<p>My DS is excited about starting at UA in the fall, visited there with his Dad and fell in love. Then we were given tickets at the last minute to the Championship game here in South Florida and it was a done deal! Being OOS, he doesn’t really know anyone well enough to ask them to room with him, so when his time came to select his room he signed up for a room in the dorm that he decided on (Riverside), and left it at that. We checked his crimson email yesterday and found a message from one of the boys assigned to his room saying that 3 out of his group of 4 buddies (who have been friends forever and are also pledge brothers) are assigned to DS’s room. They need my son’s room to keep their group together and want him out. At this late point what are my son’s chances of getting another room in his dorm of choice (Riverside)? If he stays put it will certainly be a problem for him as these guys would likely hold a grudge that the group has been separated. I don’t want this situation to taint his first experience away at college! Any suggestions?</p>
<p>hmmm… Haven’t heard of that happening before. I wonder why the other three just didn’t pull in the fourth guy when they had the chance. ??? Anyway, I agree that it would not be a good situation. I would contact Housing tomorrow (Monday) and let them know your situation. Maybe they can find another open spot in Riverside. I would also email housing right now and fill them in. Please let us know how it goes.</p>
<p>Hello docmama and welcome. Yuck to this situation! Ok, does your S know where this boy #4 is currently? Perhaps he has a room that D could switch with? Is the system up where you can go in and look to see what is available? I’d certainly call Housing on Monday to see how they can help. I’d have the same concern as you about the guys holding a grudge, though your S could end up being guy #5 in a group of best buds. You never know.</p>
<p>Is your son honors? There are a couple of rooms I know of looking for a 4th boy but none in Riverside.</p>
<p>I agree on moving if you can for your son’s sake.</p>
<p>What an unfortunate position to be in. Has the boy who contacted your son indicated where their fourth person is currently assigned? Perhaps your son can offer to do a room swap with him if the other young man is in Riverside. Or tell the threesome that if they can get him into another room in Riverside he’d be willing to help them out. I probably would also call housing just to get the lay of the land and find out whether there are single rooms available where your son would be willing to live. As awkward as it might be in the fall if he doesn’t move, I would not give up the room until a satisfactory alternate room is found.</p>
<p>Having been through roommate h*ll with my daughter the one piece of advice I would give is - don’t move until you have a GOOD place to go. My daughter was pushed to go “from the frying pan into the fire” ie trading one bad roommate for another. No way, we encouraged her to wait it out and suddenly a GOOD option appeared. I don’t know how AU’s housing works but don’t rush into anything.</p>
<p>Thanks for all the advice, everyone! I think we are going to email and communicate directly with housing before responding to the young man so that we have an idea of exactly where we stand. A call will be placed first thing in the morning. I’ll keep you posted!</p>
<p>My nephew was treated same way. He said sorry but no and left it at that. The guy trying to arrange for all his buddies told N he was gay…I guess he thought it would make N uncomfortable, but N just said that was fine, didn’t bother him. Guy ended up moving. Bottom line is that it is your son’s room. If he thinks it will be problem, have him tell other guys that he will consider switching if they find him another place he wants to go.</p>
<p>Call housing and tell them the situation. Try to talk to Janine and tell her that you’re on College Confidential. </p>
<p>Yes, it is your son’s room and he doesn’t have to move. However, if he digs his heels in, he may find himself in a suite with an unpleasant atmosphere.</p>
<p>This smacks of strong-arm tactics. I would hazard a guess that these 3 saw an open room, snagged it (with three), and later needed to add a 4th. My own S’s suite is in Riverside. (He no longer has a vacancy, tho, BTW.) It is a great location, and I know that something will work out for your son. Fortunately this happened now, rather than later in the summer. There is time to get this put right. Good luck.</p>
<p>this same thing happened with someone else on here last year or the year before. idk what the outcome was. </p>
<p>i think it is better to go ahead and switch, especially if your son doesn’t know any of these guys.</p>
<p>I get the feeling that housing would be very responsive to this situation. My son had questions about housing selection, as he chose to live with 3 of his friends that are his age next year. (Nothing wrong with his current roommates at all!) He said that housing started asking many questions to make sure he wasn’t being “pushed out”. DS said that if it were true, he got the feeling that housing would have really helped him out.</p>
<p>^^Yes was going to add, ignore written policies that encourage you to wait and see and call now. “Squeaky wheel” and all. Most of time school will help you and maybe even get him somewhere better than is now.</p>
<p>While the proper response to the 3 people trying to switch the OP’s son with a 4th pledge brother would be “a lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine,” I would not recommend that the OP’s son stay in that room and instead find another room, preferably in a better location. I lived with 3 roommates who were close friends before and it was annoying to say the least. If the OP’s son isn’t pledging, there is even more reason to switch rooms as those pledging often have very different schedules.</p>
<p>College is about learning how to say no. Just say it.</p>
<p>Seems to me the best solution is for one of the three amigos in your son’s room to vacate the suite ASAP, leaving two in your suite, and two without a room. Then the roomless-two can team up and find space together nearby. </p>
<p>They ought to be able to keep the friendship going as long as no single buddy is isolated.</p>
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<p>College is about learning to make the decisions that are in your own best interest. Sometimes that involves saying no, and sometimes it does not.</p>
<p>Very sage advice SoCalDad. If that was my son, I’d encourage him to consider the consequences of standing his ground and deciding to live in an uncomfortable situation for a year. Hard to see an upside there.</p>
<p>Totally agree with SoCalDad. I think just saying No in this situation is probably the worst move one could make. I don’t think it’s wise for docmama’s son to immediately relinquish the room without having an alternative landing spot with which he’s happy, but to be completely unaccommodating and not even try to be involved in a solution that works for all (even though it IS his room to which he’s entitled and he’s well within his rights to do that) is almost certain to result in a miserable freshman living experience. Since Housing provides the names/e-mail addresses of roommates and permits room swaps among students (without which this request would not occur), I’m sure they’ve seen this situation many times and can probably offer some assistance.</p>
<p>I know things have changed, since the “old days” and everything old is not better. However, this is why I really think housing should be much more random. Something to be said for “meeting new people”! I know there are horror stories about the monster roommate, but also, finding out your best friend has some habits you don’t agree with can be worse.</p>