Essay Feedback

Hi, could someone with experience please read my essay and judge if it’s well, good enough to make an impression on reach colleges or if I should think of another topic. I have good academic stats but writing isn’t my strong point, so I’d really appreciate honest feedback as to whether the essay would be considered weak, mediocre, strong, etc. Thanks

I realized this should have been in the college essays forum. Is there any way to move it?

A mod will come along and move it.
You could send it to me, I’ll be happy to read it.