@OHMomof2 . Nice idea. We wrote letters to the kid’s about how proud were are of them and about their new journey/experience with some words of wisdom. Put it in somewhere they will unbox early in the process.
But I am laughing to myself about all of this. First to all first timers… it’s gets better,give it a week or two.
Pro Tip: listen when they call. Just listen. Don’t try to fix everything for them. Advise them to use the resources they all ready have like their RA or their Advisor’s, learning centers. Beware of the panic call in a few days/weeks. Just listen. It will be the littlest thing to you but the biggest thing to them. They really don’t want your advice just needs to vent. I can give examples if needed.
So my senior College daughter was in the Indonesia the last month. She comes home and after a few days is ready to go back to college. We love her but we are ready also. We actually like being empty nesters…but the great thing is she has an apartment that she’s subletted over the summer all her stuff is already there but clothes and plants for this move back to school. ?.
College junior son comes home Wednesday from overseas internship and we have 2 weeks with him.
Trust me… it gets better for all of you.
Our first week when it was our first time we went to a Cubs game, had friend’s over for dinner, went to a play… went kept busy. It worked for us.
@marrast, great story!
@momtogirls2, I’ve seen some whoppers on facebook as well this week - I think we just need to chalk it all off to parents’ trying to cope with their kids leaving and acting out in sometimes weird ways.
DD’s freshman roommate was from NY and called her in July before move in wanting to know if she could have the bed by the window away from the door. We thought it odd, but DD said that it would be fine. She embarassingly fessed up later in the semester that her mother suggested the arrangement so that if someone broke in the room they would assault DD first. They had a good laugh over it, and are best friends to this day.
My freshman room was originally designed as a double, was commonly used as a triple, and my year, because of an overcrowding issue had been turned into a temporary quad. 1 closet for 4 women. 2 showers for 16 women. 2 sets of bunk beds and every inch of the room used creatively.
It turned into a bonding experience. When a room opened up and they tried to move the 4th roommate out none of us wanted her to go. We spent the year squished but happy!
Also keep in mind that your kids were smart enough to get into said College. They can figure out where and how to hang their clothes, where to put their shower supplies, how to arrange their desks etc. Yes… Some kid’s really do need more help then others… Totally get that. But…
If/when you come back up in 6 weeks don’t be surprised that something’s are still in boxes… lol… Clue you might want to take that home… Trust me on this. ?.
Seriously, just posted to twitter today a picture of a family of 6 wearing Tie-Dyed personalized t-shirts with the relationship to the student printed on the front. The Dad’s shirt was “Daddy”! My kids were horrified.
On a personal note I moved my DD in and we found that the Matress Topper had to aired out before it could be put on the bed. So the Mattress Topper was 3/4 under the bed to it reshape itself. Roomie’s Dad came in late in the day (Mom had been there previously), looked at the Matress pad and was like is that an extra bed. I almost died laughing and assured him that it was going on DD’s bed. Now I know from reading this thread, he probably thought I was sleeping there!
Don’t bring too many people to move in! So many people bring the entire extended family, that is unnecessary! When we moved D in, it was just H and I who went with her. S stayed at home. It was the same when we moved our son in last week. D didn’t come along (she had to work anyway). D’s roommate had her mom and aunt help her move in (dad was at home with younger sister). S’s roommate had just his mom and dad there. That’s perfect, you don’t need more then 3 or 4 people. (I do get that some people HAVE to bring younger siblings because they don’t have another place for them to go)
My mom took me, and we were chill. Fun XP
Dropped DS off last Friday. His sisters wanted to join mom and myself in saying goodbye. We were lucky that we were first to the room and got everything done before any roommates and their families showed up. DW was a puddle of tears on the way back home. I always have to drive after initial move in.
When I dropped off D19, there was a family that had brought granny, and I immediately thought of this thread. But granny was so clearly SO proud of her grandson going off to college (she spent the entire time beaming), that the sweetness far outweighed the extra-person space she took up.
in response to @thumper1 's comment “Dumbest thing…bringing too many people. We saw families where both parents, grandparents, multiple siblings and the student were all trying to be in the room at the same time as the roommate. These rooms aren’t very big. Leave extra people…at home.”
This was our family… appreciate the compliment (insert eye roll). Our student, her two younger siblings, both of us parents AND her maternal grandparents! First to go off and we were all beyond excited to see her new digs and be there especially considering there was no one else from her HS attending and only one other upperclassmen that she knew personally. Quite emotional event (proud/happy/sad/anxious) for all of us. She wouldn’t have had it any other way and was very happy we were all there! Her amazing college even had stickers for not only parents, but also siblings and grandparents - they welcomed having a student’s foundation there as part of the community building! So I say to each their own when it come to who to bring Move-In Day. Our daughter’s roommate (who she had never met in person) also had her entire family of 5 there… it was fun for us all to meet… and now we are all great friends (even though we live 1200 miles apart!)
I’ll counter extended family being fine but why bring boyfriends or girlfriends (the romantic interest kind)?!? That’s a little awkward to have setting up your bedroom IMO
One of my kids is friends with the girl in the pineapple story. We got a totally different perspective. She really is one of the nicest kids you will ever meet, and it hurts my heart that adults can be so mean. Remember that there are two sides to every story, and that the over-the-top decorating is not only normal, but also the way that most girls decorate their dorms at Ole Miss.
Don’t make comments about other students’ appearance. My freshman son is part of a group that arrived 2 days early to help other students on moving day. Apparently a (white) dad told my son that he was the whitest guy he’d ever seen. It offended my son who is anemic from a chronic condition (ulcerative colitis). I thought the comment was strange, but I’m rather pale too and wouldn’t be offended just find it odd that someone would feel the need to comment on another’s appearance. Here my son was helping his student move in…and that is what this parent chose to say to him? Thank you would have been enough…and my son did get a sunburn and did not feel well the next day. Impressed that my son with ASD did not make this an issue. It’s been a rough transition for him and a parent making this kind of comment is unappreciated.
I don’t think it was the over-the-top decorating that was the problem with the Pineapple story but the total lack of consideration for a new roommate and a lack of boundaries on the part of the pineapple family. As I recall the girl’s parents brought way too much stuff and pretty much “took over” the room before the roommate was moved in. Then they were defensive and difficult about removing things so the roommate’s possessions and decor could also be accommodated. When your dorm “decor” requires an RA’s intervention on grounds of safety to control it, you can’t really blame people for laughing a bit. I’ve moved two kids into dorms and both corresponded with their roommates in advance and figured out who was bringing what; each respected the other’s right to space. Oddly enough, that approach resulted in zero roommate complaints - on or off social media.
I have to agree with all the other comments that bringing the entire family generally makes the move in more difficult for the other roommates. If they have to be there, stay out of the way and out of the room till the moving in is done. Having just moved DD in and witnessing the madness, parents should help but stay quiet. Telling other parents and roommates what to do, doesn’t go over well.
I am dying from laughing my guts out!!! That was the reason my mighty Mr was not allowed to be involved in college move ins. The outfit perfectly describes his casual style. Although he would wear his special baseball cap instead of that bucket hat… His cap has the FDIC logo on it… and the explanation: “Flat-broke… Daughter In College.” He got to wear it on our Hawaiian vacations… quite a conversation stater. 
(Mr. got to redeem his lack of involvement with move in by embarrassing kid when he sat in on her neuroscience class during a parent week… )