Essay help someone who is not too familiar!

<p>Hi, I come from the Czech republic and I was just wandering about what should the commonapp essay be like. I know I am asking a lot from you but could you pleaaaaase take a look at it if this is good? I have no one in my friends who understands how it should be. The english is not correct yet, do not look on the gramma mistakes - I will get them fixed with my English-speaking friend. So this is it:-)</p>

<p>I open the door. This is it. My new home. The odour of dust strikes me as I enter. Stepping into the sun light sneaking in through the mouldered courtains, I take a look around. I whisper "my new home" and let the sound spread across the room. Deap breath. I stand there, with pride, feeling of accomplishment and eagerness for the new capitol of my life. My new home. Home, that will be only mine, nobody else's. Home I will have to take care of. Home in which nobody will take care of me. My new, own home.</p>

<p>I fulfilled my wish. My maturness allowed me to take up the responsibility of taking care of my own home. I cannot wait to foster it. To clean up every slit of it. To find furniture everywhere possible. To create the cozyness I have in my imagination. I rejoice at the look I have in my mind. </p>

<p>I feel the resposibility I am handling. It is a bargain heavier than most of my peers carry. High school, my only duty before, is accompanied by bills, tidyness, food etc. My free time is taken by duties that cannot wait and duties I want to solve without anyone's help. This is my own home, my own decission to stand by my own. </p>

<p>I, the teenager, am fighting obstacles that seem to be too grown-up. These obstacles face me seeming to be unbeatable at the time and I have no choice than overcome them. It is hard but I cannot complain to anyone. I want to be strong enough to master daily problems on my own. In some sense, I adore these obstacles. I was awaiting them to proove the world and me I am strong. </p>

<p>Facing challenges that used to belong in the adult world only is rewarded with a look at my room. Before, I shared my room with my mom, sister and a dog. The home before was established, I felt secure it will always be there for me. But now, home is something I have to build before fully having it. My apartment is like an apple tree - I planted the seed with the first rent payment, I manure and water it with every piece of new furniture and the delight from the bite of the delicious apple can be felt when coming in an equipped home after a hard day. I feel the pleasure from building something on my own, something new in my world; I feel the pride of finalizing my work and the bliss of enjoying the fruit brought by blood and sweat and the hope of handing it over one day.</p>

<p>and I guess it is worth mentioning that I am applying to the reach schools - Columbia, Yale, Brown, UChicago, UPenn</p>