<p>I wrote an essay for a scholarship program and PLEASE HELP editing
Can you guys see if this is too dramatic? and is this experience of leadership too informal?
prompt: describe a time when you made a difference as a leader. What happened and what difference did you make?</p>
<p>Fifteen minutes before the International Day event starts, I rush to the quad and help set up the table reserved for the club I founded, Korean American Student Association. As the members gather, I notice I am not the only one reluctant to help. We are not embarrassed about being Korean American; we are abashed that we have to show our non-American side to our friends. As a cheerleader at my school who has a reputation of being “cool,” I do not want to show off as a “fob,” or fresh off the boat. I turn on the Korean music barely loud enough to hear the lyrics. I open my vocabulary book and pretend as if I am busy. Others awkwardly stand around, picking their nails and scratching their heads. I wish I can grab onto the minute hand of my watch so lunch will never come.
Sadly, fifteen minutes, which feel like one, pass and the bell rings. Students pour out of the classrooms and explore the tables of different countries. Numerous students accumulate around the Indian table fascinated by henna, the temporary tattoo. Many assemble at the Chinese table captivated by the colorful food. Only a few gather around our table.
While feeling relief that my friends did not find me, I feel guilty of the quietness around our table. I do not want to be called a “fob” for the rest of my high school life, but I also do not want to let my followers down. I hesitate for a moment, but the thirty eight eyes of the members of KASA motivate me to make a move.
I put on the traditional Korean dress and turn the speaker of the music on as eyes stare. I start dancing to the music and announce, “C-come and listen t-to the astonishing Korean music!” I see some of my friends laughing, but I hide my embarrassment by smiling back. I hear people whisper, “isn’t she a cheerleader?” I continued shouting regardless of my burning ears. Students first seem to stare with their eyebrows wrinkled out of ridicule, but later stare with curiosity.
One by one, countless people stand around our table and swing side by side along with the music. They tell me that they like my dress and I thank them with a cracking voice. I manage to improvise a lecture about Korean culture, which even I am fascinated by. I can see, through my followers’ half- smiling faces, that they are starting to get excited, too. My club members ardently introduce the crowd about KASA and many tell us that they will like to join.
That was the day our club, full of only Koreans, expanded to include Chinese and Japanese, the day we learned that we were not half American and half Korean, but full American with another full nationality, and the day the members of my club regarded me not only as a cheerleader who carried around my SAT vocabulary book, but also a leader. </p>
<p>PLEASE BE HARSH :D and mean!</p>