<p>Thanks again for all your input. I just spoke with housing and was told NOT to respond to the email just yet. The housing office themselves have no way of knowing what is available at the moment. Tonight at 4pm central, he can go into the system and see what is open that might be a good fit. They stressed that he is under no obligation at all to move, and that “friends since they were kids” is not a reason to ask someone to move. I’m leaving this in DS’s hands now, but I’ll certainly let everyone here know our status. I really appreciate all the kind and insightful answers to my OP.</p>
<p>That sounds like a plan! Hope it all works out for him and am anxious to hear what he decides. :)</p>
<p>“The housing office themselves have no way of knowing what is available at the moment.”</p>
<p>really? i can’t imagine why not.</p>
<p>I would imagine there are more than a few students that haven’t firmly decided on Bama but have made a housing selection. Everything is still up in the air until after May and even then there may be some changes.</p>
<p>Best of luck with his decision, but nothing is really set in stone until summer!</p>
<p>So Cal: Blah to the rhetoric… or should I cover all bases and add that not all rhetoric is blah. </p>
<p>OP-Men like to play funny games with each other. Sometimes regarding a dorm room or cubicle or corner office, he has to say, I earned it. It’s mine!</p>
<p>Your son should stand firm and suggest the 3 guys find an empty 4 person suite.</p>
<p>No thank you gentlemen, I am good staying put.</p>
<p>He is not being selfish or difficult, he is just keeping his first choice.
They can pressure some other kid.
He needs to inform Housing he is staying in an official email.</p>
<p>Caution:the other guys may lie to Housing about him giving consent to move him out, so do not let him make ANY promises.</p>
<p>I suggest to not respond to the email. Just stay put. As students decide on other colleges, there will be open suites, and the foursome can find a place then.</p>
<p>If your son took the trouble to deposit early, choose a room he wanted, he should not be pressured into giving up his choice. If the lifelong foursome truly wanted to be together, they should have all deposited early and picked an empty suite when there were plenty available.</p>
<p>Beer… I don’t believe “the other guys” can lie to Housing about anything that would force someone out. (at this point they can’t complain about lack of fit - they have spent 0 time together)</p>
<p>There is a room swap procedure setup for this kind of thing. And that’s if there is not an open spot in the same residence that Housing could find. </p>
<p>That is if the Son wanted to move to avoid the grief.</p>
<p>I just think it’s too early to make a move. Let the other group try to resolve the situation on their own. If your son moves, he might find himself in the same situation again with another group. Perhaps your son will meet some kids at Bama Bound that he may want to room with and can do the room swap then. Good luck!</p>
<p>*Quote:
College is about learning how to say no. Just say it.</p>
<p>============
College is about learning to make the decisions that are in your own best interest. Sometimes that involves saying no, and sometimes it does not.*</p>
<p>Agree with the second part. A person can say “no” when the others aren’t in power to make your life miserable for a long time.</p>
<p>^^^to quote the wise one above:</p>
<p>“A person can say “no” when the others aren’t in power to make your life miserable for a long time.”</p>
<p>Been there, done that, but didn’t get the tee shirt. Where is the like button? That post was exactly right on the money. You’d be surprised to find out just how long a year can be in this situation. I’d be persistent with Housing about exploring other possible options.</p>
<p>This is a reason for student’s to change their proxy codes if they’ve been pulled into a suite by another student.</p>
<p>Good luck to the OP and her son.</p>
<p>Agree with bamagirls and those with the same sentiments.
A year is a LONG time to be that close to 3 people and their friend that will be there 24/7 that are resentful towards the 1 that THEY think is “splitting them up”. </p>
<p>I’d talk to housing today after 4 and see if there is a room in the same building with an empty spot. I’d even look on the FB group to see if there is anyone looking for 1 person to be in their room they already have. He could even post on the FB group that he already has an assignment but is looking for a better situation to move. </p>
<p>Yes, if these 4 were THAT hooked at the hip to each other then they should have gotten their deposits in as early as possible. If just 1 of them had gotten their deposit in on the first day then all 4 of them would have had a room together and no issue. The poor planning on their part should not negatively effect someone else that planned properly. But, we all know that is not always the case. They can make his life miserable the entire year.</p>
<p>In my opinion the best suggestion has been to tell the threesome that he will move out if they can find him an acceptable alternative. Give them ownership of the problem! If they aren’t willing to work to find an acceptable alternative, then apparently their desire to live together isn’t as strong as they’re claiming. Also it provides the ability to later say <em>I</em> was perfectly willing to help you out and switch rooms, but it was <em>you</em> that failed to make it happen.</p>
<p>If he prefers to just stay where he’s at, then that’s an option. There’s no guarantee he’ll get along with his roommates, even if he chooses a different room. Back when I was in college, I had not 1, but 2 consecutive NIGHTMARE roomate situations (and survived both). Then my third college roommate and I became close friends, did everything together, until…she dropped out of school. (That’s when I swore I’d NEVER have another roommate). My son hasn’t developed friendships with any of his roommates this year. He does get along great with the group that lives in the suite directly across the hall, so he just spends most of his time over in their room.</p>
<p>I agree with Aggie84 in that housing might be better being a lot more random. Sure some people find best friends via the FB page or roommate finder, but others use those resources and still wind up having issues. I wonder if the number of roommate conflicts is significantly different between those that select their roommates and those that are randomly placed.</p>
<p>Three years ago, as an incoming freshman, this happened to my son. Over the summer, he was contacted by all 3 roommates, with one being quite persistent, to switch rooms with a 4th boy so all 4 friends could be together. The boys were all sophomores and it was clear they did not want to live with a random individual. Son was somewhat stressed about the prospect of living in a possibly hostile environment and I was worried that the arrangement could become a distraction and a problem in adjustment to college. </p>
<p>A couple of weeks before the start of school, he decided to switch rooms. Bad move. The suitemate in the next room played his TV and video games so loudly my son’s sleep schedule was dicatated by when this guy went to bed (usually 3 am). One suitemate was served papers for DUI and drugs. The other one literally never picked up after himself so garbage was all over the floor. The entire suite was given some kind of health hazard warning. Eventually, son went to Housing and asked for a transfer and was offered one.</p>
<p>The irony of it all, the persistent guy who wrote asking him to switch so their friend can room with them, became son’s physics lab partner. My son and this guy had a lot in common and became good friends. Son spent a lot of time next door with the guys who would have been his original roommates. Second semester, when their 4th friend left for spring semester abroad, they asked my son to move into their suite. He put in a request, but Housing put a random transfer student instead.</p>
<p>You just never know how these things work out.</p>
<p>Well, we finally resolved the issue. Thanks to everyone here for all the suggestions, especially Mom2collegekids for suggesting I speak with Janine. When I first spoke with her she was already aware of the situation as she had been following this thread. She was wonderful and helped us clear everything up. We wound up moving my son to Riverside West on the same floor he had in East. Apparently rooms were going fast, so I think we made the right decision in moving him now as opposed to later when things got uncomfortable. I’m so glad my son is a part of this lovely, vibrant community. Roll Tide!</p>
<p>So glad you got this resolved! :). Roll Tide.</p>
<p>Great resolution. I just wanted to note that the guys who asked for this favor are not necessarily obnoxious, mean, or even unreasonable. It all depends on how nicely they asked.</p>
<p>I’m glad this was resolved. It could have been a reasonable request if they were also working with housing as they did this. I;m impressed that UA got this taken care of. But had they not, your son could say that he had put the request in for a switch and would be glad to move when housing found him a room.</p>
<p>Great news, Docmama! Roll Tide!!</p>
<p>Probably the best outcome for your son…Roll Tide!</p>