Good point @Empireapple ! When I moved my older D 2000 miles away to school we had zero time or space to say good bye because all of her (local) roommate’s family were hanging in their small double room. It wasn’t the room arranging that was a problem, just that there was no time with my D! I remember wishing desperately that they would go away but they didn’t … so my D and I took a short walk and said our goodbyes in public. It was pretty rough on us.
@monydad , yes, we just experienced that. My son and his housemates didn’t get out of their apartment in time after graduating, and got slapped with a cleaning fine!
When we moved my son into his dorm my wife invited my mother and my aunt to tag along. I knew this was a bad idea but I could not uninvite them. We also had her nephew who was going to help with moving. It was 100 degrees on move in day and my 78 year old mother was not up for the task. Lucky we got him moved in quickly and we left within a hour and half of arrival. That was four years ago and I still rib her about it today. Watching people trying to pack a household worth of belongings in 1/2 a room is the most amusing thing you can see.
This was probably more awkward and sad than dumb, but after dropping my S17 off freshman year I witnessed a very distraught freshman girl completely lose it in public.
I had gone to dinner at a popular restaurant near campus which was packed with students reconnecting and families dropping off students–I was one of the few eating alone since I’d left S17 to hang out with his new dormmates. A mom, dad, middle school aged son and freshman (I assume) daughter were seated next to me. I was minding my own business, but my attention was drawn because the girl started loudly SOBBING. The dad looked uncomfortable, and the mom was quietly trying to calm the girl down. Every time the mom said something, the girl broke into a new fit of sobs. The weird thing is that it was obvious the girl wasn’t going to calm down, but the family stayed through the whole meal–didnt even seem to hurry or take their food to go–it was kind of surreal to see the boy nonchalantly munching his fries while the girl sobbed on. I felt for the girl, and know that she was having trouble preparing to separate, but if I were her parent, I’d have found a less public place for her to let out her emotions…
^^^Awww, @MSU88CHEng, I almost felt like I would start sobbing just reading that. Seriously ! I sincerely hope it’s not going to be ME doing that at the table when my D is about to embark in two years (I wouldn’t put it past my DH either!) Now THAT would be something, a whole family of public sobbers
One of the most poignant memories I have of dropping off last year was saying goodbye in the parking lot to my 6’3" 260 lb son, with tears streaming down his face. (And mine)
Might have been me. Dropped our daughter off, said all of our goodbyes, etc. and then I kept coming back. After a few times of doing this it was clear that I wasn’t going to do it again. I snuck back in, lied on her bed and she came in a few minutes later and there I was. That was it. My welcome was shattered by then.
Omg I really hope I can hold it together and not cry until we leave S19. Maybe it’s best to say goodbye in public - maybe in the dorm or at least near other families. I really don’t want to upset him and I want him to be excited and not worried about his mom!
@homerdog I see nothing wrong with crying. I made it until we were walking out of his dorm, about 5 hours ago!, and then I just cried! My face hurt from trying not to do it, but then I let go. My son hugged me and said, “aw, I love you mom” , we hugged again and out we went. I saw many red eyes on my way out.
I didn’t see it as weakness, or wrong etc - I saw it as being honest and natural. I’m sure your son would understand that you can be proud, excited and sad all at once!
I did however save the real sobbing for in the shower!
Smart idea today. Next Saturday madhouse replaced by an opportunity. D roommate in a suite had to move in early. Couldn’t get into room we knew but large shared storage area was available.
I said this AM “why don’t I bring up some stuff today”.
About an hour and a half drive. Went up and there were a limited amount of people dropping off. Pulled up front, grabbed a bin and three loads later 95 percent done. Next week will be drop off suitcase and mom will help to set up. Didn’t even have drop off and park. Just out on the hazards and went to work.
Thinking about missing the mayhem and parking issues etc. I cried as well. A dads cry of joy !
D1 and I had to say good-bye in private (without her dad and sister) because we were too emotional. I cried all the way home (4 hours). Dad and younger sis were just silent in the car. We were much better with D2. The older one knew the drill and was good at getting us prepped. She was already working, but took time off to get her sister moved in (made sure we didn’t embarrass her sister).
D2 went on a week long rock wall climbing trip the week before move in. We dropped her off with her stuff and it was stored. The camp instructors helped the students move in. Unknowingly, it really benefited us. D had a dorm on the 4th floor, no elevator. Thanks guys. One guy moving her in kept saying “I am young and in great shape” as he lugged her luggage up stairs.
I am not a big crier - but when I dropped D18 (who now is about to start her junior year) off the first time all the way in Ohio (I was going back to the hotel and then airport to go home), I said “well it doesn’t seem like you need me anymore so I will be getting on my way” and she said “Mom I will ALWAYS need you” – then I had to rush off not to cry because that was just the exact right thing for her to say you know?
I sobbed part of the way home in the car but kept it together the move in day.
One thing that made me feel better was going to the store and getting a “you got this” sort of mug and I wrote long note to go with it expressing my confidence and pride, and left it under her pillow.
She cried when she found it that night, in a good sort of way
My friend was moving his son into a freshman dorm at Ole Miss. His suitemates were from Texas and were smoking pot and drinking beer during move in. After complaining to the boys’ parents who blew him off, he said something to the RA and went to lunch to remove his son from the situation. When he came back there was no sign of them, they’d been expelled from school. Shortest tenure in college I’ve ever heard about!
@OHMomof2, I’m going to remember that mug idea. Thanks! She already has a “When you stumble make it part of the dance” mug that she likes so maybe I’ll send that along too
On a college parent facebook group I’m laughing at some of the families who have done early move in mostly for sports. In one suite (2 two person bedrooms with a combined common area no kitchen) the mother insisted the roommate’s closet didn’t fit in with her room design and moved it to the living room. I guess the roommate was also coming early and showed up. The girl didn’t want her closet in the living room and put it back in the bedroom.
