<p>I was sad before S1 left – but once he showed me around campus on move-in weekend, those feelings fell away. He was SO happy and I could see all the reasons why he chose it. About a week, I had a big wave of sadness that I wasn’t expecting, having gotten through move-in succesfully. It lasted about a week. I miss him terribly, but I am carving out other parts of my life and getting S2 launched.</p>
<p>With my son we still had one at home (though for a year instead of the expected 3) which made it easier I think. He was not far away though we did not see much of him.</p>
<p>Like an earlier poster my daughter chose to go to boarding school her junior year. It was tough as we really didn’t want her to go there but were supportive of her decision. We did not have that lead up time like when they leave for college and we were very active supporters of her ECs, swimming and band, at her home high school so it really was difficult. Then she went through a very traumatic loss just before she left for boarding school and it was even harder to leave her in the hands of strangers. It turned out to be a miserable experience for her but she is very mule headed and stuck with it which made for a miserable and stressful 2 years for us all. Leaving her at college was a breeze after all that!</p>
<p>There are two things that will make it easier:</p>
<p>(1) you still have kid(s) left at home, and most importantly
(2) your s/d is a car ride away from home. Mentally, this makes a HUGE difference.</p>
<p>Two things that will make it VERY difficult:
(1) it’s your last, or it’s your last and they’re TWINS, and most importantly
(2) your s/d is a long way from home, a couple of plane rides away. The finality can be overwhelming.</p>
<p>And then there is always this article from Time magazine: [Empty-Nest</a> Workshops: Parents Reconnect After Kids - TIME](<a href=“http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1916284,00.html]Empty-Nest”>http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1916284,00.html) “Learning to Live (and Love) in an Empty Nest”</p>
<p>Wow, it’s good to hear the I am not some sort of cold hearted mom. D is a rising Sr. in FL and son just left for AL - we are in IL. I could not be sad when we left our daughter because she was SO happy (and still is). Was not sad for S either - more worried that he will be back (it’s lots of freedom for a kid who was on a really short leash with his HS’s honor code). But still happy for them both!</p>
<p>I did a lot of crying before S (only child) left. He did a lot of crying, too, because he really wasn’t all that sure he wanted to go. Dropped him off on Wednesday, and neither one of us cried! Even better, I got an e-mail on Friday saying “Everything is going excellently. :)”</p>
<p>The house is quiet and empty, though it’s nice not tripping over shoes and dirty clothes in the living room…</p>
<p>I thought about starting a “not sad” thread, too. I’m actually glad my two oldest (both at fly-away schools, and S working away this summer) are out of the house! I really want them to move on with their lives–they are happy, I’m happy. I feel less stressed when they’re gone. They’re learning, enjoying themselves. It’s good for all of us. </p>
<p>(Disclaimer–I have 5 kids still at home and my empty nest is 14 years down the road. . .)</p>
<p>^ Wow! So you have seven kids? Or eight?</p>
<p>I thought there was something wrong with me last year when all the other mothers were crying I and was doing a happy dance when my first left for college. With Thanksgiving and almost a month at Christmas, and our trip up to a football game, there wasn’t a problem. I was used to the three or four weeks trips away so it wasn’t until the return trip in Janurary that I felt sad. Spring break seemed far away and very uncertain. A good friend advised me to plan a short family trip during the Christmas break since my kid is always running around with the other kids that are home from college. </p>
<p>Also, tip to all: If you hear Josh Groban’s YOU LIFT ME UP on the radio ( or anything sad), change the station immediately.</p>
<p>SR: We have seven (living) children. (To answer the questions that always follow: all ours, by birth, not a blended family).</p>
<p>Kids come home for Xmas and summer (if that). We’d never seen S’s school and visited once at the end of junior year–airfare was cheap. Other than that (and, graduation. . .) we don’t plan to visit. We do talk on the phone once or twice a week and feel like we’re in touch.</p>
<p>Our kids probably don’t feel motivated to come “home,” either. We moved after S was in college and for D’s senior year of HS, so the place is not familiar to them and they have few friends here. We’ve moved so many times, I’m not sure what they could be homesick for. (Can’t be Mom’s cooking!) College is where they prefer to be. If anything, I’m envious. (Youth is wasted on all the wrong people. . .)</p>
<p>We have lived in the same house all their lives so mine have many friends here. Still, they both refer to their college towns as “going back home” when they are here visiting.</p>
<p>I am glad they are happy where they are. I didn’t cry when they went to kindergarten either because both were so darn excited about riding the school bus!</p>
<p>I am so glad I found this thread. We drop our first son off to college in the big city on the other side of the country on Sunday and I have only felt excitement for him and not a sense of loss for myself. I was wondering if I was off base or in denial. I guess I’ll know for sure Monday when we board the flight back home…</p>
<p>We’re all different. I was happy for both of my kids when we dropped them off for school. I’m glad hubby & I have each other and can now spend more time together and don’t have to be concerned about our kids’ schedules & driving them to & fro. We were happy with the obvious excitement & delight both experienced when they arrived at their campus. There was no room for any of us to feel sad, honestly. We were happy for them and happy for us that things had come together so nicely.</p>
<p>We do love our kids and are very close to them but had always known that we wanted them to be independent and are happy that it is working out so well for them.</p>
<p>We have friends who have a severly autisitic son. They were so grateful that he became functional enough that he could live in a group home as an adult, they didn’t even think that he would ever be able to live in a group home and would have to live with them. My H had dinner with them over the weekend and the son is in his 30’s now. He was kicked out of his group home for being too disruptive, they are trying to get his medicine regulated so that he can go back to his group home.</p>
<p>I always think of that when I become sad that my children are leaving. It could be so much different and to have children who are successful enough to go away to college and to be happy there. How can I be sad about that. </p>
<p>Both of my kids are very far from home and do not come home very much. I don’t like that but they are both at the place that is the best fit for them. I don’t want them to stay close to me because that is the best thing for me. That seems selfish.</p>
<p>I took my D back to school and left her there with a huge smile on her face. My H and I had a great dinner out and are making plans to do things. It’s all good. I’ll be the happiest person in the world when I visit them.</p>
<p>I have a good friend with Down’s Syndrome. He is a wonderful young man (I believe in his 30s) and projected to have a less than full life expectancy. She will always have him live with her and has made many life choices to accommodate his needs and abilities, including starting several organizations helping integrate special needs folks with others. They have a wonderful life but I am grateful that she has been able to make things work as terrifically as she has. I am also incredibly grateful for the kids I have and they are self-sufficient (there have been many times where we wondered if they would be because of their significant chronic health issues which caused them to miss huge amounts of school).</p>
<p>We are so happy for our kids taking more and more steps independently and are happy to be “guides on the side” rather than “sages on the stage.” It is exciting to be freed to develop our passions as we see best.</p>
<p>i really enjoyed reading through all of these posts. i am like mafool–not complicated enough to feel both excitement and sadness at once, so i always alternate between the two…and in addition, it is my youngest and he’s indeed a long ways away! every year has been tough, but quickly i move on to other things. this year is a bit more touching as it’s a senior year and i think too far ahead…i shouldn’t do that, but i am enjoying each moment knowing that this is the last few weeks he will “live” at home.</p>
<p>I’m happy to see my son go, but we did a lot of things together–things that I’ll have to do by myself now (my wife and daughter are not interested in seeing movies about GI Joe or the Transformers, for example). Things like that make me sad–for me, of course, not for him.</p>
<p>Talk about denial-- I had to ask my s a question about his schedule so I could book some airline tix. Somehow forgot that the time difference where he is is 1 hr “earlier” there, not later, so accidentally woke him at 8:30, thinking it was 10:30. Oops :o</p>