Essay score?

Hi, i wrote an essay and wanted to see how much i would score in your opinions. Thanks in advance for sharing your thoughts !

Assignment : Should people take more responsibility for solving problems that affect their communities or the nation in general?

If i was able to question every citizen on Earth about what they of their government, i firmly assure that the public opinion would have a negative vision of it. We live in an era where the government’s role isn’t efficient anymore. Nowadays, the regular citizen doesn’t put his or her trust in the governmental’s institutions anymore, in opposition to his or her predecessors who praised the government, which really incarnated a symbol of power, stability and security. This a total antithesis that force us,humans, to rethink our position towards the multiple organizations that are literally in charge of our life, before it’s too late.

Yes, i categorically assume that one’s responsibility towards his or her country, and more generally towards the world, has never been so titanic. Not only because there are many associations, organizations (mostly non-governmental) and cooperations that lead us to act for the benefit of everyone, would it by volunteering in the avenue’s hospital in the corner, or by traveling to Morocco to teach some child how to speak English or French, but also because the world is going worse. We imperatively need to realize that, regardless to our economic development and the increasing globalization, we are losing step-by-step our humanity. How can the government that represents such a minority in terms of number be supposed to handle a country by itself? It sounds like a juvenile question but my historic example will fortify this Idea.
Of course, back to primary civilization , there was a chief, or a couple of people leading a tribal or an ethnic community. Nowadays, those chiefs should be assimilated to the government, but comparing the population proportions easily shows that this system isn’t working anymore. Those chiefs were having a certain proximity with their people, meanwhile governments are only institutions ; This shows the decreasing efficiency of depending on an individual or a restricted group of people to lead.
We, habitants of Earth, need to wake up and act for our world’s preservation, and it doesn’t only go by saying : Our principal aim should be at education. Firstly, campaigns should occur to inform every citizen, mostly the young ones, about his or her new 2015’s status towards world situation. Secondly, There should be more organizations that promote one’s project by assisting him or her with funds searching or a legal status implantation for example.
As a moroccan citizen, my opinion about the government is no good. We suffer from corruption and the lack of competences of the governmental’s corpses. Hopefully, public opinion is raising its voice and we can easily found more institutions providing help than we did 5 years ago. Hopefully, because if we don’t start acting for our world’s and beautiful country preservation, which specie will take the responsibility of the world’s demolition if not us?

EXCUSE ME THE ACTUAL ESSAY IS THIS ONE

Hi, i wrote an essay and wanted to see how much i would score in your opinions. Thanks in advance for sharing your thoughts !

Assignment : Should people take more responsibility for solving problems that affect their communities or the nation in general?

If i was able to question every citizen on Earth about what they think of their government, i firmly assure that the public opinion’s majority would have a negative vision of it. We live in an era where the government’s role isn’t efficient . Nowadays, the regular citizen doesn’t put his or her trust in the governmental’s institutions anymore, in opposition to his or her predecessors whom praised the government, which really incarnated a symbol of power, stability and security back then. This is a total antithesis that force us,humans, to rethink our position towards the multiple organizations that are literally in charge of our living, before it’s too late.

Yes, i categorically affirm that one’s responsibility towards his or her country, and more generally towards the world, has never been so titanic. Not only because there are many more associations, organizations (mostly non-governmental) and cooperations that lead us to act for the benefit of everyone, would it by volunteering in the avenue corner’s hospital , or by traveling to Morocco to teach several child how to speak English or French, but also because the world is going worse. We imperatively need to realize that, regardless to our economic development and the increasing globalization, we are losing step-by-step our humanity. How can the government that represents such a minority in terms of number be supposed to handle a country by itself? It sounds like a juvenile question but my historic example will fortify this Idea.
Of course, back to primary civilization , there was a chief, or a couple of people leading a tribal or an ethnic community. Nowadays, those chiefs should be assimilated to the government, but comparing the population proportions easily shows that this system isn’t working anymore. Those chiefs were having a certain proximity with their people, meanwhile governments are only institutions ; This shows the decreasing efficiency of depending on an individual or a restricted group of people to lead.
We, habitants of Earth, need to wake up and act for our world’s preservation, and it doesn’t only go by saying : Our principal aim should be at education. Firstly, campaigns should occur to inform every citizen, mostly the young ones, about his or her new 2015’s status towards world situation. Secondly, There should be more organizations that promote one’s projects by assisting him or her with funds searching or a legal status implantation for example. The last but not the least, is that we definitely should think as a team and not get discouraged by apparent stagnation; this is of capital importance because just as one can easily believe that the singularity of his or her actions won’t serve at all comparing to the rest, so does he also can think the same about the very low number of his actions in comparison to the rest, meanwhile changing the world is a long-term and each individual dependent project.
As a moroccan citizen, my opinion about the government is no good. We suffer from corruption and the lack of competences of the governmental’s corpses. Hopefully, public opinion is raising its voice and we can easily found more institutions providing help than we did 5 years ago. Hopefully, because if we don’t start acting for our world’s and beautiful country’s preservation, which specie will take the responsibility of the world’s demolition if not us?