As for my neighborhood, we have a lovely older couple next door since we moved in, and they always hosted a neighborhood holiday party. That’s how I met most of my older neighbors. The young ones with kids in school like mine I met by hanging out at the bus stop or setting up play dates, etc. Our backyard is private/shrouded with trees, and that’s where we hang out, so effort is definitely involved if I want to know the neighbors. Once we outgrew the bus stop, I realized I had to actively work if I wanted to continue to have the feeling that I’m close with my neighbors (and that is definitely a feeling I want and cherish!!). So I make sure to actively plan at least 3 neighborhood things a year. I created a neighborhood directory so we have an email chain. Doesn’t get used much, but it’s nice to have everyone’s contact info. I always host a garden party for neighbors in the fall (it’s time to do that…Great reminder). I organize a luminary-lighting event, and then something random like the plant swap. Most other things I do for true friends vs. neighbors. The neighbors aren’t necessarily all people I equally admire, but it’s truly fun to get to know a more random mix of people—all ages, persuasions, political views, interests, life stages, etc. Sadly we aren’t the young neighbors anymore, but I love getting to know the new young neighbors with kindergartners! I love knowing who is coming trick-or-treating or who the elderly man is with Alzheimer’s who wandered into our backyard barefoot at 5 am a few years ago so we could help him, etc etc.
As for the introverts who favor enjoyment over fun, I get that, too! It is so interesting how different things appeal to us all. Makes the world go ‘round
Some neighborhood I know have more official organization or long-term traditions (4th of July parades through the neighborhood, etc), though. I wish we had that!
We were with my brother and sister in law who are serious Sox fans. We joked that we had escaped death once so we had Angels on our side. My BIL didn’t miss a beat saying the Angels play in Los Angeles not Fenway.
Interesting. I think I consider things I enjoy to be fun. I don’t really make a distinction, maybe because my life is so otherwise boring !? There are a few people at my work who ask the “did you do anything fun / are you planning anything fun this weekend.” I thought they did it to get me to filter out the boring, maybe pre-judging that since I’m old I have a lot more unfun than fun. They want to ask about my weekend but they don’t really want to hear about taking the recyclables to the center, cleaning the gunk out of the dishwasher, etc. However, I recently started making an effort to do more things that are enjoyable/fun since I realized, now that I have an empty nest, there’s not really a whole lot I HAVE to do on the weekend. It will get done eventually but it doesn’t have to get done before more enjoyable things. It is a change for me.
I think when coworkers ask, “did you do anything fun” it’s just a way to give an open ended question where you can choose to share something upbeat from your weekend.
Yeah, I’ve been asked a couple of times recently “what do you like to do for fun?” And I’ve been kind of stumped. Because I really enjoy my life, but I don’t think of fun/not fun. Walking my dogs on my farm is one of the things I most enjoy, but saying “walking my dogs” seems so boring and lame!
I’m an introvert and many of the activities described by the folks on this thread who I presume to be extroverts (parties, etc) would not be fun activities for me. They would be definitely in the NOT FUN category.
Fun for me is travel (planning a trip right now), trying a new restaurant, going for a hike, going to the botanical garden, getting together with a friend for tea or coffee, reading a new book, going to hear music, maybe doing something creative. It really does not have to be a big group activity or a crowd thing. Those aren’t my faves.
I have never thought about fun vs enjoy but I like the idea of categorizing time spent this way. I am someone who likes her everyday, everyday if that makes sense. I need to remind myself the things I do each day really do bring me enjoyment and not everything has to be “fun”.
My H and I are both pretty social ( he probably more than I ) and we do plan fun together and apart. What one person thinks is fun another may say, not so. So, I often don’t like the question “Did you do anything fun this weekend?” — last weekend DH and I went to a college football game, met up with friends and to me, this was fun! When a friend asked on Monday and I told her all she could say was ugh, not fun. I would NEVER have that reaction to how anyone spends their time - to each their own!
Ok I’ve obviously been pondering this topic! It really has me thinking ;-).
It seems that most who responded do think there is a difference between fun and enjoyment, and that both of those things are good.
Could it be that “fun” things are things that are more likely to result in laughter, whereas “enjoyable” things are pleasant, may make us feel content or good, but not as likely to cause laughter?
I’m not sure if that’s true, just throwing it out there!
PS left right left; I agree that doesn’t sound like a polite response! Perhaps they thought they were being funny?
I look at this as - cleaning the kitchen/house not fun, but relaxing and reading a good book in my clean house/eating takeout from my favorite restaurant in my clean kitchen - fun. At least my definition of fun which as I said I’m someone for whom enjoyable = fun, not that I don’t also occasionally do things that are even more fun OK now I’m just confusing myself. Great topic though!
I think of it (now that I was inspired) as follows:
I enjoy certain things by omission or repetition. For example a stress free afternoon or going to the gym. These examples require little planning or effort but keep me grounded and happy.
I have fun doing things that are different/unique, special or aspirational. For example going to the alpaca sanctuary, a great concert or a big trip somewhere. These examples tend to take considerable effort but yield big results and can reset my mood, opinions and perspective.
Our story is similar to @Catcherinthetoast … a grueling cancer treatment protocol for my H in 2019, followed my a solid year of Covid-induced isolation has made us seekers of fun (and yes, I differentiate between fun and enjoyment, as well). Our mantra for the past year or so is “Life is short, so why not?”
I plan some FUN into nearly every weekend (concerts, get together with friends, day trips to new places). Last weekend we drove 2.5 hours each way to see a concert in Baltimore. Last night we hosted a group of friends for drinks and snacks around the fire pit. If a weekend approaches and we don’t have a fun activity scheduled, we do something spontaneous.
Another change from our pre-cancer days…we never say no to an invitation unless we are logistically unable to make it happen. As introverts, we used to decline as much as we accepted, wrt social engagements. Not anymore…if someone invited us, we go.
I’ll admit, we probably don’t have as much down time as we should, my house is not as neat as I’d like, and many a Monday morning we have to drag our tired selves off to work…but we are definitely trying to wring all the fun out of each weekend. As my H now says, “We’ll sleep when we’re dead.” LOL.
. This may be fun AND dangerous!!
It makes me happy but not in a fun activity way.
OK now I’m just confusing myself. Great topic though!
