Essay (Please Grade and Comment)

<p>PROMPT: Is the world changing for the better. (Note this essay was written in 25 minutes and it is a first draft)
With so many types of people in this world today, a large variety of thought exists. People have different points of views on an abundance of subjects. One of these subjects is the changing world. Different people, particularly the religious fanatics and the everyday person, feel that the world is changing for the better and for the worse.
Religious extremists are not fond of how the future is being shaped. Recently, Time magazine reported that Rome, arguably the Christian Capital of the world, has approved an abortion pill. The Christian order has protested abortion from the time the idea was first mentioned and they are deeply angered that an object they find evil is in their “home”. Islamic extremists also disprove of the changing world. Since the 1500s the world has globalized at an intense pace. Today, the world is more interconnected than ever before. When the terrorist attack on September 11th occurred, analysts felt that the bombing was an action against globalization. After all, the terrorists did attack the place where the globe crams into one building, the world trade center.
The normal everyday person feels that the world is changing for the better. New medicines allow us to live longer, healthier lives. The government and engineers are finding ways to reduce emissions. Many animal species have been taken off the endangered species list. The world looks as is its walking down a path toward harmony between humans and nature. Harmony between humans has also occurred over the years. People are taking preventive measures against violence. Committees like the UN help prevent major wars and violence.</p>

<p>I forgot to put the last paragraph:
Some people feel that the world is getting better, while others feel it’s getting worse. In a way, all these opinions are true when you consider where they come from. People need to step into another persons shoes and understand their background before they judge them.</p>

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<li>Good ideas, does not flow well, weak conclusion, lower level vocab.</li>
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