<p>Thought it would be easier to post this here to ask advice. </p>
<p>Our only S is going to Univ of Penn in August. We live in California and have no family/friends in PA. He was accepted into the PennQuest, which is a 4 day program where they go hiking/camping (great for him, he's an Eagle Scout). So he has to be there Sunday, Aug 28 and moves in that day. He will return to campus Sept 1st, which is the normal move in date but probably won't be there until later in the day.</p>
<p>So part of me says my husband and I should go with him on Aug 28th, get him moved in, see his room (at least), and then leave the next day (possibly go to Phili or DC) and then fly home. Another part of me says stay until he returns, still see Phili or DC (although I don't think he needs us) and meet his roommate. I visited the campus in April but didn't get to see the dorm he's moving into and my husband has never been there. We could also visit him in late October (family weekend) but not sure if that's just overkill.</p>
<p>As some of you know, I'm having more issues with him going away than my S is. Could just use some words of advice or your thoughts. Need to get reservations made pretty soon or I won't have to decide...there won't be any reservations to be had. Acccck!</p>
<p>Have you asked your son what he wants? If he is an Eagle Scout, he is probably fairly independent and won’t "need’ you but still may want you there, or at least maybe won’t mind if you are there. Ask him what he wants/needs and honor that. </p>
<p>My d doesn’t want either her dad or me to help her move in and has asked her cousing to go with her instead. That is hard, since I have never seen the campus. Her dad has at least seen the campus when he was there on business during college application season and scoped it out for her, then she went alone for honors weekend. There will be other times to go see the campus and see her in her new environment, apart from the move in day emotions. And, I am getting to be OK with that.</p>
<p>We have to remember that our kids are young adults and need to learn to transition. Asking them what they want or need and then doing that if at all possible is an OK first step in helping them (and us!) transition to them at least sort of being on their own.</p>
<p>I think I would want to help him move in and help him buy the things he realizes he needs (I’ve done a Penn move-in and various other Penn moves). You don’t need to hang around while he is gone, though.</p>
<p>We are planning to move S in early for PENNacle then come back on the traditional move in day. We are thinking that when we move him in, we can see if there is anything we need to get that we can take care of while he is away. The actual move in day there are events for the parents through dinner time, then we are off. </p>
<p>Since we live driving distance, this is an easy plan for us, but since you are traveling it might be a little more difficult. However, what you could do is come a day before PennQuest starts and go shopping with him for things you don’t want to have to drag across the country on a plane. Then while he is away, you and H can go on a little trip of your own. You won’t be far from NYC and could spend a few nights there or possibly go up to the Pennsylvania Dutch country (fun outlet shopping). You could also visit the Jersey Shore and see how the other side lives:-) Cape May might be a nice choice. Then come back on Sept 1 for traditional move in, so you can meet the roommate and his parents, see some of the people on the floor and attend the parents sessions. </p>
<p>The reason I didn’t suggest staying around and seeing Philly, is I am thinking if you come back for parents weekend, or any other time to visit your son, you will be staying and visiting Philly then. Since he won’t be there, it is a good time to hit up some other places on the east coast.</p>
<p>We did the same sort of thing when my D started school and was doing one of the pre-orientation programs at her school and it worked out really well</p>
<p>MomofWildChild, how does that move in even work? I can’t imagine how they manage all of those cars unloading and moving in on those busy streets. Do they allot times for people to come or is it just a free for all? Does Drexel move in the same day? That would be crazy.</p>
<p>It is horrible beyond belief. My son moved into the quad early since he was helping with move-in. They block off part of a lane and they have all these big boxes on rollers that you dump all your stuff in. My husband just said “It’s the most awful thing I’ve ever done.” There is tight security and you have to sign in- even though you are obviously a parent and show your driver’s license etc. You have to guard your stuff every second on the sidewalk or it will get stolen. Sorry to be so discouraging.<br>
Junior year he moved into the Radian the DAY it opened so EVERY resident of the Radian was moving in on the same day. This required serious alcohol at the end of the day. The building is about 13 stories tall and there are 3 elevators. The line to get to the elevator with all your stuff (and you hoped it would all fit in one load) was an hour long- in the heat. Fortunately, he stayed there for 2 years. You couldn’t get an elevator coming down so you had to walk down the stairs. He was on the 10th floor. We have fond memories of Penn moves! Drexel didn’t seem to interfere. Not sure when they moved in. Many upperclassmen at Penn live off-campus, so it’s not as bad for them.</p>
<p>Penn move in can be pretty hectic, so you are lucky that your kids are moving in early. They do have carts, but you can only keep them for an hour. Three years ago my daughter did Pennacle, so we moved her in and came back for regular move in with more stuff. It was fun to see how comfortable she already felt, and nice to meet her roomate and her parents.</p>
<p>I like the suggestion of going to DC or NYC and coming back. Your son will probably be fine, but it will be fun for you to be there for the first real day.</p>
<p>mowc, I think I blocked out the security aggravation! I’m so happy that my daughter is staying in her off-campus apt. this year so we don’t have to deal with moving her in. D2 is going to BU so we have to deal with another city school move in!</p>
<p>Wow, thanks for the encouraging words haha! That is pretty much how I thought it would be though. I couldn’t really think of any scenario that would make it easier, but I sort of hoped that they had some secret plan worked out. I guess not. We are thinking of bringing the bulk of his stuff for early move in since we figured it would be less crowded. We are even thinking of just taking the train in on the 1st and not dealing with the traffic at all. Hopefully we won’t have much to bring that day. If we really need to bring something else big, we can run it in another day in a few weeks when things are settled. Though I am not sure how much easier that would be, there will still be tons of traffic, and no carts. Oh well, city school it is :-)</p>
<p>@Bajamm - if I left it up to him, he’d go alone. And yes he would be fine, but I wouldn’t be LOL. And he also knows that, so he’s ok with whatever I need to do. Thank you for reminding me to keep his feelings in mind.</p>
<p>@momjr - Thanks for the info. Glad your D had a great time and has a place to live.</p>
<p>@MomofWildChild - Wow! Sounds like you’ve done quite the moves! I’m glad he’s moving in early. I’ve heard stories and seen pictures and that move in days seems quite exhausting. My son is a low maintenance/low need kind of guy, so not sure that he’ll want me to shop or get anything he didn’t bring. He says he’ll get the stuff himself or we can ship it (free Amazon Prime, gotta love it). I’ve heard that you should put all the stuff you want to bring and put it in a room and then half it. So I’m thinking we’ll take a couple suitcases each and ship anything he needs at a later date. We aren’t planning on renting a car at this point (that may change).</p>
<p>@parentofpeople - Great advice! Will look into what we can do while waiting for him to return.</p>
<p>I’ve read some of the posts regarding what to bring to college but was wondering if Penn parents had any special advice of what to bring/not bring, especially to Hill (double room). He has starting chatting with his roommate but he’s from Arizona so isn’t close either. Thanks!</p>
<p>My D will be a junior at Penn and lived in Hill her first year…we’re also from CA and, while my D at Penn is not a lax player, I have other daughters who are so CalifLaxMom, I can relate!</p>
<p>I would definitely go out and help your S move in…of course he COULD do it alone but it’s nice to share the burden as it really is a fair bit of work to get completely unpacked, make the bed, get the computer set up/connected, assemble that lamp, etc. etc. While move in day really was crazy, you’re lucky that he’ll move in on a day when just a small number will do so…you’ll have access to the elevator, etc. On the true move in day, the line for the elevator is horribly long (and, since it’s an old building, the elevator’s already slow) and they use a crane to lift luggage! Anyway, getting his belongings up shouldn’t be too bad…we stopped by the night before move in just to see if we could see a room–we were trying to figure out if D needed a rug; we were told D was welcome to move in right then. We were incredibly lucky because no one else was around and we had free access to the elevator. We had her just about all set up and just went the next day to meet the roommate and put on the finishing touches. I would imagine this will be similar to your experience.</p>
<p>I agree with other posters that, if you can spare the time, it’d be nice to go for a little trip, to DC, NYC, the beach, etc. and come back for the actual move in day. The events for parents are nice and I know if meant a lot to me to be part of it all. I went alone to Parents Week-end which was find but we agreed that, in the future, visiting on a different, less chaotic week-end would be better.</p>
<p>In terms of things helpful to know…there’s a computer lab in the building so D did not want a printer–found it easier to just use the one in the lab. There’s an ATM for a PA bank (PNC) also right in Hill so that’s the bank where she opened her account (no Wells Fargo there, CalifLaxMom!). A combo fridge/microwave is available for rent and that was what <em>all</em> the kids seemed to do…my D ended up wanting one bowl, one plate, one cup/mug and one set of silverware for an occasional bowl of cereal or soup, etc. The floors are kind of grungy and my D didn’t end up with a rug but would have liked one and many had them. That’s all that comes to mind about Hill at the moment but, if you have more questions, let me know.</p>
<p>POP: It’s a good idea to take the train on actual move-in day. The traffic around the school was awful. Penn tries to keep things moving by limiting parking and cart time. They also have students in golf carts to drive parents from the parking garages.</p>
<p>My D lived in the quad Freshman year and the high-rises sophomore year if anyone has specific questions.</p>
<p>I’d also stay thru move-in day…they likely will have events and such for freshmen and their parents…I would also stay in Philly for the few days in between…sure you could go to NYC or DC very easily by train,but why not see what Philly has to offer…Granted,you’ll likely visit a few times in the next few years,but probably not as often as you might think…If interested,i can give you some good restaurants to check out…Union Trust Steakhouse is very good(has best raw bar in Philly)… Waterworks is also very good,looking down the schuykill river at Boathouse Row…THE best grilled calamari…plenty of other places also…</p>
<p>Thanks again for all the great advice/support. I think we will stay, see a little Philly, maybe go some other places. I’m actually thinking we won’t go back for Parents Weekend unless S calls and asks. It was going to be a big expense anyways and he’ll be home for Christmas. </p>
<p>Will look at all the great links. And by the way, my S played Lacrosse for 5 years here in California but has no plans to play at Penn. He is interested in golf these days…</p>