<p>Colfever, if you had taken one of those low paying jobs, then you would be low income and if your daughter had the profile, she could get financial aid offers from schools, so, yes, in that niche area, she would be better off than having a parent with income deemed able to pay who won’t. Won’t get financial aid in that scenario at all. </p>
<p>Actually, it has been in discussions, that families can do this. Divest themselves of their assets, take a very low paying job so that their children can have a go at the financial aid lottery. Maybe you can do that.</p>
<p>I had to put myself through college because my parents refused to help me. I got a small Pell grant one year and then no aid at all (aside from loans) the following years. Took me 10 years to get my BS degree.
Because of this I feel even more strongly that I didn’t want to make our kids put themselves through school. DH’s parents paid for 4 years and he never graduated. Our compromise was to pay a percentage and have our kids pay a percentage. This way they have “skin in the game,” but we aren’t leaving them flailing out on their own.</p>
<p>If you are serious about not helping her, then the reality is that even with a full ride tuition scholarship the room & board and books, etc will probably still be more then she can pay with $5500 loans and working. Community college will need to be a serious option for her. Unless she can find a school within commuting distance that will give her a full tuition ride so room & board is not necessary. </p>
<p>In our midwest state the cheapest non community school state flagship is $17,000 including tuition, fees, room & board, etc. Tuition is about $8,000 of that leaving $12,000 for the other expenses. Even with a $5500 stafford loan that would still leave a student needing $6,500 which is a lot to try and earn working part time. No further loans are available unless a parent is willing to co-sign.</p>
<p>Think of it this way…the money you are currently spending on these ECs can be diverted to help with some part of college costs when your DD graduates from HS. We had one kid with very expensive ECs. It helped prepare us for eventual college costs!</p>
So you allowed others to pay for your top 5 education. Who do you think paid for it? Answer: rich people, like you are now, who donated money for scholarships. But you won’t even pay for your own kid’s education. Not only are you unfair, you’re a parasite.</p>
<p>The money for the ECs could have gone into a 529 plan for your daughter.</p>
<p>You cannot predict your daughter’s SAT scores or GPA, you are rolling the dice.
As a matter of fact she could mess up in high school, suffer from depression, suffer from an eating disorder etc and there goes the free ride!</p>
<p>Our flagship runs $23k for in-state. OOS is much more. UMich and others are approaching $50K for OOS students.</p>
<p>Our flagship also gives out a decent number of merit scholarships. The kids who get those are the ones who get offers from HPYSM, etc. Average SAT of <em>accepted</em> students these days is 2000+ and weighted GPA 4.05. This school received 26,000 applications for a class of 3,975. 10,806 students were offered admission, and about 150 were offered the full kahuna ride. The stats for those kids are significantly higher.</p>
<p>It’s OK to say you don’t want to pay for a $50k/year school, but no support? It’s not realistic in the current financial aid protocols in place at colleges. </p>
<p>My parents dropped me off at college with $50 and a breezy “you’re on your own.” If not for a scholarship that paid for my first two quarters, I would have had to go home the same day, as I had no other money and my parents weren’t paying for anything. The aftermath still affects my life. I was able to work 20 hrs/wk @ minimum wage and take out Stafford loans to pay for school, but my COA was $3500/year at a flagship (in-state). That is not possible these days.</p>
<p>I would not want my daughter getting married/pregnant as a strategy for qualifying for FA based on her income and assets. She will be unable to get more than Stafford loans without a cosigner – are you willing to cosign? Frankly, I’d be more inclined to contribute to costs upfront than to cosign loans for my kids. Less risk to my long-term financial health.</p>
<p>I don’t think I’m rolling the dice. Every parent should have a good understanding of their kid’s aptitude (i.e., be realistic). I understand what mine is capable of and what she is not. She is, after all, blessed with her parents’ intelligence (Her dad was also a high achiever. He gives what he can now, but doesn’t make enough to help with college. He took one of those low paying jobs.). In any event, I had DD take the SAT’s last year to confirm what I believed, which is that she is capable of scoring high come junior/senior year, and without any preparation, she did not disappoint.</p>
<p>Basically, the OP is telling her daughter that she’d better get top grades and scores or she isn’t attending college at all. And not just top–tippy top. Good enough to get a full ride on merit alone.
If that’s not a recipe for depression, or if one is healthy, rebellion, I don’t know what is.</p>
<p>“busdriver, your math is off again. That was an example that I provided to show that my estimate was reasonable. $10k a year on average is nothing here in terms of EC costs, and of course, costs increase over the years as a child progresses.”</p>
<p>If someone has really paid 150K for EC’s for a child before they have even started high school, they don’t give examples of how someone else could pay 10K/yr for 15 years for a 15 year old. You are the one who said, "“EC’s are extremely expensive in our part of the country. She started young. 150/15 is $10k per year.”</p>
<p>Someone who is giving an honest answer to their own specific situation, not some other mythical person’s situation says it a little differently. Either they say, “Well, I exaggerated a bit, I probably didn’t spend that much.” Or I generalized, here is the specific situation. I started paying X amount of dollars when she was X years old, the EC’s she is involved in are XX. If you spend that kind of money on a kid’s EC’s, unless you are absolutely, filthy rich, you know how much you spent and when. You need to get your story straight if anyone is going to believe you.</p>
<p>True, ocm2014. I’m just trying to kill a little time, but this is getting boring.</p>
<p>busdriver11, I don’t see why you are so intent on trying to poke holes in my story. There are none. If I give more specifics, I may divulge my identity, which I don’t necessarily want to do at this point, particularly as I will like to continue posting under this name for advice over the next 4 years.</p>
<p>Yes, fine grammar and diction, though she’s weak on calculating dollars and years. And if not a ■■■■■, a wonderful advertisement for teenage birth control.</p>
<p>No one has to poke holes in this story. It’s Swiss cheese from the get go.</p>
<p>So if Dad is low-income, daughter can move-in last year of high school with dad and dad has custody. Daughter applies to only FAFSA schools and Mom pays less.</p>
<p>OP - Here is where it is selfish – YOUR finances control DAUGHTER’s ability to get college financing. </p>
<p>If you refuse to help her with college, then she cannot attend until she is 24. At age 24, she will not need to report your finances.</p>
<p>You referenced Alabama. Bama changed their National Merit scholarship to eliminate housing in years 2-4. We are estimating $14k/yr for our son to attend Bama AFTER NMF scholarship. This changed happened in mid-July. Huntsville’s changes did not happen until October. In the last few years, strong LACs have eliminated all merit aid - Franklin & Marshall is one that comes to mind. You cannot predict what the next 4 years will bring.</p>
<p>At some schools, my son was competing for full tuition, not full ride, against kids with +2300 SAT, 4.0 unweighted GPA, slew of AP credits. There are far more of these kids out there then there are scholarship slots. </p>
<p>Many parents state their child received a full ride, when in fact it was grants, merit and loans. From what you wrote, your child will not be eligible for grants. </p>
<p>Do your child a service and plan to help financially. If she can get a full ride, fantastic! But please do not assume that there will be full rides available, academically or athletically. Set up realistic expectations for yourself and your child.</p>
<p>I know lots of upper middle class parents in our area that are planning on athletic scholarship money to fund their kids’ college education. What I pay is peanuts compared to what they are spending on ECs. So again, what is the difference?</p>
<p>I’ve been thinking the same thing. If the OP took the time and energy she(?) is spending ■■■■■■■■ us and applied it to professional writing, she could be published.</p>
<p>This thread is about to break 100 posts. Nice trolling! I think the key to declaring the OP a ■■■■■ is the fact that no one who is that “intelligent” and sure of the rightness of her path would ever ask for confirmation from strangers on a message board.</p>