Essay advice please!

D23 has completed a candidate common app essay. The writing is excellent. I think it shows glimpses of who she is, or at least parts who she is as a person. It is not overtly about her though.

How much should the essay be about the writer explicitly versus showing who the writer is by the way they tell a story? It’s for Prompt #7. She is planning to apply to some top schools like U Michigan, Northwestern, Wesleyan, and the like. Intended major is Film/TV/Screenwriting. Thanks in advance! (and no she doesn’t want anyone to read/critique her essay.)

Calling @compmom to answer your questions.

Good luck to your D!

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The two questions I asked D20 and (now) D23 is after you’ve written your essay -

Do you think it shows who you are?

Does it help the reader better understand what you might be like/might do on their college campus?

They were able to answer those questions after leaving their essay for a bit and coming back to it. Both did quite a few edits/drafts with those two questions always in mind.

Biggest thing to remember (imo) is what purpose the essay serves. It is to help the AO understand the applicant and the application better in order to figure out if the student is a good match for the school.

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I would say a good balance of both would make the essay stronger. There is no exact formula for the personal statement, and as long as your daughter feels confident in what she wanted to highlight about herself. When I wrote my personal statement, I framed it by having the introduction in more of a story telling format and then from that I went into a few different personal experiences and what I’ve taken from them. So that was more of the saying who I am explicitly, and then I closed it off by connecting back to the intro story and reflecting on the future. However the content flows for your daughter is probably going to express herself the best, so I wouldn’t worry too much about the specifics of the writing style. I did work with a college essay tutor who helped me outline my essay and I would recommend looking into that as an option to have an outside resource help you with the format and writing style aspects of the essay. Good luck!