<p>My daugher had been working on her common app essay for a week or so. I decided to hire a tutor to critique it for her and she came home with a completely different essay than she had started with. She had initially chosen the prompt that deals with an event that signaled the transition to adulthood. While poignant, the essay is about her heart getting broken by a boy she dated for almost a year. I have always heard "this is your chance to brag about yourself" and similar comments that seem to indicate that she should be finding ways to highlight her strengths and such. While I do believe she grew as a result of the event and learned to forge ahead thru struggles, I am just wondering if this is an appropriate topic for a common app essay??? Thoughts??</p>
<p>I think people who “brag about themselves” in their essays may find themselves disappointed. So many adm officers have spoken about the “simplicity” of essays that they remember. I think there is actually a highlighted thread online here right now about why officers like “basic language.” Using gigantic words and superficial language about great things the student has done may backfire. The colleges are reading hundreds if not thousands of apps. They want to quickly and easily “envision” the student - if only a piece of the student. If your daughter’s essay “speaks” to her, awesome</p>
<p>sz: you’ve been given poor advice. The purpose of an essay ISN’T bragging because you don’t want to come off as a showy braggart.</p>
<p>As cliched as this is: colleges want to see “character” – in awareness of others, reflection of profound issues, care & concern for the something.</p>
<p>Certainly the broken heart essay can be self absorbed and immature. But it can also be a great reflection on resiliency and personal strength. It could work – I wouldn’t assume the topic is bad per se. The devil is in the details.</p>
<p>The more poignant of my two essays dealt with how I betrayed a friend’s secret and how I had to work to regain his friendship. No super happy ending as it was still ongoing – frankly I shared I was a jerk and trying to reform myself. I believe readers saw a 17 year old willing to self examine and take responsibility – not just some robotic book wonk.</p>
<p>Colleges want the essays to reflect “voice”, they want to get to know you and what makes you tick. That’s why your essay can even be about how you’re not a nice person sometimes, as long as you acknowledge that it wasn’t nice. Brag about yourself and that will become your voice, basically, you’re an insufferable donkey.</p>
<p>Writing about having your heart broken is not easy for anyone, let alone a teenage girl, and if she did it well, it will be a fine essay. (Although it could also be just awful. I’d check and see which it is.)</p>
<p>My gut feeling is that it’s kind of a risky topic. You don’t want someone who is going to think of her as some stereotypical lovelorn teenage girl who, when she could write about any dream, passion, or aspiration, chooses to write about a boy. It’s the kind of essay that could come across as immature (high school relationships often have a stigma attached) or could show independence and personal strength…I think it’s not the topic but the content of the essay itself that’s really going to matter.</p>
<p>It is, as people say above, a “risky” essay. It’s impossible to say more having not seen it of course, but in my book, you don’t want to give the admissions committee any reason at all to say no.</p>
<p>Whereas one shouldn’t brag in an essay, and have that type of tone come across, admissions officers and interviewers want to see that the student is “a student” - someone with intellectual interests, someone who is looking back on their journey that has gotten them to this point, and is also looking forward to where they want to go.</p>
<p>It isn’t bragging to speak about accomplishments if it’s done in a manner that is reflective and simply relates something emotionally and/or intellectually meaningful about the experience. Schools like solid students who know where they’ve come from and know where they would like to go (even if this changes along the way).</p>
<p>Without seeing the essay I can’t say for sure, but especially if you’re talking about the Common App, your daughter’s essay topic is a pretty big risk.</p>