<p>anyone care to share their stories, in order to either get it off your chest or help those with an ED feel less alone?</p>
<p>Are you having issues?</p>
<p>definitely.</p>
<p>I binge eat. (im a male) I just can’t stop myself from gorging and gorging then either throwing it up, feeling terrible about myself, or doing insane excersizing to burn it off.</p>
<p>I know why I binge eat. I NEED to be skinny and muscular so i stay from those foods. When im finally alone I crack and just go to town. Then I feel horrible and vow to not eat again and the cycle perpetuates.</p>
<p>Its not like being slim and muscular (does that contradict itself? who knows…my mind hasent been making sense lately) is an option for me anymore. Now, It has become an unspoken truth that I follow.</p>
<p>While most people recommend not doing intense calorie-counting, let me give you some perspective:</p>
<p>The average person who’s college-aged burns about 2400 calories per day just by existing. You burn a few more if you’re active throughout the day (think construction workers) and many more if you do exercise each day (on a good hard workout day I can burn about 300 calories on a stationary bike after 30-40 minutes, I think).</p>
<p>So let’s say you burn 3000 calories a day. To gain ANY weight, fat or otherwise, you’d have to eat more than that. How much is 3000 calories? Imagine a Chipotle burrito, with a soda and an order of chips. Now eat all of that again. That is a LOT of food. So don’t be so wired about how much you eat. Because chances are, as long as you get normal portions (even of foods like cheeseburgers) you’re going to be fine.</p>
<p>On a side note, when I study at the library, I habitually sit next to the ladies bathroom. About two times each hour, I hear the unmistakenable sound of someone vomiting. But Im careful not to make eye contact with them as they exit or they might think that I know what theyve done. </p>
<p>Sometimes I think that suicide isnt just an instant killer (rope,gun - that kinda stuff) but a slow killer (depression, smoking, ED)</p>
<p>I don’t eat enough. I know I don’t. I don’t have the money to buy my own meals and try too hard to save my parents money by not asking for any from them. If they go out to eat and don’t ask me if I want anything or offer to give me money to go out and get something for myself, I’m left with what I have at the house. I’m also very lazy, and even though I have a Wal Mart card with money on it, I have to be REALLY hungry to be motivated to drive to the store to get food. If I run out of food, I go hungry until I get creative. Sometimes, I resort to eating sandwich crackers.</p>
<p>I also reFUSE to eat ANY “low calorie, low carbohydrate, low fat” crap, which is ALL the rest of my family buys. So I can’t even resort to eating THEIR food. It wouldn’t matter anyway, because I’ll spend 20 minutes cooking and eating 200 calories worth of food. Not. even. worth it.</p>
<p>It all started when I was vegan for half a year in high school… I couldn’t eat anything that I didn’t personally buy, so I got used to being hungry. I could be hungry for hours and then go to bed for the night, without having eaten! Also, vegan food was very expensive…</p>
<p>I’m hungry right now. Also, I’m 125 lbs, 5’11".</p>
<p>feuerwerke, what’s your story?</p>
<p>I’m kind of afraid of living in dorm next year because of my ED actually. I’m bulimic, and like collegedirection says, stress in high school isn’t helping. </p>
<p>Is anyone in my situation? How do you cope with bulimia when you’re living with someone else?</p>
<p>I’ve been depressed for the this last half of the year and it’s really a bad thing. I not going to say I was skinny or anything I was maybe a little over average, but me and my girlfriend broke up and I’ve gained quite a few pounds. I used to way 175-ish and now I was aboujt 190-200 pounds. It really sucks. I’m only about 5’9 BTW and I’m a male.</p>
<p>I’m diagnosed EDNOS.
Yay for crazy people!</p>
<p>I used to have a lot of problems with food. They’re a lot better now, though probably not perfect.</p>
<p>I used to be very overweight. Food was my drug of choice. If I didn’t have McDonald’s I would be depressed, cry even. Eventually I started to lose weight with diet and exercise. It started out pretty well, but along the way I loved the power I exerted over food. I would control every petty calorie, and weight myself 3 times a day. My mood was based upon my weight. If my weight went up, I wouldn’t eat again until it went back down.</p>
<p>Now I’ve come to terms with food. I weigh myself once a week (to make sure I’m staying around my normal weight). I casually estimate calories (I sometimes overestimate or underestimate how much food I’m eating). I indulge in junk foods every so often, but stick to a wholesome, fresh fruit and vegetable diet, the less processed, the better. And I’m happy. Although I’m a vegan and people thus think I must have some eating disorder, considering how fat I was before. I mean, I still have trouble areas, but overall I’m happy with my body. I just had to “talk” myself through it mentally for years.</p>
<p>I perpetually diet. For now, it’s the no carb route. I stick to it pretty hardcore. I had sushi yesterday and felt guilty. I know it’s pretty nonsensical and I know I’m thin already, but I still do it. Recently, I’ve been binge eating candy bars and purging (the process is a lot less gross than binging and purging other foods imo). A lot of people have eating disorders and you shouldn’t feel bad. Get professional help if it’s affecting your functioning abilities.</p>
<p>@ultramarine: my story started a year ago and yeah, its hard to live in the dorms with an ED. i had to find different ways to be smart about it. i only bring it up here on cc because i have a hard time believing that most of the users care about who’s had a first kiss or not. i wish you luck next year at your new uni, and if you ever want to be heard, feel free to PM me.</p>
<p>I didn’t have a full blown ED but it was like a month of not really eating (like 500-800 calories) and exercising everyday. I lost like 8-10lbs in like month or two (which isn’t alot to some but considering I was 116 lbs or something to 104-106…) I had some health problems from that for like 6 months and I’m still having difficulties getting out of it. I only go work out like 3-5 times a week now and weigh myself like once every week or so… I’m in maintenance (once upon a time I wanted to be like 99 lbs (I’m asian and that’s like everybody’s dream number or something) but for me that’s impossible so I’m happy with where I am. :)) I’m not really counting calories as much anymore and just sorta adjust my diet depending on what I eat the meal before… I’ve kept my weight the same and it doesn’t bother me as much. now I’m just trying to eat healthy foods more than anything</p>
<p>i’ve had mild anorexia since eighth grade. mild in the sense that for 3 years I made sure I stayed the same weight, even as I grew taller. I also sometimes feel too chubby and need to lose weight, even though my mom constantly tells me i’m too skinny. and i guess because of my mom’s comments i always made sure not to become like marykate olsen. but when i go out to eat with friends, at restaurant or a dinner party, i would eat till i’m extemely full. then the next day i would regret it and start counting calories and not eat more than 1200 cal a day. or sometimes skip two meals.</p>
<p>i’ve slowly learned that the changes i feel with my size don’t really matter. no one notices. just that it feels uncomfortable when i’m too full in my jeans…
and i’ve been noticing throughout high school that my friends gained weight… like 10 lbs and that didn’t affect how people saw them. they were still the same people. so i’ve been telling myself that it’s normal to be a little chubby, but once in awhile i get ‘relapses’ and feel like i need to lose weight. i’m a little below 120 (and 5 5")… so it’s silly, i know.</p>
<p>but especially over the last summer, i wasn’t doing anything and felt like a lazy ass who didn’t deserve to eat anything, because it wouldn’t be burned off with my laziness. i lost about 5 lbs. so it wasn’t serious. and then i came to college and was binging at the dining hall for the first month and gained back the weight. and every so often i still feel like i need to lose weight. but then i have to tell myself that i look alright the way i am.</p>
<p>i’ve also noticed that i can’t concentrate and study as well when my tummy is empty… or too full for that matter. it’s all about balance…</p>
<p>When I’m stressed, I tend not to eat as much. Last semester I was having trouble with my roommate, my grandpa was dying, my dog was dying, and my good friend was moving to Japan for 2 years and wouldn’t really be able to contact anyone. I think it must’ve been a control thing because I felt really good when I was hungry even though my stomach hurt from not eating. Most days I had less than 1000 calories, I walk around a big campus, I have a physical custodial job, and I could play pick up basketball for up to 6 hours somedays. </p>
<p>After my grandpa died, I went home and was able to weigh myself for the first time since I left for school. I had lost 30 lb. I wasn’t even overweight to begin with, and I’m only 5’ 3" so that’s really a lot. I remember my parents kind of looking at me funny for a day or two, and then they eventually asked how much I weighed. I lied, maybe added 10 lb or so to my weight. </p>
<p>I kept that weight off for another month until school ended. Over the summer things were better and I gained about 10 lb from then until a few weeks ago. I’ve started to get stressed out again and am now eating 1200 or less everyday, still with walking, biking, and working.</p>
<p>I know it’s a problem, I shouldn’t like the feeling of being able to feel my bones, or reaching to pinch my fat and finding hardly any there. Anytime I feel somewhat normal, I eat “a lot” (and by that I mean 500 calories or so, which isn’t really that much) knowing that in a few hours I’ll go back to not wanting to eat. Part of me wants to be better, to stop losing weight and be healthy. Then the other part of me doesn’t care how thin and sick I’ll get, it just keeps going.</p>
<p>
TOTALLY understand this. I didn’t used to binge, but after I started dieting and ruined my healthy, I started eating like crazy… because I would undereat for the day (because I stuffed myself the night before) and then I would go… What am I doing? your body is not doing well! EAT!</p>
<p>SO i would eat like 2000 calories in one sitting. That was not good.</p>
<p>However, I started eating proper meals (I used to skip dinner alot) with sorta proper nutrition. I also eat purposely before I go eat anywhere so I won’t over do it (like I chomp on carrots before I go). I used to crave sweets really badly during that time (I didn’t used to like sweets THAT mucH!) and after I started eating properly I’m doing ok.</p>
<p>However, I did have a fear of eating out/eating with friends for a bit… I like to eat what I cook because I know what’s in there (healthy stuff usually) along with the calories… I’m getting better and now I can eat out at least once every 3 days without feeling bad (if it’s more than that then it’s a bit ICK for me…)</p>
<p>It’s weird, but eating disorders usually aren’t about food, and trying to fix it by controlling eating patterns is rarely successful. Talk to your doctor, or the college health center.</p>
<p>I went through binge eating disorder my junior year of high school. My weight still fluctuates till today(i’m a freshman in college) but i’m over the disorder. It was the most terrible thing i ever went through and the lowest point of my life for sure. I ate till i felt sick, all i ever though about was food. I remember i used to skip class to go to the first lunch at school to eat. I used to get so excited by the end of the day cause i’ll get home and get to eat, it really took over me. Then i realized the instant weight gain and i went from 104 to 115. I started to purge and not eat at all. I also worked out a lot even after going without food for days. The longest i went without eating was 5 days but then i would binge again and all that weight came back over matter of minutes. This yoyo pattern took my weight to 120. I struggled through this the whole year. I hated going outside because i didn’t want people to see me. I was ugly i felt that people looked at me and thought i was hideous and disgusting. I only wore sweatshirts or kept my winter coat on at all time so people could never see how fat i had gotten. The guilt of eating was terrible and felt like crap. I finally noticed that there was something seriously wrong and searched online about having trouble with food and can’t stop eating and i found binge eating disorder(BED) and all the symptoms matched me. I remember i tried to make myself throw up after eating but i was never successful at i took laxatives. Did everything to keep me away from food but i just couldn’t stay away, it was like something else took over me. I couldn’t stop eating. Sometimes i used to chew food and spit it out. I just still couldn’t stay away from food when i was going through my binge. If i had food in the microwave i had to go and grab a bag of chips to eat while my food was done.</p>
<p>My family was not supportive at all. I begged them to not bring certain foods home and this was the food i binged on the most but my mom didn’t listen and bought it anyway. I don’t blame them too much though because if i didn’t go through this myself i would probably thing eating disorders aren’t a big problem. I would think just eat or stop eating, it’s not that big of a deal. So they could never understand where i was coming from.</p>
<p>yeah like I said, i only had it semi not eating enough period for like a month - then I went into binging as well. I only gained 5 lbs though because it was only for about a month. Then I went into semi not eating enough / eating too much cycles. Now I’m sorta ordered out… I adjust… like if I ate alot the day before (like 1600-2000 ish), I eat a little less the next day (around 1200 calories). When I don’t eat alot, I don’t exercise that day. When i do exercise, I allow myself to have 300 more calories or so thatday.</p>
<p>I try to make it evened out. I just want to maintain and be healthy… I gained 5 lbs like I said during my binging cycle (in february) and I just lost it (not by exercising too much or eating too less). I don’t want to lose anymore, I just wanna be healthy.</p>
<p>Don’t starve yourself - it WILL lead to binging. There’s no way around it. When you starve, you want all the sweet bad foods too. I recently got my own original taste preferences back so i don’t want that much cookies/sweets anymore. However, I do have a day in a week or so when I want it REALLY bad. I usually buy cookies, don’t touch it for like a week, then I splurge on it one day. SO I just buy one m&m packet instead of a giant one even if it’s more expensive. I just have that packet and then I can’t have any more (like 3 packs)</p>
<p>The only thing I made sure I NEVER do it throw up. I know that can become a habit and I know I’m not a strong person. Even if I binge, I keep it down. I try not to think about it. I think everybody binges once in awhile (holidays) so don’t feel so terrible.</p>
<p>when I was home, I sorta annoyed my mom trying to make her cook without so much fat etc. When they made meat, i didn’t eat that much of it (I don’t eat alot of meat anymore…) I didn’t like how they kept so much junk food around the house, but when she bought junk food, I made sure to get my OWN junk food without so much calories. I ate that instead of their food LOL. Now I live by myself again, I don’t keep so much junk around except sugary cereal that I eat with my soy milk and yogurt. And if I want chocolate, like I said, I buy one pack from the vending machine. I eat it then I’m done!</p>