<p>1) The things that make people friends have nothing to do with their living patterns. Guess which one will make or break a roommate? It's not that they knew your first crush. In high school, you guys had essentially the same life structure: school ran the same hours every day, clubs were limited to the size of your student body, you ran in the same circles.... In college, even in LACs, there are oodles of clubs to join, a catalog of classes to join--you will be on different clocks, and you'll react to those changes differently. There's a way bigger tension between the nerdy early bird and the hard-partying free-wheeler (sorry to stereotype, but you get the drift) when those people are trying to preserve a friendship. </p>
<p>Which leads me to my next point....</p>
<p>2) It's harder to grow when you're reminded daily of what you're leaving behind. You can't focus your energy on trying to preserve something that may not even need preserving. You know how you act differently around your immediate family then around the people you go to parties with? You also act differently around friends than you do around people you don't know. You're not allowed to experiment when you come home to people who expect you to be the same person you were in ninth grade. You may or may not shed all of your old friends in college, but you will need time to drift away to figure out who you've become.</p>
<p>My friend and I plan to room together next year in college. I've known him since 9th grade, and though we're nowhere near best friends, we do get along quite well. Teachers and counselors have warned us of potential problems, like arguments that we won't agree to resolve, but neither of us could see ourselves in those situations; we both think things will work out just fine. From what I know of him, we have quite similar living habits, like staying up late and sleeping in.</p>
<p>The advice is to not room with people you already know, but I barely know this guy. Am I wrong to think that rooming with someone I know a BIT is better than rooming with a completely random stranger?</p>
<p>I ended up really lucky with my random selection, and I have friends who roomed with friends and ended up really unhappy. I think it can go either way for both cases. you can't say that random is always good and friends are always bad, and you can't say it the opposite either. it really all depends.</p>
<p>one thing you should consider though: would you rather end the year hating someone who was a complete stranger a year ago, or someone who was a good friend a year ago?</p>
<p>It's true. Really, if you're a reasonably laid-back person, try the random-roommate thing. I did, and I'm not rooming with any of my 3 roommates next year. However, the 4 of us got along pretty well -- it was a good year and everything was cordial. Most people I know were in a similar situation -- they're not staying with their freshman year roommates, but it was an overall positive experience.</p>
<p>Freshman year is a VERY stressful time, and if you're with your friends from HS/elsewhere, you risk ruining your friendship, especially if you're sharing not just a suite but a room. Tempers flare and little annoyances can be blown into big things when you're already stressed/constantly in close quarters. A little distance is better. The one exception is siblings/relatives (or if for some reason your roommate from a boarding HS is at college w/ you)...if you already know you can room with them, then go right ahead!</p>
<p>Oh right...and if you can "choose" your roommate from people online or whatever...here are my suggestions for the most important things to look for...</p>
<ol>
<li><p>Similar bedtimes/wake-up times (Keep in mind that you'll be going to bed later and waking up later than you did in high school)</p></li>
<li><p>Partying habits...if you looove throwing parties, don't room with a shy/studious person. They'll hate it if you have people over in your room at weird hours. If you're a quieter person and/or someone who wants to limit crazy socializing, try to live with someone similar.</p></li>
<li><p>Music. This may seem dumb, but some people insist on playing loud music in the room, and it's best to make sure you can tolerate each other's tastes.</p></li>
<li><p>Smoking. Even if they don't smoke in the room, a smoking roommate could irritate someone who can't stand tobacco b/c the smell stays on clothes/skin unless the person is careful. That being said, I am asthmatic and have lived/do live with smokers and it's fine, because they're just careful to febreeze a lot, haha.</p></li>
<li><p>When/where do you like to study? If you want to study in the room, make sure you have a roommate who doesn't plan on having lots of people over on weeknights.</p></li>
<li><p>Strictness of religious views...this really only applies if you're particularly religious. If you'd be uncomfortable with someone whose morals are less strict, make sure you find someone who shares your conservative views. You're not gonna want to be sexiled all the time if premarital sex really bothers you.</p></li>
<li><p>Cleanliness. I'm a sort-of cluttered person, and got along with my roommate because she's the same way. If one person's a germophobe and the other's a slob, you're probably not going to somehow luck into an Odd-Couple-type harmony...you're going to fight. A lot.</p></li>
</ol>
<p>I think that learning tolerance and learning how to not just cope but also how to compromise is an essential lesson to college. And it is also just part of a college experience.
So I believe that having a ramdon stranger be your roommate is the best thing. After the awkward first couple of weeks things will start to either go great or not so great. Either way its an experience....and if it is that bad you can just change roommates</p>
<p>I had the chance to room with a close friend, but I decided not to. I rather ruin a relationship with a stranger than a good friendship. </p>
<p>I also decided to not room with her because I want to be able to change and I know she'd be holding me back and reminding me of things I want to get away from.</p>
<p>My 2cents worth..... I agree with someone above who said that being friends in h.s. (ever 'best' friends) is NOT the same situation as living together.</p>
<p>Also, people who start out as best friends might grow apart during college as they pursue different majors, get involved in different extracurriculars/sports, make new friends or just find their interests going in separate directions.</p>
<p>At the college I attended, freshman year you were randomly assigned roommates and while you could request a change in 'extreme' situations mentioned above, I think this was the way to go. I met a lot of new and interesting people that way and think it worked out great.</p>
<p>I think everyone has to decide for themselves what works, but you will grow and mature in college and perhaps your 'best' friend(s) from h.s. will no longer be your 'best' college friend(s).</p>
<p>Skramata- I plan on doing that with one of my best friends too. We're both transferring and I think the experience would be awesome together. We've already started talking about boundaries because I'm sure I'll get on her nerves every once in a while. :p I just told her if I'm upset I usually get really quiet to not be too bothered by it. But if some problem were ever to arise regarding our living arrangement that I would tell her. I know she would do the same for sure. :) I have no problem with that and want college to be enjoyable for us both because we've both worked really hard, time to enjoy our studies and our time at a good school.</p>
<p>I have several friends who roomed with their friends from high school for freshman year. One pair were best friends for years. They are still good friends and are living with eachother next year. They also didn't impair eachother from making friends because both have different groups of friends. Another pair fought now and then, but were able to make it through the school year without losing their friendship. I'd say they ended up like any average set of roommates. A third pair ended up hating eachother and one moved out after a semester. From my experiences people who choose friends for roommates can be on all ends of the spectrum. I personally think that you can end up perfectly fine picking a friend from high school for a roommate, but if it ends poorly it is easier to fight with someone who you have no background with than someone who knew you through high school.</p>
<p>i really really do agree.
it's great to hang out with best friends but i need a break.
i just don't want to stay with them 24/7. </p>
<p>first semester of my freshmen year, me and my roommate (randomly selected) had some kind of awkward situation.
bcoz we never stayed far from home. we hadn't stayed with strangers before. so we needed time to get to know each other.</p>
<p>though we didn't have much in common but we could talk to each other.
i knew that she was a good and reasonable person. </p>
<p>so i shared the same room, same dorm with her for another 4 years back then.
right now we've just graduated from a 4-year college and we still keep contacting to each other as well.</p>
<p>plus, if you have some problems with your roommate, you should talk with him/her.
i mean if you feel upset and keep silence, he/she will never know how you feel.
just talk to each other (i mean talking not shouting :) )
or if it is possible to forgive and forget, you should do it.</p>
<p>I met my soon to be roommate on facebook! We seem to have a fair amount in common, and text daily. I'm just scared we won't when it comes to the actual thing.</p>
<p>I'm going to go against the norm here and say that I decided to room with one of my closest friends. I've known her since 6th grade, and we're living together again this year (and the next, etc.).</p>
<p>I had my initial worries at first about jeopardizing our friendship, but I think what you really have to factor in most is how high your levels of tolerance are for each other, your daily habits, etc. It goes without saying that communication is key--talk about what you aren't okay with (visitors, being sexiled, pets, late rent, etc.) and reach some kind of compromise.</p>
<p>My tolerance level for my roommate (we're still sharing a room since it's a hell of a lot cheaper that way) is insanely high, and vice versa, which is, I guess, why we get along so well. It also probably helps that we're both night owls, and I'm barely there during the day because I'm always in class. I wash all the dishes and she cooks because I get home late. We clean every weekend, together, so one person isn't stuck doing all the work. I pay the gas and electricity; she pays the internet; we take turns paying the rent.</p>
<p>Good luck with whatever you decide to do! :]</p>
<p>I would agree but it depends if you know the person well (their habits etc). If not then there'll be dramas and arguments. T_T Had PERSONAL experience.</p>
<p>I didn't read through the whole thread, but i saw someone was getting depressed bc they had already requested their best friend or whatever. although i wouldn't reccommend it, my two best friends did it and they're closer then ever. but then again they barely ever got on each other's nerves when we would hang out for like days at a time. but they didn't meet that many people, so if you want to grow...</p>
<p>I roomed with an acquaintence/friend and it was awful, we fought for like 6 months straight, 2 of which we never spoke. before you jump to rooom with a friend compare living habits...we didn't and it was the major souce of conflict (sleeping habits and how clean the room was)...we get along fabulously again now that we're not living together :)</p>