<p>Hello. I'm applying to AAP for the BFA and I want to declare the BA/BFA option.
In high-school, my grades were a bit under par. I believe my GPA was a 2.97, right now at Ithaca College I have a 4.0. I also have a portfolio but it consist mostly of digital 3D art, computer drawings, and digital photography. No drawings or sketches as I cant draw too well. So my essay has to strong to win over my other traits. Im a freshman at Ithaca College, applying for fall 2009.</p>
<p>I have both the common app transfer essay and the why cornell supplement essay. Any critique or help would be greatly appreciated.</p>
<p>Sure I would love to. Just PM me...but does the fact that I am a high school senior matter? Or would you prefer a college student reading your essay? If so, I understand. :=)</p>
<p>well thats the thing, Im pretty much only good at digital art so I want to learn other mediums, like drawing and sculpture, and dark room photography. Cornell would offer me all that and the opportunity to study liberal arts and sciences as well. my goal is to do a dual degree. BFA/BA</p>
<p>Coldwind, you suggested removing the word "I" but im not quite sure how that is possible if this is a personal essay. How can I eliminate those pronouns. </p>
<p>also would anyone else like to critique this essay or give me tips on how to improve.</p>
<p>The "Do not use I" rule only applies to writing from an objective perspective (IE news writing.) If you are writing a personal essay or vignette, it is always permissible. </p>
<p>I'd be willing to read it too, if y'want. ^^</p>
<p>Artman: My critique stated that you used the pronoun "I" too many times. You need to eliminate half of the "I"s by tightening up your sentences. Your entire essay needs to be rethought & then rewritten, in my opinion. It is too wordy & will not help your cause.</p>