Dropping football to foucs on newspaper and political club

<p>Son is a junior varsity football player throughout high school. He is not very big in physique and thus he is not very good at it. However, he loves the football and has been involved in it. Recently he became involved in political club and became president of it. In addition he is senior editor of his school’s prestigious newspaper. He is good in these things as compare to football. However, these all things are time consuming and he as to drop something as it is very tiresome. Son is thinking to drop football as sports as he will not make any impact as he will not be recruited. He wants to join Ultimate Frisbee so he can also prepare for Intel. </p>

<p>As a parent I have always told him to do what he likes and go for Ultimate Frisbee. I told him that it is okay to drop football and focus on other activities. Do you think that consistency of not playing a single sport will be viewed by the elite colleges as not a good thing? I am hoping that you could provide me other views as any appropriate suggestions would be welcomed. Thanks</p>

<p>I don't think it matters at all, as long as he remains consistent with his two other interests. Both of my kids dropped sports (neither listed them on app - your son might want to, being a Varsity athlete) and both got into excellent schools. You're right, colleges don't really care about sports unless recruitment factors in.</p>

<p>Sorry, just reread and realized he plays JV - certainly shouldn't matter then.</p>

<p>I think that if he doesn't want to play football, then he should drop it. What kind of schools is he planning on applying to? Many of my S's friends dropped their sports Senior year, they just had too many things going on to play on a JV team that they knew they would not have much playing time.</p>

<p>He is applying to elite colleges. He wants to play football but time constraint is a big factor.</p>

<p>It really shouldn't matter at all. Becoming self aware of a situation and changing directions a bit... isn't a bad thing, it's called learning.</p>

<p>Another way to look at it is if a college put your son down for this well thought out decision....well screw them, find another.</p>

<p>Elite colleges look at the activity lists of a potential student for two reasons:
to see if an applicant "fills a gap" in the class they are building, and ...
to see what makes the applicant "tick"
Your son's football is not going to impact either one of these.
Besides, what is the alternative? If he burns out due to lack of time (because he's taken on too much) his grades and other EC involvement will only suffer. And he'll be miserable.</p>

<p>I think (seriously) you should hold a graduation ceremony and party to celebrate his quitting football. Invite all his friends from his football days over, celebrate the "old days", get him a plaque or a trophy or make a funny certificate, and prepare to move on.</p>

<p>My son played JV freshman year and made varsity in his sophomore year. He has the ideal "football build" and was a very good football player but it never really clicked with him as something he LOVED to do. On top of that, football left very little time for him to pursue other interests and activities, especially as he carries a full slate of honors and AP classes at a very rigorous school. Something had to give.</p>

<p>At the end of last season, he decided not to continue with football. The coaches gave him a lot of grief about his decision, and so did some of his teammates. We also had several "team parents" tell us we were nuts to let him drop out because "he could get a football scholarship some day!"</p>

<p>We told him not to worry about any of that and just follow his heart. He did just that, getting very involved with the school's theater program. He's had a terrific experience with theater - truly seems to have found a passion - and, even though the time committment is just as intense as football, he's loved every minute of it. A plus for us is we no longer worry about rushing him to the hospital during games (in the two years he played, he broke his arm and had two concussions - football is a dangerous sport!)</p>

<p>True, there won't be any football scholarships in his future, but the chances of winning one are slim under the best of circumstances. And, he didn't love football enough to want to continue playing it in college so he wouldn't get any sort of admissions edge in that regard either even without the scholarship. Your son, as a JV player, also won't get much of a boost, if any, in admissions at elite schools --- the kids that get an admissions boost at those schools are the ones who are good enough to play college football. </p>

<p>Now, maybe my son will get an admissions boost from his involvement with theater, maybe he won't. And, don't get me wrong - I'm not saying that kids who LOVE football shouldn't play it. </p>

<p>But, there's a whole world out there to explore and get involved with. Life is too short to do things SOLELy because it <em>might</em> look good on a college application someday. This is especially true when you are 15 or 16 and just beginning to understand what makes you smile. :) In my opinion, no child should do something JUST for college -- they should do it because they love it, because they want to and I think colleges can sniff out the kids who are just adding tickmarks to a resume pretty easily.</p>

<p>Mini, I love your idea of the "graduation ceremony." Wish I'd thought of that for my son.</p>

<p>Carolyn,
That reminds me of my child who played the oboe. She dropped it at the end of eighth grade - didn't want to be pulled out of classes for lessons in HS- had enough other stuff going on. Everyone said she was nuts ... that the oboe was her ticket to college entry and scholarships. So ... no oboe, no sports. She found other interests - pursued them - and was accepted to two Ivies as well as Emory Scholars. She never looked back.</p>

<p>Mini, I love your idea of the "graduation ceremony." Wish I'd thought of that for my son.</p>

<p>He's not a quitter, but a graduate. I published an article on that in my most recent book:</p>

<p>We are celebrating.</p>

<p>Meera (almost 13 – my, how time flaps its wings!) is giving up the flute.</p>

<p>No, it’s not what you think, and, no, I am not being sarcastic. Meera doesn’t sound at all bad. In fact, she’s absolutely terrific, and that was part of what led her to her decision.</p>

<p>The piano has always been Meera’s first love, and remains so. She took up the flute after watching her sister rake in nickels, dimes, quarters, dollars, (and occasional $20’s!) at street fairs and farmers’ markets by playing her violin, enough to pay for a new instrument, a telescope-making workshop, a wolf-tracking expedition in Idaho, a folk harp and some lessons. The main attraction of the flute, initially, was that 1) it was portable; and 2) through my wife, we already had one. A better flute was eventually necessary, and materialized at just the proper moment on eBay.</p>

<p>It didn’t take long for Meera to become quite adept at her instrument. A couple of listens to James Galway’s renditions of “Oh Danny Boy”, the Beatle’s “In My Life”, and Eric Clapton’s “Tears in Heaven”, the addition of several Broadway show tunes, the Shaker hymn “Simple Gifts”, and a sprinkling of Bach and Handel, and she was ready for prime time. “For My New Puppy,” the sign handsomely scrawled and attached to a shoebox, brought in the cash, sometimes at an alarming rate. To my way of thinking, we already had a perfectly acceptable canine, a large but docile half-Airedale/half-German Shepherd who thinks she is a miniature Cocker and wants to climb on our laps, but Meera desired a Westie – a BIG dog in a little body -- more in keeping with her own personality.</p>

<p>In short order, the required $450 was amassed, and Duncan the Sugar Donut was now usurping my place on the couch. On occasion, Meera would still go down to the farmers’ market with the same sign, only now with puppy in tow. The rate of accumulation doubled. This was somewhat puzzling, given that the little white fur ball had already made his appearance, but I think folks believed they were now contributing to Duncan’s college education, and he seems, unlike our yellowish-brown carpetdweller, intelligent enough to likely benefit from it.</p>

<p>Meera soon enrolled in our local youth symphony, and learned all the little rituals and dress codes and conventions that come with playing formally with a group of people. She was pleased that the flutes didn’t sit right out front, exposed to direct public scrutiny. She made friends quickly with her fellow flautists, commented once that the first trumpeter was cute, and seemed to be holding her own just fine, with very little practice to speak of.</p>

<p>That’s exactly what made the enterprise begin to unravel. Meera is good, so good in fact that, with a little effort, she might have competed successfully for a place in the senior orchestra, occupied mostly by high school juniors and seniors. But she would lose the social benefits of playing with her chronological peers in the junior symphony. The flipside, however, is that the current music staples offered her little in the way of challenge and, as her piano repertoire is expanding rapidly, conspicuously less so as time goes on. In short, she was somewhat trapped by her giftedness.</p>

<p>Quakers have an aphorism that when things do not seemingly present themselves with an easy or obvious direction, we say the “way will open”. And, sure enough, it did. Last summer, Meera went with a cousin of ours to an evening of modern jazz at a local cafe. (Olympia, as it turns out, has a relatively disproportionate share of fine musicians in all genres – jazz, rock, classical, folk, even opera!) At the end of the evening, as the venue was emptying out, Meera stepped up to the piano, and played from memory the classical version of a piece of Spanish music that the combo had turned into one of its own numbers. Instant sparks! She immediately befriended the 55-year-old saxophonist, stricken with childhood polio, but who had earlier in his career played with the jazz legend John Coltrane (with whom Meera was already familiar.) (There’s more about Meera’s “meeting up” with the adult world in “Meera’s New Friends”; if you want to, skip ahead. Don’t worry – I won’t mind, and no one else will know.)</p>

<p>Now they spend literally hours on the phone together talking about jazz and life (and all those things that are easier not to talk about with your parents when you’re 12.). She occasionally goes over to his house to listen to rehearsals (ironically, his wife is a flautist), and is soaking it all in. The saxophonist is undertaking to teach her jazz theory.</p>

<p>And Meera knows what she wants to do. Without at all abandoning the two hours she spends each day at the piano with her classical repertoire, she wants jazz vocal lessons. It is as if things have come full circle, or at least a turn of the spiral is completed. Six years ago, Meera taught herself to read by following along in the words as she learned to play Gershwin standards. Michael Feinstein and Ella Fitzgerald (with a little Laura Nyro thrown into the mix) were constant companions. Now, Diana Krall CDs are coming home from the library, and “Besame Mucho” is number one on our household’s current hit parade. Who knows what’s next?</p>

<p>In the meantime, we’ve invited Richard the flute teacher over for dinner and a celebration. We want to commemorate the event. We expect to do some picture-taking – of him, Meera, and Duncan of course – spend some time listening to their combined repertoire, and sharing some non-alcoholic toasts. Maybe we’ll invite the jazz people over, too. There will be some presents – for both teacher and graduate – and perhaps I’ll convince Aliyah to compose a flute duet for the occasion. (“Bad idea,” says my wife, who is always right about these things, “should be for flute and piano.”) Then the flute will be laid carefully and ceremonially in its case. Another learning adventure brought to successful fruition, and another one launched. Not a quitter, but a graduate. I can barely wait for the next episode!</p>

<p>P.S. Meera’s flute will not be reappearing on eBay any time soon; I have my suspicions that we haven’t heard the last of it yet.</p>

<p>Mini, Can you adopt me? :)
Seriously, both of your daughters are blessed to have you in their corner.</p>

<p>Here's an additional point. First, I agree with everyone. If he doesn't want to play don't make him play. However. There is one scenario in which football matters even if your kid will never be recruited. That is if football allows the kid to break out of the stereotype. For example, the poetry-writing football player. The math nerd football player. The gay theater-kid football player. Even the Chinese football player. Breaking a stereotype can make you memorable. Still no reason to repeatedly risk breaking your neck IMO, but should be mentioned.</p>

<p>Alumother</p>

<p>Asian nerd football player hahahahhahaa :)</p>

<p>He konws football statitics on his fingertrips. In addiition, he has a radio show dedicated to football. He loves the competition but does not have physical attributes to play himself.</p>

<p>Agree with all of the above and love the wisdom and joy in mini's graduation ritual.</p>

<p>Footnote: for his college application, I think a segue from a couple of years of football to a couple of years of Ultimate Frisbee will look fine on the app. These ECs will show up lower down on his EC "chart" as they are usually asked for in order of importance to the applicant. Thus, the newspaper and political club will show up higher, consistent over several years, with leadership and showing passion (presumably via essays etc). The two different sports will show a kid who has cared to maintain a commitment to sport, in general, fitness and team play. And can manage his time to have that balance while commiting significant time to his most treasured activities.</p>

<p>Forget college. Learning to give up things and activities to focus on those you love more is part of growing up.</p>

<p>However, for Asian males, showing you can hit and get hit is still important in America. Sorry that that is true. But I am right here. You can choose to pay no attention to the stereotyping, or, if you want, you can choose to fight it. If it comes naturally to the son of the OP to fight it, more power to him. More. Power. To. Him.</p>

<p>D is an RA for the Brown summer program. She has one HS girl that supposedly plays oboe. Her mother emails my D every week to remind the girl to practice. D hasn't seen or heard an oboe all summer:)</p>

<p>Based on my personal experience, quit now and save his knees.</p>

<p>Well still this will be his decision. As a parent my duty is to tell him good and bad and let him be aware of both sides. However, after that it will be entirely his decision. I have told him that to grow up he has to make his own decisions and learn from them. he has to trust his instinct. When he chose to go to prep school, we did not have means but have supported his decision all his life. </p>

<p>Mini: His favorite passion is politics. He has learned hard way that he got an award worth few grand and then once they knew he was republican, committee withdrew awards on the basis of lack of money even though they like the project as it has nothing to do with politics and funded other projects which were costlier. He got still necessary $10,000 from other private foundation grants and has completed the project but it was rough for him. We do not want to fight but still laugh that how being a republican can create a problem even for right things. But it is life and everyday you learn something new.</p>

<p>Based on your comments, I think my kid is wiser than us that he has chosen to forget football. He is done and moved to do what he loves most.</p>