Grade our essays

<p>"There is, of course, no legitimate branch of science that enables us to predict the future accurately. Yet the degree of change in the world is so overwhelming and so promising that the future, I believe, is far brighter than anyone has contemplated since the end of the second world war"</p>

<p>Assignment: Is the world changing for the better?</p>

<p>Here is my essay:</p>

<p>"""Whether or not the world is changing for the better is a question against which most philosophers would have trouble taking a forthright stand. However, on the basis of occurrences and examples from modern human society, I find myself of the opinion that the world is on a roller-coaster ride plunging downwards.</p>

<p>To begin with, technological innovations have brought great comforts and conveniences to human society. However, we have become slaves to these very materialistic comforts that were made for our benefit. Our social lives have ceased to exist beyond the realms of the virtual world. Our grocery shopping is done over the internet. Technology has also brought with it weapons capable of destruction so massive, our entire species could face extinction in a matter of minutes. These go to show that the consequences of technological development are indeed having a negative toll on the way our world is evolving.</p>

<p>Furthermore, in our ride onwards, moral values have not taken a backseat, they have been thrown off the ride. Sex, drugs and violence have taken over our lives. Discrimination on the basis of gender, class, religion, color of skin continues to plague human society. Minds possessed by the spirits of extremism have taken terrorism to new heights. Poverty, overpopulation, extreme conditions of living, illiteracy, lack of medical facilities continue to harass nearly a third of the world's population. Can we still say the world is changing for the better?</p>

<p>In light of the aforementioned illustrations, it is evident that to conclude that the world is changing for the better would be a lapse of better reasoning and judgment. It would do human society good if we were to break out of our illusion and work together for a better tomorrow."""</p>

<p>My friend's essay:</p>

<p>"""Change is inevitable. Today's world has undergone a myriad of changes and is nowhere close to what it was during the past. As the years have progressed, there have been drastic changes in the lifestyles of people and their goals. It is impossible to predict the pattern of these changes, but it can be told with assurance that change is for the better.</p>

<p>In the past, traveling from one part of the world to another proved to be very time consuming and at times dangerous and precarious, but since the inception of the aeroplane, the world seems to have become much smaller. Today people are able to reach every nook and corner of the world in less than a day.</p>

<p>The invention of telephone and host of other communication devices have improved connectivity and bolstered globalization. The population of the world is everyday becoming increasingly heterogeneous with a blend of different cultures. Change is the catalyst of progress and evolution. Without change the world would remain stagnant and its future would be dull. Change is a weapon to combat the problems and adversities of the present. It inspires people to live different lives, think differently and influence others.</p>

<p>Today, life has become fast paced, more productive and more efficient We are able to accomplish daunting tasks within strict deadlines. All this is due to change. It is better to be optimistic, than pessimistic. Therefore, condoning the incidental misfortunes of change, we can say that change is for the better and will always raise our standard of living."""</p>

<p>Please offer you suggestions as to how we can improve.</p>

<p>8 each i would say</p>

<p>show steamed rice</p>

<p>overall, the topic is firmyl developed but i would have liked that you add a more specific exmaple like a book that shows exactly how technology or man has not changed for the better. Your essay discusses only brief ideas and examples, containing no single uniform solid example in a paragraph.
the First essay/second paragraph you describe technology. I would suggest using incidences like hiroshima/pearlharbor/nagasaki. You explain that tech kills then thats it…
remember that thi prompt is about “change” so a good way you could’ve explained is by using two incidents of technology killing and then stating “See, the world isn’t changing because even though we have all this technology we still kill people with it” stuff like that</p>

<p>then bring that all together in your conclusion</p>

<p>overall i give a 7/8-ish</p>

<p>remember examples!!</p>