We monitor email and texts. Browser history too. We said if it is deleted we will know you are doing something wrong. The children know. The policy is don’t do anything you will be embarassed for us to see. Because if you are embarassed it is wrong and others will look unfavorably as well. We do it less frequently over time as they prove to be making good decisions I am not naive…
@Center, my only concern would be that teens might get a wrong message regarding privacy vs wrongness.
@SculptorDad I agree it’s a tough call. Unfortunately I would argue that there is no real expectation of privacy anymore. Anything they do can bite them in the rear.
I used to check email and texts when the kids were younger, but don’t bother anymore. My kids are more circumspect online than I am.
Dos,
Luddites is the way to go!
We did that as long as we could. No electronics at all, certainly no Tv, and no phones.
DC and DC’s bestie were the last in the tri state area to get phones. (Ok, well maybe just the last at their school). It was so notable that the Besties’ mom called me first, to tell me that they were giving their DC a cellphone. They just wanted me to have a heads up because we were the last to hold out for so long!
Anyways, I rue the day. On the other hand it is a good tracking device and I yell at them a lot less, I just yell at them in text now. I know lots of angry Mom emojis.
@6teenSearch Most people would not believe how old my kids were when they got their first cell phones. They both complain today about how plugged in many of their peers are and how hard it is for many their age to be “in the moment” and engage in conversations. (I say this as I spend way too much time on CC. 
)
We still have no TV or video game. But laptop and phone eventually became necessities.
SculptorDad - I feel like we have some things in common. We have no tv or video games either and I’m always embarrassed to tell people because they take it the wrong way - but I grew up without tv or video games and thought that was a productive thing (I read a lot and played a lot of music). When my son was in 2nd grade and his friends came over, one boy asked him, can’t your parents afford a tv? he just shrugged and said, i don’t know. But he was never interested in tv even when he went to his friend’s house - if they were engrossed in a tv show, he just left or found something else to do. He’s still this way and my husband worries that he’ll be an outcast in college but he seems to do just fine. I admit I’m viewed oddly at work because i don’t watch tv and can’t partake in the water cooler discussions. But I’m fine with that - I have a lot of other things I’d prefer to talk to others about. Have your children ever felt socially disadvantaged because they don’t have tv or video games?
Sorry if I’m taking this thread off topic …
@doschicos, we have not had TV in the house since D was an infant. And she finally got a cellphone one week before leaving for BS. And then it was confiscated between Parents Weekend and Christmas during freshman year due to an inappropriate use. She was definitely the only kid at her school without a cellphone during that time… and learned a hard lesson. (Was confiscated by me. Once a dorm parent, always a dorm parent… LOL)
She does remind me, when I am on CC, that “There could be serial killers on that forum, Mom… you shouldn’t make friends with random people on the Internet!”
Another crazy parent here. Only tv we had on in the house when the kids were growing up was sports- couldn’t make my hubbie give those up. Movies were all age appropriate - even at sleepovers- Many years with no tv at all. Kids had cell phones - but not smart phones until high school. Our oldest shared a family phone for many years. No social media or snapchat allowed until high school.
“He’s still this way and my husband worries that he’ll be an outcast in college but he seems to do just fine.” “Have your children ever felt socially disadvantaged because they don’t have tv or video games?”
@CLNMOM We have tv in our house, but husband and I are the guilty ones, the kids never watch. Your son will find like minded friends. If you pick the right college, it’ll be a non-issue although I know my kids feel they can’t connect at times with some of their peers because of it, but there’s always differences in tastes/interests that causes that kind of thing. My kids would rather have a discussion with friends or be out in nature although they’ll stream a movie if they need some downtime.
@cameo43 Mine were well into the HS years before they got one. Another thing I like about BS, at least the one my kids went to, was cell phone use was less frequent and frowned upon outside the dorms, although that has supposedly been changing a little with the younger kids coming in. My kids notice a big difference in cell phone usage between their age group and kids 4-5 years younger. The older kids at BS were the ones getting on the new students about not using their cell phones while walking the path. The idea/tradition being that one should engage in community, greeting and acknowledging others while walking on campus.
One time suck at BS, especially for boys, is gaming. I was unpleasantly surprised how many kids brought their gaming systems, large, monitors, etc. to school with them. One of my kids had a roommate one year who spent a very big chunk of spare time gaming and for awhile the room became a bit of an gaming den. 
Yes, the gamers. We had a few of those… (there were XBoxes in my dorm closet too! LOL) But did notice a significant decrease in usage after the shock and awe of the first marking period. @-)
Is a computer screen much different than a TV screen?
laenen, there’s probably more junk streaming via computer screen these days than on tv (although one friend of mine has over 300 channels - i was blown away), but i think the habit formed makes a difference. so far, my son hasn’t developed an interest in the junk and still believes the computer is an educational tool as opposed to an entertainment tool. There are kids at school who use their laptops as an entertainment tool and he knows its possible but he’s got so much other stuff he wants to do that he’s not tempted - i think that habit comes from growing up in a house without a tv or video games. there are always exceptions for a healthy does of everything and i don’t mean to be judgmental at all - but just from my experience, the parents i meet who complain their children don’t read or enjoy books are also very lax about letting their kids spend hours in front of the tv. i was just happy to meet others on this forum who share similar experiences as our family since i don’t have any around in my community.
@laenen, as hardware screens no. Actually we do have a TV hardware in our living room. It was just never passively hooked into live streaming through air, cable, or other forms of broadcasting service… We occasionally use it to watch BBC documentaries and The Great Course lectures together, in a bigger screen.
But the media contents itself is very different. When we watch something with the TV screen, we make a conscientious choice as of what to watch, and it isn’t often. Nowadays 2~3 times per month. And it is never habitually turned on before deciding exactly what to watch.
My guess is the question is mainly rhetorical but the computer screen acts as a tv screen, especially for our kids’ generation, as well as a news source in lieu of newspapers and magazines, a mailbox, a calendar, a replacement for my car with online shopping, and much, much more.
I saw this recently: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uGI00HV7Cfw
We always avoided TV and frankly a lot of popular movies too. And it just so happens none of our kids was ever attracted to gaming in any big way. We never bought any sort of systems. There have been gaps in their popular cultural awareness and sometimes they are left out. But it’s not been a big deal.
But, as Laenen alludes, who really watches TV per se, anymore? It has morphed so much. Now it’s all about screen time. Which is harder to monitor sometimes, and is so isolating. The entire family got into DA, and we watch it together on our one TV. It is nice to watch things as a family. I feel like by avoiding TV I fought last generation’s battle, now I’d rather have MORE of us watching TV as a family and less of the kids following a show on their own.
I received many emails and phone calls from admissions officers and coaches, does that effect chances of getting in?
@pirlotottiitaly --depends on what the emails say…
One is talking about preseason and formation and they sent my highlights of last season and players and a bunch of other stuff (they lost a lot of varsity players) and the admissions one just talk about the school and things and some are asking my height and weight and positions by coaches and asking for schedules