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<p>What do you want? It’s college. When I did my overnight visit to Notre Dame way back when the students played drinking games with the priests. Cornell is actually more strict about alcohol than a lot of other schools.</p>
<p>It is totally possible to make friends with people who don’t drink. O-week was a great time to see who was doing what and connect with people with similar interests. Yes, drinking is prevalent, but it’s not necessary. And as others have said, many students will go to parties without drinking.</p>
<p>If your son is really feeling that isolated in his dorm, he should have been proactive about meeting people in other dorms and finding a different group.</p>
<p>Torah on Tap is not exclusive to Cornell.</p>
<p>^^Nor is drinking. For goodness sake, drinking on college campuses is wide spread. Cornell has no more, nor less, than other colleges, including the other Ivies. If you want a school with little or no drinking, it will have to be a religious school. For instance, Brigham Young has very little or no drinking.</p>
<p>Cornell, however, is more like the “real world.” There are drinkers and non-drinkers. There are things to do that do not involve drinking and others where people are drinking.</p>
<p>I understand the op is a hs student and concerned. But there is no college where all of the students drink all of the time and there are no activities that don’t involve drinking. It is YOUR decision whether to drink or not, and there are many things to do that do not involve drinking at Cornell or any other college.</p>
<p>^ Well-said!</p>
<p>My D is in a sorority at Cornell. Several of the girls she is close to do not drink at all but go to the parties and have a great time. My younger D visited her sister and went to a frat party. They went up to a table and were offered a beer, but both asked for water and the guy behind the table didn’t flinch and happily gave them water instead. My younger D had been concerned about being a non-drinker in greek life - but after this experience and meeting numerous non-drinkers in greek life, she realized that she would have no problem. </p>
<p>It is the real world and it’s great when kids learn that they can make choices and that others will respect those choices. If friends don’t respect your choices in life, then you need new friends.</p>
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<p>since they were not all charged with littering, I’m assuming it was a crappy party :(</p>
<p>Drinking is prevalent at most colleges, not just Cornell & the reality is that it’s prevalent at most high schools. (unfortunately) Just like in HS, those that don’t want to drink in college don’t have to - no one will make you. </p>
<p>The amount of drinking at Cornell runs the gamut, just like in the real world. There are those that drink too much, those that have “a drink” socially, and those that don’t drink at all. Just because you don’t want to get wasted, it doesn’t mean you can’t go to parties, hang out at the bars, and have fun.</p>
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<p>I’m the parent of a student who just finished her third year at Cornell. She doesn’t drink. She has plenty of friends. Most of them are either nondrinkers or occasional drinkers. </p>
<p>It is true that nondrinkers are in the minority at Cornell. But so what? You don’t need to be part of the majority. All you need is a couple of dozen friends whose lifestyles are reasonably compatible with your own. You will find them.</p>
<p>Dear Parents,</p>
<p>I also tell my parents that I drink very little, which is a lie. Maybe your kids actually don’t drink, but remember their responses are biased</p>
<p>^lol (10char)</p>
<p>There are 3 aspects of the Cornell experience that help in this case … first, Cornell is a big school so there a ton of students whose social life does not revolve around drinking (if 1/3 of the students do not drink that leaves 4000+ students to hang with) … second, the size also ensures that there is not a dominant social scene on campus (for exampe, I was never into the frat scene and that was not an issue at all) … third, the school and Ithaca provide a ton of options for students (drinking, athletic, arts, food, etc). </p>
<p>Personally small LACs in small rural towns are the schools that I would be the most concerned that the drinking culture might be hard to escape.</p>
<p>My kid doesn’t need to tell me how much or how little she is drinking. All I would have to do is to look at her body weight. It’s good that most kids think their parents are stupid.</p>
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<p>Shhh… my parents still think I gained 10 pounds during senior week due to all of the free food.</p>
<p>im not sure if that’s so accurate. I’ve kind of noticed generally that the girls I know who go out (and drink) regularly are skinnier than the general student population. I think they’re more conscious of their eating throughout the day because they feel more pressure to look good. I see a lot of the nerdier kids are often larger because they eat tons of junk food while they study etc. a night of drinking for a small girl is still fewer calories than muffins and bagels throughout the day.</p>
<p>I am not comparing my daughter with other people. I just know her and her weight situation. If she gains 5 lbs, it would be because of little bit too much partying. It may not be the case with other people.</p>
<p>My D is honest about her drinking. I would never claim that she does not drink. And I know that she has had a few, or so…, over indulgent nights. And, as a parent, I always have concerns.</p>
<p>But she is an adult. She is graduating this weekend w/ a high gpa (was a 3.9 but maybe lower after this semester after taking a particularly hard computer science programming course) and a good job waiting for her starting in July. </p>
<p>She held 3 jobs while at Cornell, was a leader in several of her ec’s and did volunteer work since freshman yr. </p>
<p>So if she wants to let loose and have a good time, I don’t mind. If it started to effect her life, ie lower grades, missing work, etc., I would be concerned. Her father and I drink. So, I guess she could say then same thing.</p>
<p>Motto of many students: Work hard, party harder</p>
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<p>Consider the possibility that there’s something wrong, either with your drinking habits or with your relationship with your parents.</p>
<p>You are right. I “party” heavily and I do not like my parents. That has nothing to do with what I said. None of my friends tell their parents how often they go out or how much they drink. Most parents I know tend to condone drinking in general, but when they do hear about it, its always scaled down.</p>