<p>My daughter prepared a draft of her Common Application Personal Statement and I'm concerned about the content. In the essay, she discusses how she wanted to be popular and have popular friends, and she touches on drinking. (It was through this experience that she realized she was not being true to herself.) Drinking is not the focus of the essay but I'm concerned that she has crossed a line she shouldn't. Would anyone mind reading it and giving us some feedback? </p>
<p>Thanks in advance!</p>
<p>I will look it over. Sounds like an easy one since you aren’t asking for detailed comments, just the general appropriateness. I’d worry too, but let’s see how she pulled it off.</p>
<p>OP - you are a newbie, so I will offer a bit of advice. I would caution you against sharing your D’s essay(s) with people you don’t know on CC. I would check out their credentials (how long they have been posting, do they appear knowledgeable…). You could get a lot of that info by reading their old posts. There is always a risk that the reader may use it or share it with others without your consent. You could ask if a topic is good without necessarily sharing the essay. This post is not direct at BrownParent because he/she has been around for a while.</p>
<p>Thanks oldfort. I appreciate the advice. </p>
<p>BrownParent - I’ll send it to you now through a e-mail. However, how do I go about asking for detailed comments? We may need that since we have not sought professional advice in this area; we only paid for an individual SAT tutor, which I believe paid off very well. </p>
<p>Again, thanks in advance.</p>
<p>I see that I have an old email there not in use so I will have to update it, so didn’t get anything from you. Sorry, please PM or send again as I will fix now.</p>
<p>I think you are right to get feedback and discuss with daugter if this is a topic best to be used. If yes, then I can give my comments. Once she has several drafts/refinements done she can ask one of her English teachers if they would mind reading it. If you are applying in the fall.</p>
<p>I’ll read it - let me know the type of schools your d is applying to.</p>
<p>BrownParent - I just sent it through as an e-mail. I cannot PM anyone until I get at least 15 posts in the forums . . .</p>
<p>sakacar - Is e-mail okay? Thanks.</p>
<p>I can read it if you feel that you don’t have enough advice already.</p>
<p>OK, I got it and I am trying to put together some feedback for you. Which prompt is this for?</p>
<p>ok look for the email, hope it makes sense, take what you like and leave the rest.</p>
<p>I would be leery of this topic–unless she has treated it in some special way, and it is very well written–it sounds more cliched than compelling.</p>