious loser.</p>
<p>OP, your daughter sounds like a class act. I hope the coach has a change of heart; she should certainly get to do 2 events like her teammates. </p>
<p>I agree the kids should be gracious about their acceptances, but wearing a sweatshirt from the college you were admitted to does not seem to me to be ungracious. My S goes to a public high school where there are only a few acceptances to “elite” schools, but from what I can see the kids seem to be very gracious and celebrate all acceptances with their friends. </p>
<p>Parentofpeople, I had the same thought as you!</p>
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<p>Agreed. A reason why this policy strikes me not only as absurd/out of their domain, but also counterproductive in the case of one of the high schools affected from my experiences as an alum. </p>
<p>Also, you’d think that…but some people…not just high school seniors are overly sensitive to wearing college clothing. Caught hell with older relatives because it was still a sore point with cousins who were already hitting late '30’s-40s. </p>
<p>In another case, a mid-20-something woman I was starting to date went off on me and summarily left when I walked in wearing clothing from my high school for a coffee date. </p>
<p>Later found from her younger brother and father that she was still sore about it from being forced to turn down admission to my high school 10+ years ago due to having to stay close to home to take care of the little brother. Would have been nice to know that info beforehand. :(</p>
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<p>I think kids are tougher than the schools give them credit for!</p>
<p>Agree that there’s nothing wrong with wearing a t shirt from a school that you were accepted to. Some kids also like to wear shirts from schools they might not be attending-maybe someplace they visited, a sibling’s school, etc.</p>
<p>The wearing of a tee-shirt does not define a student. It is not a classless act nor does it rub “winnerism,” in the face of peers. It is the student inside the tee-shirt that will determine the “intent.” There are some students who will make arrogant snobs of themselves tee-shirt or no tee-shirt. Then, there are those who are merely showing pride in their decision or genuinely displaying happiness in their acceptance. I think the other kids who might be feeling low about their rejections can tell the difference between those who are celebrating and those who are “rubbing it in.”</p>
<p>Arbitrarily waiting until May 1st is not solving the problem as it’s clear that particular school has competition issues. My D is a senior at a school that hasn’t produced many students that went to top tier schools. This year is an aberration as four students will be attending ivies(D included) and 5 will be going to top LACs. Most of those students(my D included) and also alot the kids who were going state wore their apparel the monday after preview week and there was no outrage or posturing. For her school it was seen as a positive because there haven’t been enough kids to go through that building with high aspirations for college.</p>
<p>My D is as quiet as they come and keeps her head down at school and gets her work done and I don’t see a problem with her wearing a tee-shirt representing the fruits of all her hard work.</p>
<p>What’s next, not allowing kids to wear sports apparel of championship teams because it makes the kids who are fans of the other teams feel like losers?</p>
<p>Reading between the lines…
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<p>I think the administration is afraid a kid might be driven to suicide watching others celebrate early decision success while they have been rejected.</p>
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<p>Considering a dean of my HS recounted how an older HS classmate was crying as if a sky was falling at the end of her senior year some years back because she received one -A on a transcript of solid As despite being accepted to ED/EA to Harvard, such fears may not be unfounded. Sounds like some things haven’t changed in the last 20 odd years.</p>
<p>I seem to recall on another thread (maybe parents of 2012?) that it is tradition that students stop wearing all college attire from the time acceptances come in until May 1st, when they all proudly display their choices. I don’t recall that it was punitive, but it did have the advantage of letting emotions simmer a bit after rejections. While I wouldn’t want to restrict anyone, I do think that sort of group tradition would have benefits, especially if everyone didn’t talk about where they were going, etc. May 1st would be a bit like a surprise party. </p>
<p>In out school, it would be impossible to do since our students would not be able to live through March Madness without wearing colors (though most will not attend the college that they are wearing during that time).</p>
<p>GFG, </p>
<p>Seriously, you ought to set up a meeting with the principal about this. It’s ridiculous. However, I do wonder if something else is going on. Is this something the coach told your daughter? If so, it’s at least possible that something else is going on and he told her that she was “too good” so as to spare her feelings.</p>
<p>davidthefrat: the college acceptance policy and track situations are tied together by a thread characterized by the discomfort with relative excellence. Over the last 20 years of my kids’ public schooling, I’ve noted a strong motivation on the part of teachers to attempt to level the playing field. If they did this through actual education, training, and coaching, that would be great. But they tend to rely on cover-ups and masquerades.</p>
<p>For example, if grades are sufficiently inflated, then everyone gets an A and we all look good. If there is only one winner and we don’t like that unpleasant fact, then we’ll pretend no one won (no congratulations, hugs or high fives), pretend there was no competition taking place (we aren’t keeping score), or else buy lots of ribbons and pronounce everyone a winner. Not sure if this is true, but several parents have told me that at our high school now, remedial students can be nominated to NHS as long as they get all A’s in their classes–the ones with names like “Elements of Algebra” and “Fundamentals of Chemistry.”</p>
<p>Immediately, people go right to the stereotype of the snobby future Ivy student. The assumption is that these classless braggarts and “sore winners” are to blame. My money is on the whiny losers being the culprits in this–just as they were in my “unrelated” track situation. They and an adult who feels he should be the arbitrer of “fair.” Just as the coach deemed it unjust that my D should win over upset older girls who are trying hard too(!), this high school in their ominscience has deemed it unjust that some kids got into elite schools while others didn’t (and are no doubt equally deserving because all our students are deserving…)</p>
<p>jonri–yes, he pulled my daughter aside after practice and told her she was his best distance runner (she is objectively is), but that she’s “too good.” He seemed to mean that he doesn’t see how the other girls can beat her unless he takes her out of the way. Maybe he fears they are getting discouraged? At the last meet, D led the whole way in both races and in both events the second place girl from our team (two different girls) almost caught her at the line. But she surged ahead and won. This perhaps demoralized them because they thought they were going to catch her but failed. Neither girl hid her anger and disappointment, though they weren’t exactly sore losers. They just announced loudly to everyone and the coach how they almost had her, how they only lost by a few seconds/tenths of seconds, and how mad they were about it–really mad.</p>
<p>If situations just like this hadn’t already happened to my older D, I might doubt my younger one’s interpretation. But this is pretty typical and actually a similar thing happened to her during cross country season too.</p>
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<p>I doubt that’s the case vis a vis the admins/Principal at my HS which was named as one of the schools affected. The cutthroat competitive atmosphere among students and the sink or swim mentality of most teachers is such that such “losers” and their parents would realized going to the teachers/administration to complain would not only be a huge waste of time…but also provoke more ridicule not only from other classmates…but even some teachers. </p>
<p>Many of the key people in the current HS administration were the very types of teachers/admins who wouldn’t consider complaints of anyone in the bottom 80-90% back when I was a student there. That still seems to be the case judging by what I’ve heard from more recent graduates and from parents of current students. </p>
<p>I’m betting this policy was brought down from above by the NYC Board of Ed bureaucrats as they’d be the types to be responsive to such “losers”. Wouldn’t be the first time…</p>
<p>On the other hand, there were a sizable contingent of “sore winners” within the top 25% who were admitted to at least one Ivy or peer institution. That was just part and parcel of the cutthroat competitive culture at my HS. What’s worse was that it wasn’t solely directed at non-Ivy/peer admits…but even among them as insults of “safety school” were commonly used even against those admitted to schools like Cornell. </p>
<p>Yes, it reached ridiculous extremes…which my circle of friends and I dealt with by satirizing them and answering that our college plans were to be beach bums in California. In actuality, some of us did attend elite or well-respected colleges such as URochester, Cornell, Oberlin, Middlebury, Reed, and Brown.</p>
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<p>Special ed teacher here wondering if this is a bad thing? If kids are doing their best in these classes, is it really taking anything away from from the “non- remedial” kids to acknowledge that? Especially if they are also demonstrating the traits of character, leadership and service that admission to NHS implies?</p>
<p>If I hadn’t seen the link to the article, I would have thought it was from The Onion.</p>
<p>The most tasteless example of bragging I know of comes as an insert in our high school’s graduation program, where each student’s self reported post graduation plans, along with every offer of merit money and scholarship money to every school each student was accepted to is listed.</p>
<p>At my daughters hs it was considers tacky to wear your college gear too soon. It wasn’t jealousy, it was just seen by the kids as give everyone a chance to process.</p>
<p>As for wearing high school gear on a date and you are in your twenties, that just bad style.</p>
<p>To the op regardingthe running, not sure what area you are in, but there are great running clubs that would love to include your daughter. Some are competitive, some are for training. The idea of 5ks is a great idea as someone suggested. Being part of those races will do wonders for your daughter and if her teen years won’t be in the typical high school or hs experience, having this outside the school will motivate her more, and keep her fit and it’s almost a well, you wont let me run at school, look at me now!!</p>
<p>Your daughter may be old enough to work out at a local YMCA. </p>
<p>If you financial situation is able to pay the fees for races, I bet you could get some help with that. </p>
<p>When ,y daughter was in middle school, the teachers had favorites, and I had to be proactive and help daughters find outside school activities to make up for lack of chances at the school. One teacher didn’t like my daughter. There was class election. My daughter lost. The winner was a classic mean girl who the teachers liked. Many kids went to my d and said they were shocked that mg won.</p>
<p>Anyway, that next week, my girls and I went out and cleaned a beach. We discovered it was littered with cigarettes. We collected the butts in jars and went to our local government and long story short, helped get the gov motivated to bab smoking on beaches.</p>
<p>My point is, sometimes these unfair moments can be used as a catalyst to do something even bigger and learn not to let some jerks control your options and destiny. </p>
<p>If its running that makes your daughter happy and shine, then find ways to let her do that beyond the school. </p>
<p>While it was still hard for my daughter to see that bratty mg make speechs as class president, it was less annoying as my daughter had done things outside of school that mattered. </p>
<p>Imagine your daughter showing up to school wearing a tshirt from different races shenhas participated in. Or training in those shirts. And reaching personal bests. It’s not quite giving the figure, but itll feel really good</p>
<p>GFG</p>
<p>Find a private running/track club for your daughter. This coach is a wimp.</p>
<p>Also, the coach should be scolding the girls who are basically mad at their teammate for winning. Um, thats just stupid. They should have run to her and given her a big hug.</p>