<p>Well…if my calculation of your age is off…it is because I chose 19 as your age when your daughter was born. This would mean you are actually YOUNGER.</p>
<p>Making this all the more unbelievable.</p>
<p>You forgot to put something in your post about your plans to donate millions of dollars toward an endowed chair at the college you intend to have your daughter attend.</p>
<p>Colfever,</p>
<p>many things have changed since you went to college. Merit aid is not as available, loans are very limited, and financial aid will not be avaiable to your daughter because of your income and assets. </p>
<p>So basically you obtained your education and your success on on financial aid. Your daughter will not have that option. </p>
<p>Merit aid is becoming more and more scarce. “full ride” merit aid is almost non-existent. </p>
<p>If this is a serious post, and you are not a ■■■■■, I would recommend that you share your success with your daughter. Share the cost with her and help her. Assure she applies to schools that will offer her merit aid if she meets the criteria to keep costs down. But putting the “its all up to you, dear” whammy on her in 8th grade may be counter productive. </p>
<p>Of course, she could opt to have a child as a teen so that she is eligible for more financial aid as an independent. I hear that is a way to have school paid for. Maybe you could recommend that route to her?</p>
<p>Longhaul, the system is imperfect but the fixes are even worse.</p>
<p>I know kids who have grown up affluent whose parents divorce in HS. The lawyers are busy arguing about the beach house and who gets the BMW. Then both parents decide that college is the other parents problem. Guess who is out in the cold? The child of affluent people who refuse to pay their EFC.</p>
<p>I know kids whose parents own a business and have been sheltering money in various ways, some legal, some not. Kid applies to college- parents claim they can’t meet their EFC without “liquidating” some assets; kid ends up working minimum wage job and doing community college. I mean- who among us doesn’t have to liquidate assets?</p>
<p>System stinks- but who wants to be subsidizing folks who can afford to pay but won’t? Why should I be making it easy for deadbeats?</p>
<p>Hey Colfever-</p>
<p>We may be judging you too quickly but you did set yourself up. And its probably good on some level to see how your decisions are seen by outsiders. </p>
<p>The bottom line is that your choices are really between you and your daughter. If you can navigate this and maintain a solid relationship with your daughter you have won. </p>
<p>I get that you have sacrificed a lot a this point and may feel that it is your turn. But realize that things may not turn out exactly as planned. </p>
<p>In some respects, on another thread, the strategy of getting mucho merit moola for college with the plan for med school later may have been thought to be a good one. But it’s just a strategy and I think what we are reacting to is the initial premise that you will not contribute no matter what.</p>
<p>Op, you may have grown up in poverty and gotten financial aid but your daughter didn’t. This means no grants Or financial aid other then merit scholarships.</p>
<p>I’m all for kids paying things themselves but this us a weird situation because what she has to pay is mostly based on you.</p>
<p>Sent from my DROID BIONIC using CC</p>
<p>Oh, it is still possible. If the OP’s DD is a reasonably good student and if OP guides her to the schools that have full rides or close to them, as Momfromtexas did with her sons, there will be direct options. Or she can go to a local state college/community college, military, Americorp, join the work force. There are lot of options there. Directly to college is not the be all to end all. But if the OP is sending this DD of hers to a school where her peers are all heading off to parent supported options, it’s not going to necessarily make for a happy household. Any of us on the boards have seen posts from those kids who are in that situation. “Parents Won’t Pay. Not Eligible for Aid”. Those are the very few kids intrepid enough t find this board and ask what to do. </p>
<p>With kids, we can not guarantee how they will react. When most of the peers and friends are looking at the colleges that are popular in an area, it hurts when you are looking at East Huckaboo Tech Institute, or at the community college, while living in a home where education usually has more of a priority. Parents do this all of the time, however. It’s just rare that they actually plan to do this.</p>
<p>You’re an educated woman, OP. Do some real research into how much she can really expect to get from acceptable colleges. If she wants to do med school or dental school, then community college is not going to cut it. State schools are much more expensive than they were even 5 years ago. She will not be able to get financial aid, and I can tell you that most kids don’t make $20,000/yr. in their part time, minimum wage job, which is what a year at a flagship costs. Before you say what you ARE or ARE NOT willing to do, you should at least determine what her options are likely to be. And don’t forget to factor in the inflation of tuition prices that has been going on for the past few years. </p>
<p>The reason why people are being hard on you is that you’re basically telling your daughter, who you have lavished with dance lessons and this and that, to the tune of $150,000 over the years - 'Well, Mom got her education, and I’ll get to do what I want to do with my life, but you’re just on your own and it’s pretty much hopeless unless you can get a full ride (which she very well may not). So get ready to flip some burgers - oh, except for at McDonald’s in MA, because they want you to have a degree there."</p>
<p>cptofthehouse, there’s no guarantee those free rides that are out there today will be there in 4 years. If current trends are any indication, they very well may not be.</p>
<p>Note: OP says she’s willing to contribute to med school or dental school, just not her BS.</p>
<p>CPT…how long do you think that the full or almost full ride will still be avilable? </p>
<p>Honestly, I wish I knew how tough admissions and scholarships were going to be for my son when he was in 8th grade. I was really clueless. I MAY have done things a little differently if I had been better educated.</p>
<p>Hmmm.
<p>I don’t doubt that your daughter, if you and she put your heads together, will be able to come up with some decent merit aid. University of Alabama, for instance, will give full tuition to NM Finalists. But that won’t cover the cost of housing, transportation, etc. </p>
<p>Your daughter may want to get a job asap. If you were my mom, I’d spend every summer and weekend through high school working as much as possible and saving money. That might be counter productive, because then when would I be able to study to qualify for all this merit aid I’m supposed to get? But I’d feel very pressed to make enough money so I could afford some flexibility. I’d be pretty confused and stressed, just starting high school.<br>
If this is your plan, it’s only fair that you let your daughter know now that she’d better start saving. At least if she wants to have a place to live while she’s enjoying her full tuition scholarship at UofA or the like. Provided she has the scores.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>that won’t work, because she will need the time to cure cancer or save a small country following a tsunami so that she is even eligible for most of the merit aid.</p>
<p>Doesn’t anyone else find the OPs screenname to be ironic? Colfever?</p>
<p>Why even groom her for merit scholarships and paying 150k for ECs? You should be counting the day until she turns 18 and kick her out of the house. Unless of course, she manages to get a job and makes some money and pay you more than her fair share to stay with you.</p>
<p>thumper, not me, but I am slow. Explain.</p>
<p>If cromette is correct and there aren’t any decent free rides in 4 years, then I will re-evaluate. I don’t think, however, that will be the case. </p>
<p>vlines, what would you have done differently? </p>
<p>I don’t understand why a lot of posters regularly advocate that bright students attend the free ride schools and state that they give a great education, but seem to be implying here that just because I have means, it would be wrong for me to expect my DD to attend one of those. For example, what would be wrong with Alabama?</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Oh, I’d say the OP is contributing plenty of BS. ;)</p>
<p>
Nothing. But “tuition” is all they give. Room, board, books, transportation, all add up to many thousands of dollars a year. How will she afford that?</p>
<p>Like I said, if this is your plan, have your Dd get a job asap and start saving. In four years, while attending high school, how much do you think she could earn?</p>
<p>My sense is that you have done very little research into exactly what “free ride” actually means for those who are looking at merit only. Kids who truly get free rides are typically those without means who cannot attend otherwise.</p>
<p>Trip trap, trip trap.</p>
<p>Colfever- we may have cross posted but I also made the point that on another thread the strategy would seem like a good idea. </p>
<p>And if you are willing to reevaluate when you get the offers in, I don’t think anyone would continue to judge you harshly. </p>
<p>Perhaps not being so dogmatic with strangers (and friends) would be seen as the more diplomatic approach-less like you are throwing your kid under the bus at 18.</p>
<p>If you’ve been following the “entitlement” threads over in the FA forum (one of which got so contentious it had to be closed), it sounds like ColFever’s post is riffing off of that. She feels “entitled” to retire early and spend her money on travel rather than pay for her child’s education, much like the student in the other thread felt entitled to her high-priced school while disregarding her parents’ financial situation.</p>
<p>It’s satire, folks. :rolleyes:</p>