<p>Anyone? :) I'll PM it to you.</p>
<p>First of, "seizes" should be "ceases" in the first paragraph. I don't really know of adcoms taste in music, but I would personally be quite offended if you say Eminem is not talented or that he cannot be a source of therapy to those who have a different background or taste in music from you. Just like how you can feel peaceful listening to lyrics of drugged up hippies, others can let out their rage listening to Em or other rappers.
You have chosen a quite common topic to explore, and generally I think adcoms would like to see more of how the issue applies to your community specifically. Some places, it really seemed as if you used shift F7. But overall, it's not bad. Maybe you could delve more into how you realized The Beatles are more of your type of music as opposed to Eminem.</p>
<p>Thanks for your feedback. I think I'm going to change the essay topic, however, and discuss how the arts are vastly underfunded.</p>
<p>I will take a look. PM me</p>