Enjoyment vs Fun

Parents Forum Parent Cafe
1

TGIF!!! Still celebrate this day as I’m still working. :slight_smile: Friday is usually a work from home day though so, “bonus”!

After the weekend people at work tend to say “did you do anything fun this weekend?!” We have all ages at work. Medical students and residents in their 20’s, staff 30 on up to mid-60’s.

But I always find myself taken back by “did you do anything FUN”. Fun? I don’t know how often I have fun…I mean I do, but “fun” doesn’t happen every weekend. Fun to me is traveling, going to a concert, a game night with our kids…maybe a special hike in a really cool place.

But I think more of my activity falls in the category of ENJOY. Things I enjoy on the weekend:

  • sleeping in a little
  • breakfast on the deck
  • reading on the chaise
  • taking an extra long run or walk
  • gardening
  • getting some take out so I don’t have to cook
  • catching up on a tv show
  • visiting a MetroPark with the dog
  • getting a project done!

But I would not put those things in the category of “fun”. Admitted introvert and H and I don’t do much at all socially, by choice. Do extroverts maybe have more “fun” because they are hanging out with people?? :slight_smile:

I seriously often stumble over this question when asked and will often say, “well I don’t know if I had fun but I did enjoy doing this…”

Fun vs. enjoy. Do you have “fun” often? What qualifies as “fun” to you. Are fun and enjoy the same - or different??? What qualifies as “enjoy”??

And BTW, hope you ENJOY this weekend - if you have some fun too, all the better. :slight_smile:

14 Likes
2

I hear the distinction you are making!

We do try to build in one or two truly fun things every weekend. Last weekend it was an opera and time with OOT family.

This weekend it will be kayaking and a special anniversary dinner.

H and I try to do “dates” every single weekend - sometimes it’s hiking or kayaking, but mostly we try to discover new areas near by. We have a long list of neighborhoods, museums, and parks we’ve never visited that we slowly chip away at when the weather is nice and we aren’t tied up with another commitment.

6 Likes
3

An interesting question. I had never questioned the difference but it is very true.

By example…Today we are day tripping to the Bronx Zoo because the weather has cooled and my spouse loves giraffes. This will be fun.

Tonight we are going to dinner with a couple whom we see every two weeks when possible. This we enjoy.

We leaned more towards the enjoy side before several life events and now actively seek out more fun. It takes effort and time however.

Have a great Friday and weekend😀

5 Likes
4

This extrovert always have more fun, even when I’m dumping out my compost bin. It means I’m alive and kicking, lol.

5

Happy Anniversary!!

5 Likes
6

Thank you!

7

I mean, this realization recently really had me questioning my activities. I really do lean and prefer and am satisfied with “enjoy” activities. But it also made me realize I probably don’t have enough fun!

And being truthful, and in the kindest way, I think my H has very few “fun” interests. At least what would qualify as “fun” for me. He doesn’t do concerts, museums, traveling only like once a year w/the kids, is not really interested in dining out or with others (besides the kids), will go do a park walk but is not “sporty” in any other way.

I think he is pretty satisfied that way. I think I am MOSTLY satisfied with “enjoyable” activities but I would like a little more fun. :slight_smile:

6 Likes
8

@abasket - I totally get what you mean. There are a lot of things I enjoy that are routine - morning coffee, run/walk/yoga, reading the papers, Wordle and Spelling Bee, having dinner with H, etc. Things I do every day (or almost every day).

But “fun” tends to be things I do less frequently. Travel, live music, get togethers, etc.

3 Likes
9

Glad to know I’m not alone in those routine enjoyments!

LOL, so why am I feeling less than adequate when people at work ask for a fun report each Monday! LOL :wink: :slight_smile:

2 Likes
10

I enjoy things I consider fun but don’t have to have fun to enjoy something. Kind of like all bourbons are whiskey but not all whiskeys are bourbon.

1 Like
11

I also definitely enjoy my routines and rituals! I love to start my mornings having a nice cup of tea, on the sunporch in the summer, doing my puzzles, gardening, etc… Those all give me a much needed sense of enjoyment and peace!

2 Likes
12

I miss my garden already and I’m supposed to be having fun, lol. My husband said he dreamed of driving his sporty car a few days ago, plus he said the coffee here is too bitter, and he’s supposed to have fun too.

13

I think you’re right that there’s a difference between enjoyment and fun, and of course both are good!

For myself, I do like to incorporate fun things in the calendar (and love when fun things just serendipitously happen!). I think my good memories are made up more of fun things rather than things I just enjoy. So for me, it’s important to have fun! I want to look back on the year and have a lot of memories. But of course we all need time to decompress and just enjoy simple pleasures. Who doesn’t love lingering over coffee somewhere relaxing?! It’s all good. But I probably don’t have a lot of memories from coffee-drinking, reading, or watching Netflix.

Fun for me usually involves something active, something I’ve never done before, being with fun people, travel, laughing with friends, etc. So bike trips, doing something for the first time like a glass-blowing class, doing a ropes course with girlfriends, zip lining with my daughter which was terrifying but fun, boating and swimming with my husband and friends, jumping/riding the ocean waves with a group of friends, etc. I recently had about a dozen women over to watch Grease after ONJ passed away, and we all laughed and sang along and made the house shake, we had so much fun. But it does take effort and energy to plan things like that.

One thing I realized is that my main hobby is gardening, which I love. But I see that my husband’s hobbies are very social and provide a lot of community. So I’ve tried to start making gardening a little more social. I still enjoy the meditative aspects of being in my garden alone and doing work, but now also invite people to get involved in different ways. I host plant swaps and I run it like a Yankee Swap and somehow it turns out there are funny aspects that get us laughing, I invite younger new neighbors over for some lessons (things like dividing plants, etc that they may not know), I invite friends over and everyone can make their own vase full of cut flowers, plan trips to the good nurseries with other people, etc. For some reason I’m not interested in joining the garden club, but when I realized my hobby was so solitary, I decided to actively try to make it more social. But I still ENJOY the solitary aspects !

I’m trying to think if I can have FUN when I’m alone. I mean, whizzing down a hill on my bicycle sometimes feels fun, or playing with a puppy (which is not frequent). But I guess more typically fun involves other people (or puppies :joy:).

It’s probably good to have a mix of enjoyment and fun, and of course we’re lucky when we can have either of those!! I like this topic and am going to give it some thought and think about if I have the right balance! Thanks for the idea!

7 Likes
14

Not to get to personal but my wife and I were very settled into a predictable, routine and enjoyable lifestyle when one morning she suffered an injury related life threatening illness that required almost a month in the ICU. Remarkably and thankfully she has made a full recovery.

As a result our perspective on “enjoyment vs fun” is entirely different although it was never discussed or contemplated in those terms (thanks OP).

We are blessed and appreciative that we have the flexibility and resources to do so but we have deliberately adjusted our lifestyle such that we have something almost every week that isn’t necessarily easy but is deliberately fun.

Initially she wasn’t allowed to travel far so we mapped out destinations within 2 hours of our home. Day trips to a beach we had never been to, an alpaca sanctuary, a distant restaurant known for lobster rolls, Billy Joel, a Red Sox games in full Yankee gear, you get the idea. Planning, preparing and marking the calendar has become a fun habit.

We have now expanded distances but find fun in things we had previously overlooked locally. We ran up to Maine and got home exhausted last week but rather than unpacking we went to a local park and ate some “Jersey Mike” heroes pond side. It was fun😀

Sorry to rant but I am so glad to have her healthy but also appreciative of the opportunity to change my perspective.

As The Rolling Stones said Time Waits For No One. Now off to see some giraffes.

16 Likes
15

But all whiskeys are fun😀

3 Likes
16

Your wife’s injury aside - and I hope she continues to improve, this is inspirational and makes me smile. Go you. :slight_smile:

Gosh @EmptyNestSoon2 you must have a social neighborhood and be a good “event” planner! We have been in our neighborhood 25 years and there is very little fun in a neighborly way. People are “nice” but not engaging. TBH, I don’t feel like I have enough in common with them for more than occasional “enjoying” a chat or stopping at someone’s house for a bit in the yard.

2 Likes
17

Catcher, I’m so glad your wife is recovered, and glad that the harrowing experience had such a silver (sterling??) lining! I had a similar perspective shift after a very serious cancer diagnosis a decade ago. The odds were against survival, so after treatment I had a new philosophy (?) of “Say yes to everything!!!”. I was already a pretty fun-loving person, so this was not a 180 degree shift, but basically I told myself to take EVERY opportunity to have fun, bond with people, do good things, etc. I think it has resulted in me doing at least 50% more. And the empty nest motivated me even further to be an organizer of fun for myself and others. I do think I do more than my share of organizing activities and outings, and I’m glad to do it. Somebody has to make things happen, might as well be me! Plus, planning fun things is contagious. I find that after I plan some some things; others in my group get thinking and organize something, too! But I hope others who want to bring more fun into their lives don’t wait for the life-threatening things we went through—JUST DO IT!! :muscle::blush::sunny:

5 Likes
18

I would definitely be the person on a Monday mornings saying I enjoyed the weekend; I would rarely report that I had “fun”.

I’ve discovered in recent years that in addition to being an introvert, I’m also a pretty serious person. Uptight? Not really. Just serious. I like to read and learn and watch. But not necessarily “do”. I’d love to go to a museum over a sporting event. I’d prefer to eat a nice lunch with my hubby or a close friend over a gathering with others.

I am very excited to seeing my son and meeting his roommates in a couple weeks for Parents Weekend. I am rarely excited about smthg and yet seeing my oldest will bring me great joy no matter what we see, do etc with him.

I can’t recall the last time I had fun?! (Frequent weekends at Universal with VIP passes and staying at the Hard Rock Cafe or Portofino hotels were fun times. It’s been awhile though and nest is half empty now and youngest wouldn’t have as much fun now being with us versus peers.)

So, I’m happy in life, but not having much “fun”. And I’m okay with that.

4 Likes
19

I can relate to many of your statements. :slight_smile:

20

I think we are similar. DH has his antique tractors to mess with, tractor rides he goes on, and of course on an acreage there’s always something for him to work on. And for us it’s a drive to get to most fun, so a lot of times we just don’t. I get a little bored but I really need some new hobbies too. I also tend to not seek out friends or join groups so that’s my own doing.

DD’19 is a go-and-do person, and it drove DH nuts her asking to go here and there. Then she spent 3 years with a BF who, except for his sports, was a sit home person. Now she has one who likes the same level of activity so she’s loving it. He’s coming up this weekend so tonight is swing dancing and tomorrow is beach volleyball- and I’m sure there is more. I’m glad she now has someone to match in this regard.

3 Likes