<p>My daughter is considering UNC Chapel Hill; we are from NJ. We love the campus and location, and academics seem to be top rate. Though she is mostly Caucasian, (a quarter Hispanic), she is darker skinned and has a "exotic" look, she has been told, so she can pass for a lot of different darker skinned ethnic groups. Everyone else in our core and extended family is very "white" looking. None of us speak Spanish or know much about Hispanic culture so she certainly would not fit in well in any of those diversity support groups at college (though it may look like she should). She is used to being around mostly upper middle class white students whom which she shares typical interests. </p>
<p>My concern and question is, will it be more difficult for her to fit in with the predominantly white majority, with whom she is used to associating with, and being a part of? Will the southern white students be less inclined to want to be her friend than others who are more white looking like them? Even worse, will some people even be on the look out for any reason to dislike her? </p>
<p>Maybe the question is this - are a lot of students from the typical ethnic majority likely to be less friendly and less receptive to someone who looks like they are from a different ethnic background? Maybe that's a naive question, and maybe it's kind of a universal question, not just one for the south.</p>
<p>We never really thought about this much until a transplanted school mate of hers, from the south, told her to think twice before going to college in the south where there is more racism. I have done some digging since, and see that there has been some ethnic friction in the recent past.</p>
<p>Would really appreciate completely candid replies from some current students. Thanks so much.</p>
<p>Students here are friendly, welcoming and very accepting. This is very much an environment where we are all Tar Heels first. I can assure you that it is absolutely a non issue at Chapel Hill. BTW, I’m an OOS Caucasian student (a minority here … LOL) and my roommate is a URM from NC. We both love it here.</p>
<p>Just to add a little more skepticism, her race is likely to be a complete non-issue, but this is not guaranteed. She should visit to get a sense of the campus, if she hasn’t already. It’s not likely to come up in everyday life, but might get in the way if she wants to join one of the ‘top’ sororities, for example.</p>
<p>I have to agree with the above. As a parent of a minority OOS first year, I wouldn’t say it’s a non-issue. With that being said my observations have been groups are more inclusive along class/background rather than race. So an upper middle class minority shouldn’t have much trouble finding a group of like-minded upper middle class students. However segregation definitely takes place along cultural backgrounds. Keep in mind this occurs on every campus. Visit campus and have her talk to the groups that interest her. My guess is she’ll be welcomed with open arms at Chapel Hill.</p>
<p>I tried not to post my reply but I feel that I must. SpecificRegrets your post sounds a little racist. First off there are upper middle class Hispanics. Secondly perhaps it would be a good thing if she got to know her Hispanic heritage and joined those groups of campus. It appears by your post that your daughter could benefit by expanding the diversity of her friends. I think it is awesome that your daughter is 25% Hispanic, she needs to embrace it and realize that being different is a good thing. I am just curious if you put down she was Hispanic on her college application?</p>
<p>I’m going to step in and give the OP a little bit of a brake. As I mentioned, my daughter is a minority and she went to a predominantly white, upper middle class magnet school in our area. She was adamant that she attended a college that had a minority presence of at least 10%. That left many of the top schools she could have applied to out of the question. Chapel Hill was a perfect fit for her. In high school we had to seek out diverse activities for her to be involved so she could participate in cultural events. Not every child wants or seeks out cultural experiences and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. </p>
<p>The OPs situation seems to be the opposite of ours. She has no ties to her heritage and simply wants to be accepted for the way she views herself, which is a white upper middle class kid. My daughter, who is black, is being solicited by a hispanic sorority, most likely because she expressed interest in their culture. We met a white kid during a visit, with definite kinship to the hip hop culture who was in a black fraternity. This is one of the main reasons we love UNC so much. I’d hope she’d be welcomed with open arms from whatever group she self identifies with. I find it liberating that we get to choose who we want to be.</p>
<p>I agree 100% that when you are going to school and you are a minority you need to take that into account. My post was to address the mother’s stereotypical views of Hispanics. Point is that her daughter should be viewing herself as a smart, attractive, Hispanic/white female. Not really a good idea to ID yourself based on your economic status. Diversity should be encouraged not avoided. I would be very interested to know how her daughter feels about this. Also not all Hispanics speak Spanish. Do people who are 25% Italian all speak Italian?</p>
<p>I didn’t read it as stereotyping, but I can see how it might be read that way. I took it as background information that she didn’t speak Spanish and wasn’t involved in the culture. She’d definitely be way off if she believed that’s all these groups were about. </p>
<p>I will have to disagree about identity and believe her daughter should be able to view herself however she chooses. Wether that’s white/Hispanic or male-it’s up to her. </p>
<p>I agree it’s not a good idea to ID one’s self based on economic status. I’ve noticed more of that than the racial divisions at UNC. Neither is ideal. But I have noticed UNC definitely does have those boundaries. </p>
<p>At the end of the day, I think we agree that college is a great place to figure out who you are and who you want to be. I think UNC is a great place to do that. It’s hard to feel isolated there because there are so many organizations to get involved with regardless of your child’s background. And as has been stated, your daughter may use the opportunity to get in touch with her Hispanic heritage and embrace it.</p>
<p>^I’d be interested in what examples of economic segregation you have observed at UNC (excluding the Greek system which is predicated on arbitrary exclusivity and the member’s ability to pay … everywhere).</p>
<p>Whew, New Yawk, now you’re getting into the nitty gritty of what really goes on. Obviously I have to respect my daughter’s privacy so excuse me if I’m not as detailed as l can be. </p>
<p>The frat system is obvious and easy to recognize. My D was initially interested in rush, but found the selection process jaded. She felt the callbacks were skewed. A friend of hers who was invited back to her top choice decided she didn’t like the idea of “paying” for a group of friends so she dropped out. I think there’s a feeling among certain groups that it’s a pay to play system that you can’t even enter if you’re not connected. </p>
<p>Dating-my D is a debutante and think what you may about that process but she was raised to actually date young men. However the social events on campus all revolve around the fraternity system which the majority of young black men aren’t a part of. She has gone to one social which she enjoyed. However she was invited by the lone black guy in the frat. In other words the pickings are slim if you’re interested in dating a black man in a more formal setting (not clubs or off campus parties) because there aren’t a lot of minorities in the traditional frats. </p>
<p>Her suite mates who are not minorities have not invited her to eat, hang with them, home for fall break, nothing. Everyone is polite (well except one), but socially it’s clear she’s not in the club. </p>
<p>Again I don’t think any of it is racially motivated. I have advised her to put her debutante hat on when she leaves her room but she’s a sweatpants wearing, hoodie , ponytail wearing girl. So certain guys, groups, and social activities aren’t available.</p>
<p>^That’s too bad. It certainly isn’t for everyone, however, my daughter loves it there. Having been raised in an upper middle class neighborhood yet still very involved in her heritage and roots she’s able to navigate most situations and these types of divisions roll right over her. You have to choose for yourself what you’re comfortable with, but I hope I’ve prepared her for the real world and all the challenges that come with it. She’s not crying in her room on the weekends. She’s found a group of friends and a group of activities that’s perfect for her. She could have gone to an HBCU and she didn’t want that experience either. She could have gone to an ivy, but neither offered her the diversity, athletic, academic experience she was looking for. It’s not a perfect system but UNC is a great fit for her. I do think she wishes the dating would pick up. Haha.</p>
<p>My cousin is at University of South Carolina and is experiencing the same issues as your daughter. So you are right that this is not an unique situation to UNC</p>
<p>Thanks to all for your replies, this has been very helpful and interesting. </p>
<p>Just two things I want to make clear. First, in no way was I insinuating that there are few, or no Hispanics that are upper middle class or wealthy for that matter. I never even stated that we, ourselves, are upper middle class. I only included that to further illustrate what she is used to, and, in case some might consider segregation by economic class in their reply. Secondly, it’s not that she’s rejecting part of her background, it’s just that there are no opportunities she has to identify with the culture or heritage with friends or within the family. The food, music, dancing, language, home countries, customs, etc. - things people of a particular ethnic background typically share and enjoy talking about - she knows very little about. Her grandmother, who has since passed, right or wrong, did not encourage her children or grandchildren to speak the language and embrace that part of their heritage. The reason was because she didn’t want them to have to go through the same discrimination that she experienced, and it was considerable. </p>
<p>Amazhon your replies are especially helpful. I am very glad your daughter is happy and I really appreciate your candor. I wish I could say that divisiveness or an exclusionary vibe would roll right over my daughter. It would be tough on her. Unfortunately it is likely the real world - she somehow needs to become better prepared and develop a thicker skin.</p>
<p>To those who asked, we have not decided about indicating Hispanic on college apps. We plan to ask a couple of the colleges that she is serious about what they think, given the facts, and go from there.</p>
<p>SpecificRegrets…why in the world would you not indicate she is Hispanic? People are divided on this but the reality is that it may open some doors for her (academically and financially). It may serve as a stepping stone for her to learn more about her culture.</p>
<p>I’m not sure why a person wouldn’t indicate their ethnicity as well. That would be the same as not divulging your last name is Trump (no offense Mr. Trump). College admissions is a tough, mysterious beast. Any advantage you have whether it’s athleticism, academics, alumni status, or your grandfather’s name on one of the buildings should be highlighted. There are a limited number of spots at these top universities and I see nothing wrong with answering honestly to a question they put out there.</p>
<p>The only reason would be if the schools don’t technically consider her Hispanic if she is just 25%. To say that she truly adds to the “diversity” of most campuses would not exactly be an accurate statement, unless, possibly, if you base it on looks alone. </p>
<p>We’re just looking to do the right thing. It would be bad if she put it down, gained some advantage as a result, and later find out that, based on the percentage, she is not entitled to that advantage.</p>
<p>Wait–so there’s a percentage on how Hispanic or Black or Asian a person is? And the schools decide how ethnic we are? I have never heard of such a thing (except in the Native American community and its a federal standard I believe). I don’t think the issue was if she was truly Hispanic or not. It was if she identified with her Hispanic heritage and if she would be judged based on her brown skin. I have African American friends who are pale with blue eyes. There is such a thing as diversity even within a particular race.</p>